Masturbation and solo sex

Your Guide to Choosing (and Using) a Prostate Massager

Published: JANUARY 4, 2024
Want the best prostate massager? It isn't one-size-fits all. The best choice depends on your body, your preferences and your budget.

The pleasure of prostate play has been compared to the orgasmic sensations of G-spot play with the reward of earth-shattering orgasms. Are you ready to experience that for yourself?

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While it can be hard for some people to reach this deep area without help, you know the sex toy industry has answers. (If there's a way to orgasm, someone has crafted a sex toy to help.)

In this case, your answer may lie with a prostate massager. But which one should you get? In this guide, we'll take a look at how to choose the best, most orgasmic prostate massager for you. We'll also tell you everything you need to know to start using it successfully.

Ready? Here we go!

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Read: Top Gifts for Prostate Players

What is a prostate massager?

A prostate massager is an anal toy designed to pleasure the prostate (or "p-spot"). It features a slightly curved tip to hit the prostate when fully inserted with a wide, flat base to anchor the toy outside of the butt for safe play.

In an ideal and magical world, prostate massagers were crafted for hands-free prostate orgasms. Ideally, you'd slide a specially-designed prostate massager up against the prostate, you'd lie in a tight fetal position, and you'd clench the butt muscles around the massager. Do this long enough, and you'd be rewarded with a prostate orgasm!

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You'll notice that I use that word "ideally" a lot. That's because while the hands-free type of massager was the origin story of this category of toys, prostate massagers have extended well past their origin story. Getting these massagers to do their thing didn't work well for everyone - and some people found the work involved to be more like a gym workout than the erotic fantasy they were looking for.

Nowadays, prostate massagers are simply a style of sex toys that are crafted to hit the p-spot in a variety of different ways. They're also designed to be require a lot less work!

While a prostate massager can be just about any shape, these prostate-focused toys tend to be designed to be hands-free, slender in size, and firmer in material.

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They're hands-free because a lot of people exploring p-spot pleasure want to also touch their other favorite erogenous zones (like the penis!).

They're slender because many people looking for a prostate massager are new to anal pleasure in general, and a slender toy makes for a safer experience!

They're firmer in material because the prostate, like the g-spot, responds best to firm pressure and rubbing. This rigid materials help ensure the toy can best stimulate the p-spot - which is what you wanted in the first place, right?

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Read: Your Ultimate Guide to Anal Masturbation

About the Prostate

What is this spot that we're trying to hard to pleasure? Why do we even care?

This small, walnut-sized spot is typically located inside the body of penis owners, directly underneath the bladder. As it's nicely buried inside the body, the most direct way to stimulate it is through the wall of the rectum.

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Male sexual anatomy, internal side view, showing prostate, penis, testis, anus, scrotum

And that, my friends, is how prostate massagers came to be. These toys slide into the bum with their targeted tips resting up against the prostate to take the stress and guesswork out of finding a way to touch your prostate.

Why would we want to touch it? Well, turns out, the prostate, also referred to as the p-spot when we're talking about sex, is covered in nerve endings. Those nerve endings can be extremely orgasmic for some (though it's worth noting that some people find their first prostate experiences to feel "weird" instead of "orgasmic".)

Science also postulates that, because the prostate plays a role in producing semen, touching this nerve-packed area can make penile orgasms feel even more intense as well.

Essentially, it's another spot on your body that offers the potential for a lot of pleasure within a small spot. More pleasure means more pleasure - and that's probably why a lot of people choose to go on a prostate adventure!

Some prostate owners also find that they can enjoy multiple orgasms with protate stimulation. Since the penis isn't part of the picture, recovery time can be lower, and some prostate players try for multiple orgasms in a row with this innermost spot.

(Fun fact from WebMD: "Penile orgasms are associated with 4-8 pelvic contractions, while prostatic massage orgasms are associated with 12.")

Biologically-speaking, this gland provides the fluid that helps protect the sperm for fertilization into a trip into the acidic environment of the vagina. (It also helps add some of the propulsion you may enjoy during ejaculation!)

