Sex toy gift guides

20 Sex-Positive Gifts That Aren’t Sex Toys

Published: NOVEMBER 28, 2023
Do you like sex? Know someone who does? We're willing to bet there are tons of people on your list who could use one of these sex-positive holiday gifts!

Got a sex positive friend or family member you'd like to honor but don't want to buy them a sex toy? Just want a little sex-positive present for yourself? We've got you covered.


From kinky calendars and vulva tea candle sets to Pride flags and erotic art prints, here's our list of everything we want this holiday season.

We checked it twice.

We don't care if you were naughty or nice.

Behold, the 20 best sex-positive gifts to shop right now:



$8.33/month for 12 banner of two people kissing in a hot springImage: LusterySay goodbye to staged scenes and hello to real, relatable couples sharing their unfiltered love stories with Lustery. Crafted by pornographer, author and sex performer Paulita Pappel, Lustery helps couples eager to reignite desire or spark candid conversations about intimacy. Consider it a journey into the genuine, the personal and the deeply human side of intimacy. As far as adult content goes, it's also ethical and affordable.

Queer Kink Wall Calendar


Queer Kink Calendar for 2024 Image: Etsy Embrace the vibrant diversity of queerness with the Queer Kink Wall Calendar. Featuring 12 empowering illustrations, this A4-sized calendar celebrates various body shapes, identities and disabilities. Each month unfolds a unique theme, accompanied by a minimalist calendar for personal events. Get creative – color the pages as you wish! Hang it securely with a small picture hook or convenient command hook. Celebrate queerness all year round with this inclusive and customizable calendar.


"The Big Reveal: An Illustrated Manifesto of Drag"

$45.00Cover of The Big Reveal: An Illustrated Manifesto of Drag
Sasha Velour's "The Big Reveal" is more than a book - it's a living portrait that seamlessly weaves together memoir, history and theory to illuminate the art of drag. Velour explores drag's unique expression, rich history and revolutionary essence with captivating illustrations, photos and original artwork. Each chapter peels back the layers of both her personal journey and the global queer history that made it all possible. From the empresses of the past to the cultural phenomenon of "RuPaul's Drag Race," Velour's book offers a thought-provoking manifesto that deepens our understanding of queerness, beauty and liberation.

Vulva Tea Candle Set

set of vulva shaped tea candles in heart-shaped containersSource: Puss N Toots Indulge your senses with this set of five citrus-scented vulva tea candles. Treat yourself to the refreshing aroma of real lemon and orange peels steeped in candle wax. Watch as the wax, when melted, elegantly shimmers. Each candle boasts a two-hour burn time, providing a sensual, fragrant experience.

Sugar Wood Pink Party Box



Box full of penis and vulva shaped waffles with two sauces, one pink, one brownSource: Sugar WoodStraight from the heart of Prince Street in New York City, Sugar Wood offers an inclusive, sex-positive dessert experience perfect for any celebration. The Pink Party Box features six waffles shaped like a "woody" or a "kitty" (you can mix and match to your heart's content), plus two signature sauces for drizzling. Waffles are a universally adored treat, and these delicious sweets-on-a-stick are custom-made for a whopping 10 days of peak deliciousness after receipt.

"The Big Book of Queer Stickers"

$27.07Spread LGBTQIA+ pride joyfully with "The Big Book of Queer Stickers" by Ashley Molessa and Chess Needham. This deluxe hardcover book offers more than 500 stickers, including two bonus sheets of holographic designs. Created by Ash + Chess, a queer and trans stationery brand, this collection is a colorful celebration of queer pride. Plus, you'll find blank pages at the back for journaling, doodling, or crafting personalized sticker designs.

Support Sex Workers Beanie

$27.65A black beanie that says support sex workers on the front in white textSource: EtsyStand up for sex workers' rights with this Support Sex Workers beanie. Sex workers deserve equal legal protections, access to healthcare, and freedom from violence and discrimination. Decriminalization can help bring them out of the shadows, offering protection rather than targeting. This unisex, snug-fitting beanie is a simple, yet powerful, accessory to show your support.



$34.00 and up
Person wearing sex, fishnet like lacy bodysuit in blueImage: LEAK Discover LEAK, a brand reshaping gender-neutral corsetry, harnesses and bodysuits. Founded by Louis Dorantes and led by creative director Sebastian Hernandez, this Brooklyn-based lingerie workshop fuses premium materials, exquisite craftsmanship and sex positivity. LEAK offers custom pieces and small-batch productions for all sizes and gender identities. Inspired by dance floor aesthetics, they redefine lingerie as clubwear, with their signature bodysuits leading the way.

Boundaries Conversation Deck: What Would You Do?

Elevate your boundary-setting skills with the Boundaries Conversation Deck, a 52-card deck, created by Faith G. Harper, a sexologist and professional counselor. Crafted as a companion to the book "Unfuck Your Boundaries," these cards spark thought-provoking conversations about your needs, consent, boundaries and relationships. Whether used for personal growth or in a therapeutic context, these cards provide an engaging tool for exploring boundaries beyond the usual.

Sophia Wallace Unconquerable Necklace

$1,320.00Vulva shaped pendant on a gold chain by Sophia WallaceImage: CliteracyIntroducing the latest Unconquerable necklace collection from Sophia Wallace, artist and creator of the Cliteracy project, now meticulously crafted in solid 14k gold. These stunning heirloom pieces are offered in rose, yellow and white gold variations, with the option to enhance the pendant with a deep aqua sapphire. This necklace isn't just beautiful, it's a statement about pleasure - and its power.


