Edging Orgasms and Verbal Commands
Edging is a type of orgasm play in which the Dominant or top brings their partner to the brink of an orgasm (or requires they masturbate themselves to the brink) and then denies them the orgasm. Sometimes, the submissive or bottom is told how many times to edge themselves, while other times, the Dominant controls the sensation without indicating when they’ll grant the orgasm.
In much of this play, a submissive partner has been told or knows that they must beg for permission to orgasm. A Dominant may deny the orgasm or, if they’re feeling generous, grant it. In other types of play, the game may be to see if the submissive can stop themselves from begging and wait for permission.
Part of the pain and pleasure is in the denial. Once permission is granted, sometimes issued with a “Come for me!” by the Dominant partner, the stimulus - vibrator, hand, and even tongue - continues far past the first orgasm. Once your body is on the edge of an orgasm, the first one you experience is often big and explosive. People who orgasm relatively easily may find that the successive orgasms are just as powerful as the first as their body is overloaded with endorphins and sensations.
Forced Orgasms Through Masturbation
Forced orgasms don't just have to be created by your partner. You can do this yourself! Begin by rubbing one out. Let it build. If possible, don’t rush the first orgasm. Certainly don’t stress out if it takes a while to build. If you and your partner are apart, use Skype or the phone to be together. These days, he lays down on the bed next to me, propped up on one arm, and watches. He doesn’t direct my movements or tell me when to come. He knows I’m going to make it painful because that’s what I like.
Once the first orgasm hits, keep moving your fingers or pressing the vibe against your body. Yes, even when it hurts. Especially when it hurts. When I do this, I always feel the next orgasm build up through the bottom of my feet and race up my legs. It’s an electrical jolt to my system. You might be like me and want to close your legs and clamp down on your hand or toy. I’ve found this makes it worse, so if you’re trying to get away from the sensations, it probably won’t help, but you’ll probably force at least one more orgasm that way (which is a plus even if you aren’t so sure about it at the time).
You’re done when the pain outweighs the pleasure. Maybe that’s after the second orgasm. Maybe it’s after the tenth. Throw the toy to the side or move your hand away. Now you can enjoy the afterglow. Personally, after I wring a few orgasms out of my body, I’m completely relaxed and ready for bed.
Safety and Consent in Power Exchange
Forced orgasms aren’t for everyone. If you’re trying them as part of kinky play or a power exchange with your partner, always talk about it before you play. Make sure you have a safe word or a gesture to let your Dominant or top know if the good pain has turned to bad pain or if something is wrong and you need to stop immediately.
The first time you try it, you may not be able to handle a lot of stimuli. If you enjoy it and keep playing with forced orgasms, you may find you’re able to handle more over time and have more orgasms. Never feel bad if you aren’t able to achieve more than one orgasm (or an orgasm at all). As long as you (and your partner) felt some mutual pleasure, that’s all that matters.
Orgasm control is a common kinky practice. Every relationship will be a little different, but orgasm control can occur in a couple of ways: requiring permission to masturbate and/or climax or having your orgasms forced. Yet forced orgasms aren’t just for two (or more) kinky partners having fun, naked time. Even when you’re going solo and masturbating by yourself, you can force your own orgasms.
Ultimately, no matter how you experience them or how rough you like it, forced orgasms are all about pleasure.
