Private Rubdown Position

Updated: MARCH 14, 2023

Perfect as an introduction to bondage, the Private Rubdown sex position makes it easy to explore restraint with a position that works for back massage -- and seamlessly transitions into penetration, too!

Private Rubdown Sex Position: The receiving partner is laying flat on their stomach on top of a soft surface with their wrists bound above their head. The giving partner straddles them, rubbing their back and aligning the genitals for penetration.

To get into the Private Rubdown, the receiving partner should lay, face down, on top of a flat surface with available restraints (the Bondi is shown). The penetrating partner can then restrain any limbs desired. The penetrating partner then climbs on top of the receiving partner, straddles their hips and can achieve intercourse from behind.

The Private Rubdown gets its name from its unique set-up that combines intercourse, bondage and a back massage (if you so choose!).

More About Private Rubdown Position

As the Private Rubdown lends itself well to a beginner introduction to bondage, we recommend taking the restraining portion slowly. While the position is shown with four restraints -- and the Bondi includes six -- we recommend using only the number of restraints with which you're comfortable. For some couples, that may be a single wrist -- and that's a great place to start! Feel free to stick with your single cuff or build upon that for more bondage next time if you feel comfortable. If you are chronically ill or disabled, the idea of being tied down can trigger a trauma response because many disabled folks have been restrained against their will in medical settings, so be sure to have a lengthy conversation with each other about what that looks and feels like before you attempt this position.

While the Private Rubdown uses restraints to intentionally create a binding feeling, we recommend keeping a bit of slack within the binding strap of whatever restraints you choose to use. Especially with a long massage, muscles can use stretching and movement, and having to readjust the restraints every few minutes to allow the receiver to work out a kink can be bothersome. Instead, leave a bit of slack in the straps that connect the restraints to the bondage point and allow the receiver to move their limbs when needed.

If you'll be taking advantage of the Private Rubdown's placement for a massage, we recommend ensuring the surface you're laying on is a good fit for massage oils or massage candles. Some surfaces may not clean up easily if you spill oil, so ensure you tuck a cover (like the Liberator Throw or some old blankets) underneath the receiver before you get down to business with the Private Rubdown.

The Private Rubdown can work on any flat surface on which receiving partner can lay and where restraints are present. The sex position is shown using the Liberator Bondi board, but it can easily be done on top of a mattress with an Under the Bed Restraint System -- or with any other kinky sex furniture you have in mind! The important part is that you have a flat, comfortable surface in addition to a few restraints.

Using a soft, comfortable surface for this sex position is vital. Not only will the penetrating partner's knees be pressed firmly into the surface, but the penetrating partner's body weight may press the receiver's hips into the surface as well. Experiment with your surface, and feel free to add in pillows and blankets if any particular place is causing discomfort.

The Private Rubdown position is friendly to a variety of bodies. The comfortable laying position can lend itself well to those with limited mobility, wheelchair users or or those with chronic illness or pain. For someone with Cerebral Palsy, Muscular Sclerosis or Muscular Dystrophy, this position as the receiver would be ideal. As the penetrating partner's body weight can still be a pressure point, we recommend open communication to ensure the receiver stays as comfortable as possible throughout the position. Talk a lot about your access needs as you move through this position.

Leaning over of someone, like the penetrating partner in this position, can strain the back over time. Especially if you choose to explore massage within this position, the penetrating partner may be leaning for a long period of time. Communicate with your partner and find ways to alleviate back strain as necessary. The penetrating partner may choose to lay down next to their bound partner for a more comfortable, one-handed massage that focuses more on skin-on-skin contact than deep pressure. You may choose to place the receiving partner on the edge of a bed to allow the penetrating partner to occasionally stand to continue the massage. Experiment with different positions to see what can alleviate any discomfort.

Since this sex position lends itself so well to massage, it must be noted that massage oil should never be used for vaginal sex. Oil-based lubricants can be inhospitable with the vagina -- and oil-based options can also break down your safer sex barriers and make them less effective. Instead, if you'll be transitioning from a massage into vaginal intercourse, simply swap out for a bottle of water-based lubricant.

If penetration isn't on the docket for whatever reason, the Private Rubdown position lends itself well to frottage. The "penetrating" partner is in the perfect position to grind and rub against the soft tissue of the butt. With grinding, the receiver doesn't even need to be unclothed; it can easily still be done while wearing clothing to work within everyone's comfort levels.

While the Private Rubdown is shown with the receiving partner as the bound partner, this position can easily be swapped up by simply making the penetrating partner lay face up within the restraints. This can allow the receiving partner to then climb on top for penetration -- and allows for some hot eye contact too!



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