You can get the full, sex dictionary-ready definition of the prostate here.

Read: The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Milking

How is a prostate massager different from a dildo?

A prostate massager is designed to stay inside the body for hands-free use. A dildo is crafted to be constantly held in your hand to move it in and out of the body.

A prostate massager is a "set it and forget it" toy. A dildo is a toy that you're expected to interact with.

Honestly, bam: that's it. That's how they're different.

Prostate massagers also tend to be thinner in diameter than many dildos. This can make them much-more-approachable to people who have never tried anything anal-related before. (The promise of more powerful orgasms can be a pretty big draw to try something new!)

Both anal-safe dildos (not all dildos can go in the bum!) and prostate massagers will feature a flared base that helps anchor the toy outside of the body.

Dildos are a great choice if you're looking for lots of in-and-out thrusting with a toy that has a bit of plushness and fullness to it. However, dildos require a hand to use them, so you'll be down a hand when it comes to touching and exploring your other erogenous zones (like stroking the penis!).

Prostate massagers are a great choice if you're looking for additional erotic stimulation, but you'd prefer to keep both of your hands available for other activities. In the past, you had to rely on contracting your muscles to move the prostate massager around, but fancy new rotating prostate massagers now offer continual stimulation without active muscle engagement on your part. You can enjoy touching other parts of your body while the prostate massager adds even more pleasure without you having to do a thing!

Neither dildos nor prostate massagers will stay in the body if you start moving around (like doing jumping jacks, walking, or having intercourse with a partner). If that's your end goal, you probably want a butt plug instead. Many of those are crafted with active body movement in mind.

How to Give the Best Prostate Massage

Using a sex toy makes it easier than ever to hit your prostate. The unique, deep-inside angle of the prostate can be difficult to hit with fingers alone, but when you add a toy, you eliminate your arm's limited range!

However, a prostate massager isn't a one-stop-shop to success. Just like hitting the G-spot, every person's prostate is different, and your prostate will probably respond to pleasure differently than someone else's prostate. This can make it a bit of a "journey" to discover those toe-curling p-spot orgasms that you've read about!

For an abbreviated guide, though, to get you started on the right foot, you'll want to:

Ensure You're Turned On: It is much, much, much easier to hit the prostate if you're turned on. All of that increased blood flow makes the prostate larger and easier to find and makes it more sensitive too! Before you go into any prostate-exploring sessions, try to ensure you're really turned on and craving the feel of a prostate massage.

Use Lube: As with anything anal, lube is a must-have. Ensure any fingers or prostate massagers are thoroughly coated in lubricant before sliding them in any orifices.

Gently Stretch the Area: Any erogenous zone responds well to a little tease. Just like some light, through-the-pants rubs can make sliding into a penis stroker feel so much better, using your finger to slip around the anal entrance or slide in just the tip can make the prostate massager feel so much better.

Slide the Prostate In Slowly: Continuing with that tease, a slow insertion can feel deliciously erotic while simultaneously ensuring you have safe, pain-free anal play. It's a win-win!

Experiment with Angles: Once the prostate massager is fully slid into the body, experiment with different angles. Use your hand on the base of the prostate massager to gently push it in different angles while it's inside the body. Try pushing the tip towards or away from your belly button. Firmly grasp the base and pull it out or push it in a bit to continue those angle explorations.

Experiment with Positions: While you can physically move the prostate massager around (like we just did!), you can also change how the prostate massager feels by moving you! Lying on your side with your legs pulled up offers different sensations than lying on your back with your legs flat. Try some receiving-partner G-spot sex positions or p-spot sex positions to get some idea of what sex positions best "reveal" the prostate for easy stimulation. You'll probably love some more than others.

Experiment With the Toy's Functions: So far, you've just let the toy sit. If your prostate massager is equipped with features like vibrations, a rotating tip or a prostate-stroking bead, you should also play with those. You may find that your body loves vibrations most when you're lying flat, but if you curl up into a ball, that rotating tip drives you wild.

