The P-spot gets its name because it’s a part of the prostate, which is a muscular gland that surrounds the neck of the bladder on people with penises. Similar to the G-spot, the P-spot is also more of a P-area in a general region of the body. Stimulating the P-spot can elicit intense orgasms, if that’s your goal, and is best accomplished by inserting fingers or a toy into the anus and pushing gently toward the front of the body, in the direction of the belly button.
Where Is It?
Go on a prostate hunt when you’re aroused. This is the easiest way to find it. Insert your finger little by little until you feel a little rough bumpy area just a couple of inches inside your rectum and up towards the root of the penis. If you feel a spongy area, this is your P-spot. Typically it is the size of a walnut in younger folks, but increases in size as people age, and can be as large as a plum. The prostate gland’s primary function is as a paraurethral gland that produces fluid for semen.
How Does It Work?
Stimulation and massage can feel very pleasurable to the P-spot. There tends to be a lot of stigma around anal play, but forget that. If it feels great, why not try it? You’ll want to engage in some sort of foreplay - whether physical or mental (or both) - to arouse your body before you begin.
How to Play With Your P-spot
Always, always use lube! I'd suggest something thicker, maybe Sliquid Sassy, and something water-based for beginners so you have more control and less accidental slip. After testing it a few times, I'd recommend a silicone lube, which will be longer lasting, as long as you're not using a silicone toy (silicone on silicone will break each other down). Once you’ve got lube, you can use fingers or toys to stimulate this area of the prostate from inside the anal canal. The reason lubricant is so important is because the anus isn’t elastic and isn’t self-lubricating - lube facilitates an easy glide.
If you want to use toys to pleasure the P-spot, but don’t know where to start, try something with a firm curve that bends toward the belly once it's inserted into the anus. Here’s a great guide for 10 awesome prostate toys to try.
Anal play shouldn’t hurt if you’re doing it right, and if you’re trying it for the first time, take deep breaths and relax. Relaxation allows your muscles - including the ones around your anus - to relax.
Let’s take one second to test this theory (I promise this is #SFW!): tense your whole body, tense your face muscles, tense your shoulders, tense your abdomen, tense your buttocks, tense your thighs, tense your calves, and tense your toes …
... now, release!
Were you breathing? So often we get anxious or nervous, and our muscles tense up. Then, before we know it, we aren’t breathing and aren’t even conscious of it. When we’re not breathing, we expend extra energy, and we make it much more difficult to get the anus to open up for us. Deep breaths are calming, and they’re important - pair them with lube, and you’ve got a winning combination for stimulating the P-spot.
The Forgotten Erogenous Zones
I have a secret for you. Do you know what your biggest sex organ is? What your most intense erogenous zone is? Hint: everyone has one.
Drum-roll .... it’s your brain. When your brain is in the mood, when you feel stimulated and turned on, any part of your body can be an erogenous zone. An erogenous zone is any part of the body that is sensitive to sexual stimulation.
Finding erogenous zones is about fining areas of your body that aren’t often touched and eroticizing them.
One excellent way to test what zones work for you is to use sensation play: try feathers, different temperatures, pressure, tickling and vibrations across your body. Maybe your toes want to be sucked and you didn’t even know; maybe running silk or feathers across your inner thighs feels amazing; nibbling ears can be erogenous, so can running your fingernails lightly behind the knees, impact play on forearms, warm candle wax drizzled across the back of your neck ... Just think about your skin, about your body - what parts of your body get the least attention? Lots of these areas are rife with nerve-endings, which means they could be erogenous zones for you or your partner.
So get creative, give different things a try, and take pleasure in all your discoveries.