Have you ever watched a bit of porn, found a GIF online, or read about a woman who’s orgasm squirted in great, wet splashes from her body? Did you think that what you were witnessing or reading had to be fake, another bit of sexual lore that creates unrealistic expectations for us mere mortals to compete with?

Think again.

Squirting orgasm, often referred to as female ejaculation, is a very real thing for some people. As with all things sexual, these super-soaked orgasms occur on a spectrum from grab-a-bucket to almost nothing. Plus, not everyone is capable of squirting during climax. And that's OK too. Whether you’ve heard that squirting is a myth, ejaculate is pee, or you’ve heard that anyone can squirt with the right technique, we’ve got your ultimate guide to teach you what squirting orgasms are (and are not) and how to possibly have one for yourself.

Like everything sexual, this is supposed to be fun and enjoyable, not an event to stress you out or make you question your sexual abilities. If squirting fascinates you, keep an open mind about the process, try to squirt if it appeals to you, and remember squirting orgasms aren’t required for mind-blowing sexual experiences.

What Are Squirting Orgasms?

Call it squirting, gushing, spurting, or plain old ejaculating, squirting orgasms are (quite literally) orgasms that cause a rush of fluid to be expelled at the point of climax. It’s very common in porn, which has caused some debate over whether the practice is fake or not. Note: Sometimes it’s faked in porn, sometimes it isn’t, and yes, women can and do squirt in real life. (Learn more in 6 Good Reasons to Believe That Squirting Is a Real Thing.)

Because each woman is different, not everyone can achieve the geyser-like squirting orgasms portrayed in porn. Even some squirters won’t gush every time they climax, and when they do, it won’t always flood the bed. For those who actively want to squirt during an orgasm, it’s important to remember that the harder you try to achieve this “milestone,” the more tense you become, and the more elusive your liquidy explosion will be.

How and Why Do Squirting Orgasms Occur?

Ask a woman what makes her squirt and the answers will vary. Some say that G-spot stimulation is required. Others need both G-spot and clitoral stimulation. As a squirter, if I’m relaxed enough and have had enough stimulation in other parts of my body during foreplay, all I need is steady and firm clitoral stimulation and I’ll soak the bed.

Squirting orgasms are not new things, although the G-spot “discovery” only dates back to the 1940s when a German gynecologist, Ernst Graffenberg, and American Robert Dickinson found a “new” erogenous zone on the vaginal wall. Insert a finger into your vagina while lying on your back so that your fingers press into the top part of your vaginal wall. When you feel a rough, spongy area, that’s your G-spot (named for Dr. Graffenberg!). Yet even prior to this realization, squirting orgasms had been documented as far back as first century Rome.

Because most female ejaculation is associated with the G-spot, this small, but very important, spot in a woman’s vagina takes center stage when discussing the gushy orgasms many women experience. Direct and repeated stimulation to the G-spot can, under the right circumstances, produce a squirting orgasm for some people.

How to Have a Squirting Orgasm

There is no guarantee that you will have a squirting orgasm, even if you try every tip and trick you can find. Like everything having to do with our bodies, our mental health, hormones, moods and ability to relax play an equal role with the physical stimulation. Even with perfect technique and a Zen-like calm, you may still not be able to squirt because not everyone can. But that doesn't mean it won't be fun to try!

Squirting isn’t proof of desire, a rite of passage, or even necessary to have a fulfilling, healthy and exciting sexual experience. However, if you want to try to squirt, here are some tips and tricks to try:

  • Before you get started, drink plenty of water. Squirting, if it’s going to happen at all, is more easily done when you’re hydrated.
  • Next, prepare “the area” - wherever you’re about to try to squirt. Put down a towel. Get out the old sheets you don’t care about. Cover your mattress. Whatever you need to do to prevent sleeping in a wet spot, do it. I have friends who use an old shower curtain to cover their bed or wherever they’re getting freaky.
  • Now, relaaaaaaaax. Getting stressed out over whether or not you’re going to squirt is the first step in making sure you don’t. Meditate. Listen to music. Cuddle with your partner. Be naked and enjoy skin to skin contact. Maybe try sensual massage with oil. Whatever helps you de-stress, do it.
  • Warm up with plenty of foreplay that you and your partner really enjoy. This will help you relax mentally as well as physically. There’s no rule about what your foreplay has to be. If kissing and soft strokes work, do that. If you’re a little kinkier and need a hard spanking or hair pulling, that’s good, too. What you want to do is prime your body for the stimulation to come (no pun intended).
  • If your body doesn’t produce a lot of natural fluid, no worries. Pull out your favorite lube for this squirting experiment.
  • Try G-spot stimulation first. For some women, myself included, these orgasms can take a while to build up. Patience is key. If you already know you don’t enjoy this kind of touch, skip this and go straight for clitoral stimulation.
  • Use your fingers by inserting one or two (whatever is comfortable) into your partner’s vagina. Bend your fingertips into a “hook” and make a “come here” motion. You should be tapping against the vaginal wall. Feel around for the rough, spongy section mentioned above - that’s the G-spot. If you’ve been to G-town a few times, this should be the easiest part.
  • Communicate and pay attention to find a speed and intensity that is pleasurable and builds desire and a feeling of pressure. That means an orgasm is looming.
  • If tapping doesn’t do much for you, have your partner try thrusting as if their fingers were a penis. At the same time, they can press their free hand against your pubic bone to create added pressure and friction. If neither is doing anything for you, you may want to try a toy. There are plenty of toys available to stimulate your g-spot like the Key Comet G Wand by Jopen or the Soraya by LELO.
  • Add additional stimulation by stroking your partner's clitoris, stimulating the nipples, or other things with your free hand (or mouth) that your partner enjoys.
  • If you’re possibly going to squirt, you’ll feel a very familiar sensation, but it will be out of context. The pressure building toward your impending orgasm may feel very similar to the sensation of needing to pee. This is part of where the idea comes from that squirting is actually urination.
  • At this stage, if you have that feeling, you’re going to need to relax your muscles and allow that sensation to flow through your body. The first time I squirted I had to tell myself it was OK to “let go” of my orgasm. I’d spent my adult life holding it back because I thought I might pee on myself. In an orgasm, your muscles clench and tighten but this is the one spot of your body that loosens its hold and allows the squirting orgasm to gush (or trickle) from your body.
  • After you’re done - having sex, creating more gushy orgasms, whatever - make sure to drink water and rehydrate. Yes, you can become dehydrated if you have enough squirting orgasms in a short amount of time - I have, and it wasn’t pleasant.

