Have you ever had a great party and then thought about how you could make it even better the next time? (Hey, we've got some Type A people over here, OK?) That's how we feel about Masturbation Month. It's like a party in your pants and, while no one else is invited, we highly recommend putting in the effort to ensure it goes off with a bang.
Of course, the best kind of party is one where you immediately feel comfortable, happy and ready to have fun. When it comes to masturbating, that means getting to know yourself a little better, dropping any self-doubt or shame and setting the stage for a great time.
Hoping to have the best Masturbation Month ever? Here are some expert tips on how to throw an epic self-play party for one.
Forget "Best" Techniques
You probably thought we were going to start out with a top tip for touching yourself, right?
Nope. Here's the thing: You know yourself better than anyone else. And when it comes to masturbating, there's no "right" or "best" way to do it (really!), so follow what makes you feel good.
"The simple pleasure of doing with my body what I like in that moment (which can be very different from one day to to another) – this is what is naturally healthy for body and mind," says Karen Hartmann, a life coach and marketing director at ShoomKloom. "Simply said, how I pleasure myself makes no difference. That I pleasure myself is what makes the difference."
Invest in at Least One Quality Sex Toy
Hands are awesome (and, um, handy), but we highly recommend having a few sex toys around. They provide different sensations, they can be very orgasmic, and they can help move things along a little more quickly (because we know y'all are busy too!)
If you already have sex toys, consider getting something new.
"We get a banal vibrator and assume that we are at the top of the sex toy game, yet so many pleasures remain unexplored," says Alice Wood, sex and relationship coach at fltrgirl. "Do you know that some vibrators heat up, others thrust instead of simply vibrating, and yet others are app-controllable? Have you tried using your Hitachi magic wand with the vast variety of G-spot and P-spot extensions that are on offer in most sex toy stores? Do you already own a hands-free vibrator or a toy the shape of which is fully adjustable to your body’s needs? This Masturbation Month, I suggest we finally invest in new kinds of sensation and maybe give a few of those odd-looking futuristic toys a chance."
Throw Toxic Toys in the Trash
Nothing kills the mood faster than a toy that reeks like paint thinner - or leaves a chemical burn on your junk. Loving yourself means taking good care of your body and paying attention to what goes into it. That includes sex toys. If you have old sex toys made of questionable materials, it's time to level up and get something that's not only safe, but built to provide pleasure for years to come.
"Replace them with medical grade silicone, glass or steel toys and climax happily ever after," Wood says.
Experiment With Lubes
Lube is everything. Unfortunately, it's something we tend to overlook, especially when we're playing solo. Dabbing just a little bit between you and a vibrator (even if you're using it externally) can ensure that the only thing you feel is pure pleasure.
Friction is not a good feeling, and it can leave your skin red, irritated and even raw. Penises don't produce lubrication at all, and many vaginas don't produce enough, at least not all the time. Don't take chances: lube up!
"I always suggest using an all-natural, vegan, hypoallergenic lubricant that is pure and feels amazing. This will make masturbation easier and will free your mind to explore instead of asking, why am I not getting wet?" says Kaylyn Easton, CEO and co-founder of Chiavare personal moisturizer.
You can even use lube to experiment.
"Use both warm and cool lubes for different sensations," say sex educator Ashley Cobb.
Sounds fun, right?
Have a Morning Quickie in the Shower
Orgasms are better than coffee any day, so consider starting your day off right by getting off in the shower. Use a free hand (and lube!!), a waterproof sex toy or the shower head itself. You'll emerge squeaky clean - and maybe singing!
Try a 30-Day Masturbation Challenge
Masturbating might come naturally, but it's also a skill. Plus, orgasming more often helps develop the neural connections that make climax come more easily. Regular orgasms also help strengthen your pelvic floor, reduce stress and boost mood. Give a daily pleasure cruise a try for a month. May is a great time to start!
Remember That Masturbation Is Self-Love
Many people learn that self-touch is dirty or shameful. In fact, our sexualities are a part of who we are and expressing that side of ourselves is natural, normal and healthy. Rather than letting negative thoughts keep you from hopping on the O-train, try to think of masturbation as a way of loving yourself and your body.
"When you masturbate, you're basically telling your body, I love you. I care," says Maranda Elkin, a masterclass educator at the V. Club. "A lot of people still feel shame when they touch themselves but it is nothing to be ashamed of. It's completely normal! "
Try Edging - and Get Better at It
Orgasm is often the goal of self-pleasure, but taking the long way is often the path to the very pinnacle of pleasure. It's called edging and if you've never tried it the good news is that it's actually very simple. Just get yourself close to orgasm, then pull back just before you go over that edge. Repeat as desired. Eventually, orgasm will be inevitable. And, boy, will it be sweet.
Go Forth and ... Celebrate!
As far as we're concerned, it's the most wonderful time of the year. So go forth and celebrate Masturbation Month using these tips - or however you choose. After all, self play is all about you.