Have you heard of the Grafenberg spot? Maybe you've heard it under its more-popular name: the g-spot? The Grafenberg Spot gets a lot of press for its pleasure potential - and it can become a stress-point for a lot of people who feel frustrated that they haven't been able to discover this feel-good spot on their body.
G-Spot Hunting: How to Find It ... and Its Elusive Orgasm
You might love the g-spot, you might end up hating it, but at the very least, you should give this spot a try at some point. That's what we're here for: to help you and your g-spot sex toy on your hunting mission.
Where Is the G-Spot?
Unlike a lot of pleasure spots (like the external clitoris, the penis, nipples, and more!), the g-spot is located internally. Inside the vagina to be exact - and it's not very easy to see. It can be just as difficult to find - it's challenging to reach your own!
In fact, there has even been some controversy over if there even is a g-spot, although now it is recognized as part of the internal clitoral complex. A specific g-spot roadmap is included below, but essentially, be prepared for some vaginal pleasure in order to hit that g-spot!
(Do you know what other erogenous zone is similar to the g-spot? It's the prostate! Also known as the "p-spot", the prostate can be found inside the butt of people who have a penis.)
How Do I Find the G-Spot?
Turns out, finding the g-spot is a little more complicated than just finding the clitoris - or finding the penis. Hidden from view, it takes a bit more trial and error to locate the g-spot - but the end "results" can really make it worth your while!
So let's explore some pretty simple steps for locating your g-spot:
Step 1: Get Yourself Warmed Up
Especially if you haven't found the g-spot yet, the first step is to be really, really aroused. A lot of things engorge with blood when you're really turned on - and the g-spot tissue is essentially one of them. This engorgement can make the g-spot feel even more pleasurable - and more practically, it makes it much easier to "find".
What "aroused" means is different to everybody, but I know I don't find a ton of g-spot pleasure until at least a half-an-hour of regular physical stimulation. To make the sensation drive me entirely wild, it's generally at least an hour. It's certainly easier said than done to make time for an hour of pleasure even before my "intended" event, but it's always worth it in the end for me.
Step 2: Get Yourself a Sex Toy
Now, we're not just here to sell you on things you don't need, but for g-spot stimulation, almost everyone needs a sex toy. Turns out, hitting the g-spot on your own - with just your hands - is really, really difficult. The g-spot is all up in there towards the belly button inside the vagina. While some people can definitely pretzel themselves enough to hit their g-spot with their own fingers, it's rarely very comfortable - and rarely very sustainable for long periods of time. If your g-spot is even deeper, it might be near-impossible.
That's why a sex toy designed for g-spot pleasure like the Hot Octopuss Kurve is super essential. Sure, it actually does a fantastic job of pleasing the g-spot (which is what we want!), but most importantly, it allows you to easily reach the g-spot in the first place. No awkward pretzeling, no exhausted forearms, none of that business. So having a sex toy designed to hit the g-spot allows you to really hit the g-spot spot - easily! - in the first place.
You're free to try self-stimulation of the g-spot without a sex toy, but we think you'll find that having a dedicated g-spot sex toy is really going to improve your experience. (And please don't try to replace a dedicated g-spot sex toy with any old household item! Only body-safe sex toys should be inserted inside you or your partner!)
Step 3: Find That Spot!
Next up is locating the g-spot. Once you're aroused and have your pleasure tools, you have to "find" the g-spot. This can be frustrating if you're a goal-oriented person, so I find it easier to think of this as a fun, self-exploration activity.
How often do you get to explore uncharted territory - on your own body?! Most of us love exploring a new restaurant. Why not take that same excitement to explore your own body and pleasure centers? You might enjoy this dessert even more than a chocolate mousse cake!
To find the g-spot, insert your fingers or toy into the vagina (which should be all nicely turned on!) with any curved tips towards the belly button - whichever way that's facing. Most g-spot toys will zone right into the spot with zero effort, but if you're using fingers, you might have to experiment with deeper and straighter finger angles.
If you're having problems locating your g-spot, I recommend experimenting with the depth and angle of your sex toy. Push your g-spot vibrator even deeper - or pull it even shallower. While experimenting with depth, experiment with the angle of the vibrator.
Try pushing the base of your g-spot sex toy not "in" - but down or up: towards your tailbone or pulling it towards the front of your body. By changing the angle of the base, you change the angle of the tip, and a bit more pressure on the tip might be exactly what helps you find your g-spot.
If you're using your fingers, you're looking for a part of the vagina that feels a bit different than the rest of the surrounding tissue. It'll feel a bit more puffy - and rougher and less "ribbed" than a lot of the tissue around it. It's about the size of a walnut, so it's not a huge spot, and it's easy to miss if you're still new to finding it - or if you aren't aroused. Since the g-spot really makes its best appearance in a really aroused state, it's really easiest to find when you're desperate for more sexual stimulation.
Some people's g-spot is relatively close to the entrance (those lucky ducks!) while other peope's g-spot is located pretty deep into the vagina - and may be impossible to hit with fingers alone.