If you felt warm fluid squirt from your body during climax, congratulations - you’re officially a squirter. Yes, you can call yourself that even if it only happens this one time. If it didn’t happen, that’s OK too. Squirting takes practice and, as I mentioned before, it just doesn't work out for everyone because bodies are different.

Squirting isn’t some sexual right of passage every woman has to achieve before calling herself sexually satisfied. Only continue trying to squirt as long as it remains a fun thing to do. Once it begins to cause stress or feelings of inadequacy, stop and do something you really enjoy in bed.

If you need more than a few tips, there are plenty of resources out there promising to show you exactly what to do. A quick Google search will provide more than eight million responses. You can read books like "Squirting: It’s Easier than You Think" by Raine Leigh or take online courses like the Squirting Triggers Training Course from the School of Squirt. No, these aren’t endorsements of either, but proof that squirting is on a lot of people’s minds and that there are plenty of techniques to try.

The #NotPee Debate

Among those of us who squirt (and talk about it online) there has been a debate for a while about whether we’re peeing all over ourselves or if the fluid pouring from our bodies is genuine ejaculation. One small (but heavily publicized) scientific study - with only seven self-professed squirters as test subjects - found that because the fluid that gushes out of some of us during climax contains similar properties to urine, it must be pee. The Internet cried foul, including myself.

Epiphora, an amazing and talented sex blogger and reviewer, began a hashtag campaign called #notpee and encouraged fellow squirters (and lovers of squirters) to share our stories and spread the word. I jumped in with both feet, writing a passionate rebuttal based on my own experiences. Probably not my best writing, but it was certainly heartfelt.

The idea that women may experience years of denying their own orgasms (like I had) for fear of peeing on themselves because clickbait articles called their natural ejaculation process “urine” made me see red. It was another example, in a long, winding road of them, of women’s sexuality being denied in yet another way - at least to me. The fact that it came on the heels of female ejaculation being baned in porn in the U.K. added another layer of insult.

The pee vs. #notpee debate isn’t a new one. Sunny Megatron, in a 2014 episode of "Sex with Sunny Megatron," took two samples of her own body fluids - urine and ejaculate (from a squirting orgasm) - to be tested. The results weren’t surprising to fellow squirters: The chemical properties of the two fluids were different. One was clearly urine. One wasn’t quite the same thing.

Other studies contradict the controversial study (that received the most attention) and show that women may have their own version of a prostate gland known as the Skene's gland which produces a fluid that is chemically different from that of urine. Call it wishful thinking on my part, but I’ll take the studies that show proof that (for some women, at least) the fluid we’re squirting in great gushes during orgasm isn’t pee.

My Experience With Squirting Orgasms

My first orgasm (at age 32) was a squirting one. For my entire adult life, I’d held back every climax I might have had - and there weren’t nearly enough of them - because I genuinely thought I was going to urinate on myself and my partner. Imagine my surprise when just a few years ago, I discovered that instead of peeing everywhere, I had the ability to flood my bed with ejaculate instead. These days, they don’t happen every time, and they’re not always as big as they have been in the past. But yes, squirting is possible and no, it’s not urine.

Go Forth and Squirt ... Or Not

You can add squirting orgasms to your bucket list if you want, but do it with the understanding that not every woman squirts. And squirting once doesn’t mean you’ll do it again. The stars, moon, sun, and your body may all have to align perfectly to make it happen - and sometimes that’s just not possible.

If you decide to try this for yourself, stay relaxed and realistic about your results. You are still a sensual, sexual, beautiful person, even if your orgasms are hard to come by and never erupt out of your body like Old Faithful. Whatever type of orgasm you have is a good one. Orgasms, squirting or otherwise, should be a part of your sexual journey, not necessarily the end goal every time. Enjoy the ride and worry less about the destination, especially when it comes to squirting orgasms.