Add Other Sensation: I know, I know: everyone touts the magical "hands-free prostate orgasm", but this shouldn't be your goal, especially not when you're starting. Your body is learning to add brand, new sensations to its orgasm toolbox, and it may not know what to do with them. Instead, add those orgasmic prostate massager sensations to the stimulation you already enjoy, like nipple play, penis stroking, oral sex, partnered sex, or anything else! These blended orgasms will help "train" your brain while making your orgasms feel really powerful at the same time!

Read: How to Massage Your Prostate Using a Sex Toy

Prostate Massager Types

While all prostate massagers are crafted to hit that innermost spot, they come with different primary features that can make them easier to categorize.

Vibrating Prostate Massagers

We-Vibe Vector+ in Royal Blue | Kinkly ShopPictured: We-Vibe Vector+

Shortly after prostate massagers were invented, I'm pretty sure someone threw a vibrating motor in one.

Vibrating prostate massagers are still around, and they're the most-popular special feature you'll find in a prostate massager. That's because they're relatively affordable, aren't overly complicated, and still offer quite a bit of orgasmic potential.

Nowadays, you might find multiple motors within your prostate massager to hit the best spots. Commonly, you'll enjoy a motor in the base of the toy (to pleasure the anal entrance or perineum) and a motor in the tip of the toy to best hit the prostate.

Rotating Prostate Massagers

Nexus Revo Embrace Prostate MassagerPictured: Nexus Revo Embrace

A relative newcomer to the world of prostate massagers, rotating prostate massagers feature a rotating tip at the end of the insertable massager shaft. Once the massager is slid in place, this rotating tip does (literal) circles on the prostate, simulating a back-and-forth finger rub on this super-sensitive spot.

That ultra-fancy tech comes with a downside, though: it's relatively expensive. While it's getting more affordable by the day, you can expect to pay more for a rotating experience. It does, however, make up for it in pleasure with a design that's constantly moving against the prostate, without requiring you to lift a finger.

Stroking Prostate Massagers

GIF showcasing the LELO Loki Wave being held in someone's hands. The toy's come hither motion is activated, and the insertable shaft rocks back and forth towards the external vibrator end. | Kinkly ShopPictured: LELO LOKI WaveInstead of rotations, a stroking prostate massager features a small, robotic "bead" in the tip of the massager or a full-shaft mechanism. When fully inserted, this causes the shaft to move up and down against the prostate, mimicking a finger stroking up and down against the prostate.

Without the need to twist the entire tip of the massager, these advanced prostate massagers are usually lower in price. However, they still offer automated prostate stroking without the wearer lifting a finger - just on a smaller scale.

Handheld Prostate Massagers

GIF of the Nexus Thrust. It shows the thrusting motion of the tip of the Nexus Thrust. The text on the GIF reads: "3 thrusting speeds. Slow, medium, fast vibrations." | Kinkly ShopPictured: Nexus Thrust

While prostate massagers are specifically crafted for hands-free use, some people find that they're hand-holding their massager anyway. They have a specific cadence or sensation they like to feel, so they end up grabbing hold of their massager's base to move it around.

Rather than let those people continue to use a subpar gripping point, an entire category of handheld prostate massagers was created.

These handheld prostate massagers offer an easy-to-grip handle to shove the tip of the prostate toy exactly where it's wanted.

Best of all, this handled design can also be really attractive and simple to use for partners, making it an easy way to explore prostate massage with a lover.

Tips for Choosing a Prostate Massager

Ready to get a prostate massager of your own? The key to getting the best prostate massager is to find the best prostate massager for you. Here are are some steps to help you make the right choice based on your body, desires, preferences and budget.

Start With Size

A prostate massager can only do its job if it can slide inside the body. If your massager is too thick and causes pain, that's probably going to make it difficult to focus on the pleasurable aspects.

That's why I'd recommend "size" as the first factor to narrow down your prostate massager choices.

If you've never, ever slid anything inside the bum, look for a prostate massager with a diameter of less than 0.75".

