Holiday Gift Guide: Top Sex-Positive Gifts (Not Just Sex Toys!)

Published: DECEMBER 13, 2022
Do you like sex? Know someone who does? We're willing to bet there are tons of people on your list who could use one of these sex-positive holiday gifts!

‘Tis the season to be jolly!

From blindfolds and weighted blankets to coffee table books and online shibari classes, here’s our list of everything we want this holiday season. Of course, we checked it twice. That said, we don’t care if you were naughty or nice.


Behold, the 16 best sex-positive gifts to shop right now:

1. "Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto" by Zachary Zane (comes out May 9, 2023)

From Boyslut Zine founder and weekly “Sexplain It” sex and relationship columnist at "Men’s Health" comes "Boyslut": a series of essays that explores the author’s coming-of-age and coming out as a bisexual man and brazen sexual being.

Preorder: $26 at Amazon.

2. Service Switch Harness

Harnesses are having a moment, with celebrities like Lil Nas X and Michael B. Jordan wearing them at mainstream events. Chicago-based leatherworker Emma Alamo creates custom leather harnesses for fashion and function for femmes and queers of all body types. This particular harness is a beauty, handmade with your choice of leather and solid brass hardware.

Buy: $147 and up at Emma Alamo.

3. Uterus Clutch

If you support body autonomy for people with vulvas, you'll love this fierce vinyl clutch designed by Julie Mollo, designer and stylist for Katy Perry. This exclusive collaboration (meaning you can only get it at Babeland) is a glittery delight, handmade in Brooklyn, NY, with Mollo's signature "XOXO" zipper.

Buy: $32 at Babeland.

4. "100 Flirty & Dirty Sex Questions: Prompts to Spark Conversation & Exploration" by Petunia B.

Spice up your sex life with this inclusive deck of titillating sex-positive questions. From anal play to oral sex, BDSM and sex toys, these cards will spark thought-provoking conversations and new sexual adventures for people of all sexual orientations and gender identities.

Buy: $14.95 at Amazon.

5. Online Shibari Classes

Whether you want to get tied up solo, alongside a partner or even a platonic friend, Shibari Study offers step-by-step courses for all skill levels on its subscription-based platform.


Buy: $25 for a one-month gift card.

6. Sex Toy Cleaner

If you want your sex toys to last, you need to take care of them -- right after the deed is done. Nobody wants a yeast, bacterial infection or STI from a dirty toy, so give your body -- and sex toys -- the love and care they deserve.

Buy: $7.95 at Pinkcherry.

7. Body & Intimacy Serum

This luxe product multitasks as a lubricant, body serum and massage oil. Founded by intimacy expert Brittany Lo, this serum is made for self-care, pleasure and all of your sensitive parts.

Buy: $31.50 at Beia.

8. Handwoven Scarf

Trans adult performer Trip Richards channels dreamy desert hues in his handwoven goods. His Etsy shop restocks most Saturday mornings and sells out in a blink, so set a reminder and snag one of his woven beauties.

Buy: $79 and up at WolfHeadWeaving.

9. "101 Kinky Things Even You Can Do" by Kate Sloan

Whether you’re a seasoned kinkster or a curious pleasure-seeker, Kate Sloan makes kink accessible to all in this gorgeously-illustrated sex positive book.

Buy: $19.98 at

10. Pliia Love Mat

Let’s face it, nobody likes sleeping in the dreaded wet spot. If you’re someone who tends to make a menstrual or ejaculatory mess, this gorgeous blanket is your sexy time savior. It comes in two shapes and a slew of soothing colors and patterns to match interior design style or mood. Plus, it will save you from doing loads of laundry, and who doesn't love that?

Buy: $129 at Pliia.

11. "The Heart of the Dominatrix: Portraits and Interviews of Exceptional Mistresses" By Inanna Justice

This beautiful coffee table book is a compilation of interviews and photos of 21 Dominatrices from around the world, each one a specialist in her domain (hypnosis, role play, human equine training, chastity and many more).

Buy: $61.01 at Amazon


12. BLOW Lubricant

From the person who brought butt masks to the world, we now have BLOW, a USDA certified organic, full-spectrum CBD + CBG oral (edible) lubricant. Warm a few drops up in your hands or place a few drops on your tongue -- there are so many possibilities for pleasure.

Buy: $69.00 at Bawdy.

READ: 7 Ways to Use Lube (Including CBD Lube) for the Best Masturbation Ever.

13. Blackout Eye Mask

Slip a blindfold over your eyes and feel your senses heighten as your partner teases and takes control of your pleasure. Then, take submission one step further by adding wrist restraints to the sexy mix.

Buy: $18 at Babeland.

14. Santal Massage Oil Candle

The Santal smells intoxicatingly delicious (think smoky leather, sandalwood, lemon and cardamom), and when the warm oil hits your partner’s body, it feels divine. This candle multitasks as a pretty bedside addition or massage must-have. Bonus: It burns up to 32 hours.

Buy: $24.99 at JimmyJane

15. Sephora eGift Card

Fragrance, makeup, skincare and hair products are thoughtful gifts for women, men, gender-fluid and transitioning friends. Looking and feeling good is for everyone!

Buy: Any amount at Sephora

16. A Weighted Blanket

Weighted blankets are all the rage for stress relief and their ability to improve sleep. One lesser-known benefit? They’re really helpful in providing subspace recovery for post-BDSM play. The euphoric feeling of such play can be intense and a weighted blanket can help with the winding down process.


Buy: Online or in stores, but check the weight rating.


And there you have it! Sixteen sex-positive gifts to make this season a little more joyful.

(See -- you can celebrate intimacy and pleasure without gifting a sex toy! But if that's what you're looking for, find the right one for you with the help of Kinkly's sex toy gift guides.)

Happy holidays!

Photo for Ryn Pfeuffer
Ryn Pfeuffer

Ryn Pfeuffer is a versatile print and digital writer specializing in sex, lifestyle, and relationship topics. Over the past two decades, her work has appeared in more than 100 media outlets including Marie Claire, Playboy, Refinery29, The Globe and Mail, The Washington Post, WIRED, and Thrillist.

She adopted a pseudonym and was AVN’s (Adult Video Network) first female porn reviewer – while penning children’s books at the same time. More recently, she is the author of 101 Ways to Rock Online Dating (2019). She lives in Seattle with her rescue dog, Mimi. You can find her on Twitter @rynpfeuffer or IG @ryn_says