People underestimate how much foreplay contributes to mind blowing sex. Attention and dedication to foreplay can lead to a greater number of orgasms, more intense orgasms, deeper intimacy and an intensified bond between partners. Much of this is highlighted in the art of Tantric sex, which literally means “the weaving and expansion of energy.” It’s an ancient Hindu practice that dates back 5,000 years, and it's best described as an intentionally slow and methodical form of foreplay, intercourse and orgasm. Check out these 10 modern-day do's and don'ts for making the most out of your sensual encounters.
Foreplay is an ongoing endeavor. The process can begin hours or even days before you actually link up with your sexy someone. Send provocative texts throughout the day, including a risqué photo from time to time. Then when you’re together, expose the lace trim on your thigh highs or play footsie during your date.
DON’T Forget It
You’re panting and writhing, turned on to the max. The temptation to skip foreplay altogether may be strong. Control yourself, and remember to reel it in. Sex is the icing on the cake, but the cake is what makes icing so damn good. Plus, taking the time to connect makes the whole experience way more intense.
DO Be Prepared
After spending quality time building up excitement with deliberate stimulation, it would be a shame to bring the steaminess to a screeching halt because you’re not ready for action. Be sure to keep a drawer of essential items like condoms, lube, and toys close by for easy access.
DON’T Hurry It
Slow your roll, Speed Racer. The worst thing you can do is rush through foreplay. It’s all about the subtle sensations you create for your partner. Smile with your eyes, slowly undress one another, and linger around erogenous zones for maximum satisfaction. Take breaks, switch positions, and take some time to laugh and enjoy each other.
DO Explore the Body
You can excite desire with your fingers, tongue and lips. The neck, ears, hands, lower abdomen, nipples, and inner thighs are the usual suspects. Did you know that one of the most overlooked hot spots is behind the knees? Erogenous zones are located all over the body, and they are different for everyone. Spend plenty of time exploring!
DON’T Try Too Hard
While paddles, hot wax, whips and elaborate lingerie can be fun, they're not always necessary. Fumbling with unfamiliar accoutrements, messing around with mood lighting, and trying to find the perfect seductive song in your music library usually detracts from the mood. Simply be yourself and go with the flow.
DO Pay Attention
The occasional wrong move happens. Sometimes you’re too teethy. Other times, you’re too fast, too slow, or too pokey. Then, you get it blissfully right, find the sweet spot, and ignite delight. Make mental notes of what works and what doesn’t. Revisit and perfect those moves, always adding a little something special to keep things interesting.
DO Try Bondage
Vulnerability can boost sexual energy. One way to achieve this is through bondage. Find a silky belt, buy a cotton bandana, break out the furry handcuffs, or spring for hemp bondage rope. When bound, you’re able to focus on being pleasured - out of control and at your partner’s mercy. (Learn more in Why Bondage Can Be So Much Fun.)
DO CommunicateMost of us aren’t mind readers. If there’s something you don’t like, say so. If there’s something you like, squirm or give a little groan. A mix of verbal and nonverbal cues will help create an arousing space based on mutual give and take. Whisper lascivious suggestions, signal spots you want touched, and guide your partner’s hand to the Promised Land.
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