If you've inserted fingers into your anus before, use your fingers as a guide. Measure how thick your fingers are, and make an educated guess as to how that may translate to a cylindrical object (instead of the flatter width of two fingers side-by-side). If you're comfortable with two fingers, a diameter around 1" to 1.25" may be a good fit for you.

If you're stuck between sizes, err towards getting a smaller toy. It's better to have something that's slightly underwhelming than something that's so large that you end up with dangerous anal microtears.

Look at the Tip

Do you know where your prostate is? If so, your next step is to look at the shape and length of the prostate massager's shaft. Will this hit your prostate? Is it too deep or too shallow?

While prostate massagers are designed to hit the prostate, a manufacturer has to design them to hit a generic prostate. All of our bodies are slightly different, and your prostate may be slightly deeper and to the left! If you happen to know that about yourself, take that into account before purchasing a prostate massager.

If you don't know where your p-spot is, you have a few options.

You can try out different prostate massagers and see which one feels most pleasurable to you. You can also pick up a bendable dildo and get to experimenting. The Fun Factory Limba Flex offers a bendable shaft and tip. Bend the dildo into a shape, slip it into the body, experiment with angles to see if you can get it to hit the prostate, and then rinse and repeat. You can get some good data about your own body to help you figure out where your prostate is located and how broad it is. This can help you select prostate stimulators in the future.

Remember Your Budget

Buying a prostate massager does, after all, require money. If you have a budget for this purchase, it's probably time to narrow down your options based on what you have available to spend.

Especially if your toy doesn't have a motor, it may be worth saving up to get what you want instead of taking a cheaper alternative that you're not thrilled with. Some sex toys without a motor can last you (literally!) decades with proper care, so saving up for a few months to get the one you really want can be a win here.

If you're worried about splurging on a toy that has a motor in it, pay attention to the manufacturer's warranty. Most manufacturers will offer a warranty that extends beyond the retailer's return policy, and those warranties are usually for one to two years. (A few manufacturers offer extremely long warranties, though, like Satisfyer's 15-year warranty or Evolved's five-year warranty!)

A manufacturer's warranty can help you exchange the toy if any manufacturing defect causes it to kick out on you too soon. Just make sure to keep your receipt if you ever need to make a claim!

Select Your Special Features

Now you're left with toys that are slender enough for you and within your budget. It's time to judge their special features.

Especially if you have a higher budget, you might find that some of your options offer vibrations, rotations or stroking. You can read more about these different types below, but you might find that you lean more towards one type of stimulation over another.

In general, if you're trying to have prostate orgasms, you may find that rotations or stroking give more of the rubbing sensations you need to help make that happen. That advanced technology, though, tends to come with a higher price.

Judge the Base

Now that you've narrowed down the best prostate massagers for you, we're nit-picking to make it down to our final contestants. In this case, let's look over the base.

While the insertable shaft of a prostate massager is where the "money" is, the base matters too. The base of the massager may offer perineum stimulation with a powerful vibrating motor and textured surface. It also might have a looped handle to make it easier to handle and maneuver the massager.

It all depends on how you think you might want to use your p-spot stimulator. If you know you want to lie back and enjoy hands-free sensations, you might want to find a base that adds extra stimulation. If you think you'll be gripping the base of the massager to move it around often, you might prioritize a base that looks easy to wiggle around.

Finally, Read the Reviews

You've finally narrowed down your options to a final few prostate massagers. Now that you're here, you may want to read reviews of the products you're considering. This can help you understand the coolest things - and the flaws - about your potential prostate massager.

You may also find out some quirks about the massager - like it comes fully discharged and requires a four-hour charging session before you can use it for the first time. That may not be a dealbreaker, but it certainly would be something to know before you start stripping off clothes to try your massager the moment it arrives at your door!

Best Prostate Massagers

Still not sure which prostate massager to choose? Here are some of the best prostate massagers depending on your needs. These are massagers we and shoppers at Kinkly Shop love and stand behind!

