How to pleasure

How to Knock a Guy’s Socks Off – In Bed

by Kinkly
Published: DECEMBER 8, 2016 | Updated: JANUARY 14, 2022
Fulfilling a man’s needs in the bedroom is fairly simple. You just need to know his sweet spots and be willing to put on a show.

It doesn’t take much to please a guy. Football, food, and daily sex is enough to keep a large percentage of them satisfied for years. Yet, in order to keep a guy satisfied - and I mean truly satisfied - in the bedroom, you have to do a little more than lay there like a dead fish.


"If you know how to use your vaginal muscles while I’m inside of you, I start to think that I may want to marry you," one man told me.

"I think a girl who knows what she's doing and how to move is the best," another said.

Freud called female sexuality "the dark continent." If that’s true, male sexuality could be compared to the sun. That means fulfilling a man’s needs in the bedroom is fairly simple. You just need to know his sweet spots and be willing to put on a show.


After polling multiple men, one thing became clear: a woman who knows what she wants and takes charge in the bedroom is something that instantly turns a dude on.

Want to drive your partner crazy? Here are some of the top things you need to know about men in the bedroom. (Learn other hot sex tips in 9 Sex Moves to Rock a Woman's World.)

They Encourage Fantasies

Men are more than willing to share their fantasies in the bedroom. They just wish you would be more excited to reveal yours. (Get some tips on how to do it right in Talk Dirty to Me: The How and Why of Hot Aural Sex.)


"If you’re into kinky fantasies in your mind then bring that to the bedroom," said Kyle, a man from Philadelphia. "If you want to be tied up, please tell me. If you want to be spanked, ask for it."

If you're going to be speak up, you have to be willing to listen, too. That means not judging your guy’s sexual fantasies. Of course, you can still have limits, but you need to be open and willing to reciprocate.

They Enjoy the Dance

Women should never chase men or buses; neither will stop and wait for you. That's because guys enjoy a good quest. So, play games, tease him a little and keep the fun going outside the bedroom. Great sex is about more than what happens between the sheets. If you want to be good in bed, you have to work to make him desire you everywhere else, too.


They Like It Simple

Women are all about making things "special." That's why we tend to leave the sexy lingerie for his birthday or an anniversary. To a man, though, any night is the perfect time to see you all dolled up in lace!

But if you really want to get him going, skip the confusing clasps, zippers and strings, and slip into something simple and sexy.

"I just like black lace undies. I’ve taken a lot of bras off and I remain terrible at it," said Kyle. "Don’t make me fumble with a confusing, soft contraption with wires and two pieces of plastic."


There’s More to Them Than the Family Jewels

The penis gets all the press, but guys have many other erogenous zones. They just kinda forget to tell you about them sometimes. Gripping a man’s testicles or stroking the perineum, the tender area between the scrotum and anus, are both instant turn-ons. Don’t forget his neck, chest or inner thighs either. (Read more about the start of the show in 10 Things You Don't Know About Penises.)

They Love to Watch

Men are visual creatures, so just watching a woman wear - and remove - something sexy is a huge turn-on.

"Clothing is a big factor for a lot of guys, I think. Don't expect a set of flannel PJs to do the trick - not that we expect you to always walk around in a see through nightie or something...but anything aesthetically pleasing certainly helps," Felix told me.


Next time you’re showering at your guy’s house, leave the door open so he can get a naughty peak. Or give him a night he’ll never forget with a seductive strip tease or lap dance. (Curious about how strippers do it? Check out Why Men Go to Strip Clubs.)

They Appreciate Honesty

Communication is key when it comes to men. Most men really, really, really want to see their partner get off. And if they’re not doing the job, they want to know about it.

If you need your partner to speed things up or slow it down, be sure to tell him. Also take the initiative and tell him where to touch you.

"If you need something, if something is unpleasant or it hurts, you’re obviously not going to get off. I want you to get off at least twice before I do, so direct me if it’s not going exactly your way," said Kyle.

Let him chase you, wear cute underwear, and tell him what you like. Sounds simple enough, right? Of course, every guy is different, so if you really want to blow his mind, ask him to reveal his biggest turn-ons. The rest, of course, is up to you. (For more ultra-hot tips, check out Passionista: The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man.)


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