Read: Why Edging and Orgasm Control Make for Great Long-Distance Play
The Freedom to Masturbate ... but With Rules
Several months after we first moved in together, I noticed a strange phenomenon - and I didn’t like it. We didn’t masturbate anymore. Alone, together, nothing. I review sex toys. I host Masturbation Monday. How could I not masturbate?!
Because he controls my orgasms, this wasn’t a decision I could make unilaterally. We had to discuss it first. Thankfully, he is supportive of what I do - online and with my body. He had no problem adding more masturbation. But there would be rules:
- I had to tell him all the details of what I did.
- I didn’t have to ask, but I did need to let him know before I masturbated or as soon as possible after.
Those don’t sound like strict rules, but to be effective, they don’t have to be. I always let him know before I pull out a vibrator or get naked. And he gets every detail - good and bad. Truly, though, I prefer to masturbate when he’s right there with me. Old habits die hard. It’s not long until he’s guiding me, or I’m begging for permission to come.
Now that masturbation is a part of our kinky sex life again, it’s very difficult for me to do it any other way. Sure, when I travel by myself, I can masturbate. Sometimes I do - if I really need to relax. But I don’t want to. I’d much rather have him and our kinky roles as part of the fun.