Best Prostate Massager for Beginners


GIF shows the Nexus Revo Slim Rotating Prostate Massager rotating tip going in circles. Caption text reads "Bi Rotational Shaft, 2 Speeds for a Firm Prostate Massage" | Kinkly Shop

Looking for your first prostate massager? As long as you've been able to take two fingers previously, the Nexus Revo Slim might be the explosive massager experience you're looking for. With a slender 1.1" shaft at the widest point, this remote-controlled prostate massager offers a feature-packed experience for beginners. The specially-crafted, rotating tip does all that prostate stroking for you, while the base's six vibration modes pleasure the anal entrance and your perineum. It all comes together with a super-slender shaft that's easy for most people new to prostate pleasure to slip inside. (And don't forget that remote if you want to share this new experience with a partner!)

Best Prostate Massager for Online Play


The Lovense Edge 2 sits next to a cell phone. The cell phone is opened to the Lovense app that allows the user to control the functionality of the Lovense Edge 2. | Kinkly Shop

If you know you want to try the best teledildonics the industry offers, you probably want to spoil your prostate with the Lovense Edge 2. Not only does the massager offer a bendable design to hit your unique prostate, but it also pairs wirelessly with a free cell phone app to unlock a whole lot of ways to play. Enjoy hands-free control of your own vibe, or offer control of your Edge 2 to anyone with the app and an internet connection. Synchronize it to your favorite music, or create your own vibrating patterns to drive you wild. It's entirely up to you.

Best Prostate Massager for Size Lovers


GIF of the Nexus Revo Extreme. Close-up on the tip of the prostate massager. It is rotating one way and then it stops and rotates the opposite way. The text on the GIF reads "Bi rotational shaft. 2 speeds for a firm prostate massage." | Kinkly Shop

Always eyeing the biggest toys? The Nexus Revo Extreme is probably the best prostate massager for you! Its 2.13" diameter (!!!) is gigantic in the world of prostate massagers. As if that wasn't enough, the Revo Extreme features a rotating tip to hit every inch of your prostate with a girth this huge! Best of all, the rotations of the tip cause the vibrating perineum base to continually press up against the prostate from the outside, hitting that innermost spot from every angle.

Best Prostate Massager on a Budget


Nexus Glide | Kinkly Shop

Want to explore this new erogenous zone without feeling guilty if it isn't for you? I'd recommend the Nexus Glide. Still crafted by the same manufacturer famous for award-winning p-spot toys, the Nexus Glide removes all of the fancy bells and whistles for a price point that's leagues below most massagers.

Best of all, it's made from a rigid polypropylene material, which allows for firm pressure against the prostate. The wide base makes it easy for handling if you want to manually rock this massager up against your spot!

Best Prostate Massager for Blended Orgasms


GIF of the Nexus Simul8 - Stroker Edition. It shows the stroking bead in the Simul8 Stroker moving up and down to stimulate the prostate. The text on the GIF reads: "Unique stroker technology. 5 stroker speeds." | Kinkly Shop

A few prostate massagers offer multi-zone stimulation, and the Nexus Simul8 Stroker Edition is one of the best. Equipped with two vibrating cock rings and a perfectly-placed perineum motor, the Nexus Simul8 Stroker Edition pleasures the penis, balls, perineum and prostate - all at the same time! Best of all, the tip of this massager features a stroking prostate ball that rubs the p-spot, up and down, while the base's vibrations pleasure the rest of your package. If you want more than just p-spot pleasure, this might be the best prostate massager for you.

Best Prostate Massager for Electrosex Play

Mystim Big Bend-It - Kinkly Shop

Are you in love with electrosex stimulation? If so, you can take those same sensations and bring them inside the body with the Mystim Big Bend-It. This bendable prostate massager plugs into your electrosex powerbox to bring an electrifying experience to the bedroom. Use those e-stim pulses to create effortless muscle contractions for explosive p-spot pleasure without lifting a finger.

Looking to add other types of prostate play to your sexual repertoire? Check out The Best Sex Positions for Prostate Orgasm.

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Mistress Kay

Mistress Kay has a fondness for all things sexual. With a house that's quickly running out of room for all of her reading and vibrating pleasures, she spends her free time reading, writing, and learning about the sexual universe with her partners. She can be reached at Kinky World.

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