Stroke That: How to Rub Her the Right Way

I worked at a copy shop. It was not a glamorous or sexy job, but it paid the bills. Some days the job required me to stand for mindless hours at a counter taking orders. Customers would line up and wait impatiently for my time. As they stepped up to the counter they would pass me their documents, and I would take the details of their orders and pass the jobs on to the machine operators.

I had little interest in the customers. I did not want to know the details of their day; how they needed this in a rush because they had a flight to catch. I was not interested in interpersonal contact. For this reason, eye contact was not required. But as we passed papers between us I took to really looking at their hands. They innocently shuffled papers and pointed out details of their jobs while I perved their skin, fingernails and gestures. I could determine how well they cared for themselves, if they performed manual labor and what kind of dexterity they may have in these moments.

Ultimately I sorted customers into two piles: yes or no. Yes meaning I would have sex with them based purely on what I could glean from looking at their hands. Or no, I would not. It was a simple game where I got to objectify people for my own sexual amusement. It passed the time.

Upon confessing the details of my game to other females over the years, many have admitted that they assess hands too. Women look at your hands. How well you care for them speaks to us. And how well you use your hands on our bodies tells us even more. Your hands are sexual tools. Here are some tips that may turn your partner upside down.

Read: Kegels, Mirrors and Sex Toys: How I Learned to Have My First Orgasm at 31

Thigh Play

An orgasm, no matter how it is triggered, is a series of involuntary muscular contractions. Those muscles span out into a woman's inner thighs, which means that the thighs are a part of every orgasm. When you touch her inner thighs, you are in direct contact with her orgasmic platform. Beyond that, inner thighs are very erogenous. No one touches a woman's thighs but her lovers. That means that we are hyper aware of any touch we receive in this area.

How to do it? She may like to feel your fingers move slowly up her thighs. If you are a little rougher, you might give her inner thighs some slaps or grab them with confidence while you tell her how hot she is. This will get her heart thumping before you even head for her sweet spots. (For more insight, check out The No.1 Secret to the Female Orgasm.)

Full Frontal Contact

Stir more anticipation by holding the palm of your hand over her whole vulva, pressing against it while covering her completely with the warmth of your hand. Hold it there longer than you think you should. Really. Hold it ... until she starts to wiggle and ask for more.

Stroke It

Ready for friction? She is. Using a quality lube will amplify the fun. Try water-based or silicone. Each will give a very different experience. Try both. Best of all, lube will protect her skin from the microscopic friction burns that can happen even during light play. This will keep her body healthy and make longer, hotter bouts of play not only possible, but way more fun. (Get more advice on how to choose a lubricant in The Ins and Outs of Sexual Lubricants.)