Googly Eye Pasties


Breast pasties that look like Googly eyes and glow in the darkImage: Early2bed Step up your bedroom adventures with a touch of whimsy using these glow-in-the-dark Googly Eye Pasties. These high-quality pasties not only add a playful element to whatever you're up to, they're also practical (as far as pasties go!) With easy-to-use adhesive backs, they offer secure attachment and effortless removal, making your experience worry-free and so much fun.

Betty Dodson Vulva Rug

$275.00Round rug in purples and maroons that looks like a vulvaImage: EtsyIndulge in a celebration of self-love and empowerment with this exclusive Vulva Rug, a tribute to the iconic self-portrait of Betty Dodson, the revered American sex educator, artist and author. Crafted with precision and care by Lakota, a Bodysex leader, each rug comes with a certificate of authenticity. After all, it's a one-of-a-kind masterpiece honoring self-love, empowerment and Betty Dodson's enduring legacy.

You Are Loved Pride Flag

$35.00Flag with Pride rainbow and You Are Loved written in the middle with flowersImage: EtsyTransform your outdoor space with this vibrant "You Are Loved" Pride Flag. Created by Rae (aka Transpainter), the mastermind behind the "You Are Loved" billboards that have graced highways nationwide, this flag radiates love and inclusivity right in your own backyard. Adorned with cheerful illustrated flowers, it's a lightweight and durable addition to your outdoor decor. Show your pride and spread the love with this colorful flag!

The Original Aid and Abet Abortion Tee

$25.00White T-Shirt that says I Will Aid and Abet AbortionImage: Shout Your AbortionSupporting abortion access is a community responsibility. Abortion pills and networks like abortion funds ensure safe and legal options. Wear this shirt to show your support for those facing challenges to this essential right.

JO Tri-Me Triple Pack Classic


3 pack of JO lube including All In One, H20 and Juicy PineappleImage: JO
JO Tri-Me Triple Packs gives you a little bit of everything when it comes to some of this lube maker's best formulas. More lube always makes things better, and JO's formulas are known for high-quality ingredients as well as fun flavors. This Classic Try-Me Triple Packs includes All-In-One Sensual Massage Glide, a premium silicone-based massage formula; H2O Original, a quality, water-based lube; and delicious H2O Juicy Pineapple.

EaZyHold Adult 5 Pack - Universal Cuff, Silicone Adaptive Grip Aid

A pen, a brush, a toothbrush, a knife and a fork all with an EazyHold Univeral Cuff attached.Image: EazyHold Meet EaZyHold, a game-changer for accessibility! Designed for those with grip issues or limb differences, this adaptable and comfortable tool ensures a secure hold on objects, including slippery ones. Perfect for enhancing your grip on vibrators, insertables, toys and remotes when your grasp is compromised, EaZyHold makes intimacy - and everyday tasks - more accessible and enjoyable for everyone.

Self Love Is Resistance Tote Bag


Black tote bag with white text that reads Self Love Is ResistanceImage: Etsy Empower your daily routine with the "Self Love is Resistance" tote bag, a vibrant affirmation and gentle reminder to prioritize self care. This black tote, adorned with light blue, green, or pink lettering, is both stylish and sturdy. Carry your essentials with confidence and embrace the resistance of self-love wherever you go.

Erotic Art Prints

$14.15 and upSelection of erotic art printsImage: EtsyDiscover the artful world of a self-taught linocut printmaker hailing from Gloucester, United Kingdom. This talented artist adds a daring touch of sex positivity and nudity to the traditional craft, creating original linocut prints that celebrate the beauty of the human form. From fishnets to fucking and fingering, each erotic expression is a celebration of the sensual and sex-positive aspects of the human experience.

Srirachas Yoga Pants

$80.00Woman wearing black yoga pantsImage: SrirachasAdd a dash of spice to your love life with Srirachas Yoga Pants, hailed as "Yoga Pants Made for Sex." These pants offer discreet access in the crotch, combining comfort and sensuality for cozy moments or intimate rendezvous. Perfect for at-home relaxation or a date night surprise, they keep the spicy secret hidden beneath a flattering fit and comfy fabric.



Cover of He She They by Schuyler BailarImage caption
Amid a surge in anti-transgender legislation across the United States, Schuyler Bailar's "He/She/They" offers a compassionate and factual guide. Covering crucial topics from the non-choice nature of being transgender to the importance of preferred pronouns, this narrative dispels myths and restores humanity to the discussion. Schuyler's journey, from the Harvard men's swim team to transgender advocate, provides relatable education and fosters understanding. More than an allyship guide, "He/She/They" speaks directly to trans individuals, celebrating radical joy and changing the conversation about gender, making it a vital, life-changing read.

Ryn Pfeuffer

Ryn Pfeuffer is a versatile print and digital writer specializing in sex, lifestyle, and relationship topics. She got her start in the mid-90s at the Philadelphia Weekly, managing a 10-page section of the newspaper and more than 500 lonely hearts.Her professional stock skyrocketed when she started writing a saucy (and pre-Carrie-Bradshaw-era) dating advice column called “Ask Me Anything.” She appeared regularly on local radio stations and late-night TV as an expert on everything from grooming...

Latest Sex Positions