Step 4: Go to Town on That Baby
if you've found the g-spot, it's time to pleasure it! If you're used to pleasuring the vaginal entrance and the clitoris, you might be in for a bit of surprise here. The g-spot prefers different types of sensation! (Well, maybe that isn't a surprise. Everything couldn't be too easy, could it?)
Read: 5 Ways to Use a G-Spot Vibrator (That Have Nothing to Do With Your G-Spot)
How to Pleasure the G-Spot?
Once you've located the g-spot, we're going to assume your goal is to get pleasure from it. Hopefully, you've found a bit of pleasure from the process of finding the g-spot. But now that you've found it, you probably want to milk even more pleasure from this erogenous zone. But...how?
A lot of g-spots respond really well to rigid, firm pressure. This is why a lot of g-spot sex toys (like the Hot Octopuss Kurve) are made from rigid, unbending materials - and why your hands can get sore pretty quickly when you try to use just fingers for the job.
G-spot pleasure lovers tend to fall into two camps - micro-thrusting or rocking movements. As a newbie to this sensitive spot, I recommend you give both a try - or maybe even find some other types of stimulation you love!
If micro-thrusting appeals to you, you'll essentially line up the g-spot vibrator with your g-spot - and thrust it against the g-spot, firmly, over and over in small, one-inch thrusts. This intense burst of g-spot pleasure - partnered with consistent removal of it - can be extremely intense.
A rocking motion might also whet your g-spot appetite. Instead of constantly removing the toy from your g-spot, consider a rocking motion against the g-spot. You can move it side-to-side or rock up against the g-spot for heavier pressure mixed in with constant lighter pressure. This rocking can be great for sustained pleasure - especially for people who are exploring blended orgasms or trying to draw out their g-spot experience.
Some people with g-spots also find a lot of pleasure in vibrations. Luckily, a lot of g-spot toys include orgasmic vibrations built right in - just like the Hot Octopuss Kurve. Vibrations can enhance the pleasurable sensations that are already going on - just like vibrations on any other part of the body. Since the g-spot is located inside the vagina, any g-spot vibrations also happen to pleasure the entirety of the vagina. If you already know that you love vibrating dildos inside your body, vibrating your g-spot is just going to be an added bonus!
Read: The 5 Best Sex Positions to Send Your Partner to G-Spot Heaven
How to Achieve G-Spot Orgasms?
Once you've found the g-spot, you can keep pleasuring it until, well, you might orgasm! The above movements can really help - especially if you're already very turned on. To further sensitize your body, you might consider "edging" for a few days ahead of time where you only stimulate yourself to the brink of orgasm - but call it day before you actually achieve orgasm. This can really sensitize your body and make g-spot stimulation (and all stimulation, really!) feel more intense!
If you do have a g-spot orgasm, it may not feel like the previous orgasms that you're used to. Different erogenous zones can change how our orgasms feel - and that's not a bad thing! A lot of people report g-spot orgasms feeling more "full-bodied" or "internally intense" compared to clitoral orgasms - but your experience might be entirely different.
A lot of people can't achieve g-spot orgasms from g-spot stimulation alone. After all, think about it: you're essentially trying to train the brain to orgasm in "weird, new" pathways that it's never tried to orgasm before. That can take time - but until then, the magic of "blended" orgasms can help out.
Blended orgasms are just how they sound - a mixture of different types of stimulation to reach orgasm. If you're used to achieving orgasms from clitoral stimulation, consider adding some clitoral pleasure while you stroke the g-spot. If you prefer anal pleasure or nipple sensations, consider adding those as well. "Blended" orgasms are just a fancy name that we use to describe achieving orgasms from multiple, erogenous zones at once, and they can be a great way to bring g-spot pleasure into your sex life!
Read: I Learned How to Have Blended Orgasms with My Fiance and It Rocked My Whole World
Is G-Spot Pleasure Just Hype?
It depends! That's the thing about blatant, overarching sex advice - everyone's body is different and everyone responds to things differently. Some people literally do fall in love with g-spot pleasure - and can have a hard time thinking of any sex session where g-spot stimulation isn't included!
Other people find their g-spot - but find the sensation to be relatively neutral - leading them to assume they haven't found it yet, that everything about the g-spot is just overblown, or that something is "wrong" with them". There's nothing wrong with being neutral about the g-spot. Every erogenous zone isn't for everyone (and there are plenty of other erogenous zones to explore if you're looking to try new pleasure!)
Of course, other people find the g-spot - and they just downright hate the sensation. It might be too intense, too tickly, or just feel "weird" compared to the stimulation they generally enjoy. That's perfectly okay too!
Everyone's body is unique - g-spot and all! Use the g-spot for added pleasure during sex if you want, but there's reason you "have" to! If your sex life is complete without the g-spot, don't worry about it! And if you want to explore it, well, that's what our articles and toys like the Hot Octopuss Kurve are for!
Mistress Kay has a fondness for all things sexual. With a house that's quickly running out of room for all of her reading and vibrating pleasures, she spends her free time reading, writing, and learning about the sexual universe with her partners. She can be reached at Kinky World.