Forms of Kink: An Outline for Beginners

Entering the world of BDSM can be daunting. You’re welcomed with open arms, but a lot of people don’t know where to start. They don’t know what to try or what type of kink they’re into. Since you might lack mentorship or guidance upon first entering the lifestyle, consider this a road map to help guide you through some of the different forms of kink. There’s a lot to choose from, but we’ll get through it together. First, let's look at a few general tips and definitions to get you started on your journey.

Kinky Definitions You Should Know

Implement
The word "implement" refers to any tool you use to play with your partner within the context of a scene. This can include whips, canes, paddles, and/or various other tools.

Negotiation
Negotiation is essential and should be the first step before you engage in any scene. It should be incredibly in-depth. Topics discussed between you and your play partner should include safe words, hard limits, soft limits, medical and psychological information (this can’t be overlooked) aftercare, and many other aspects of the impending scene.

Impact Play: A Common Kinky Interest

Impact play is defined as the use of your hands or an implement to physically strike a person. It’s an umbrella term that can include spanking, caning, cropping, and whipping. Impact play has been practiced for thousands of years. Frescoes have been found showing the practice in Ancient Greece, is mentioned in the Karma Sutra, and records of ritual self-flagellation have been documented in churches up to today.

It’s also the most ubiquitous form of play you’ll come across, especially during play parties. Spanking is often considered the simplest form of impact play and it’s the form you’ll see most throughout your engagement in the lifestyle. However, don’t be surprised if you hear the crack of the whip at your next play party.

Here are a few things you need to keep in mind regardless of where you start on the impact play spectrum:

• Be sure you’ve identified impact play safe zones on the body. It doesn’t matter whether you’re flogging, caning or spanking; there are some places on the body that people shouldn’t be hit under any circumstances. These places are known as "danger zones," or "red zones." For instance, the face and joints should always be avoided. On the other hand, the butt, thighs and breasts (also known as "green areas") are generally a safe bet. Being able to distinguish between green and red areas is imperative in keeping you and your partner safe.

• Start at the beginning. Please don’t rush into play that’s too advanced for you. It’s OK to be a beginner. I suggest you start your journey in impact play with spanking, since that’ll be the least intimidating form of play you’ll encounter. Gradually move from there to more advanced types of play, such as working with crops, floggers and, finally, whips.

• When you finally become comfortable enough with spanking to use an implement, even holding it can be daunting. In that case, I offer the following exercise: Place sticky notes on a pillar or platform and practice knocking them off with your cane, flogger, or whip. Doing this will help you get a feel for the precision required to work with the implement during the scene. Take your time with this.

After you’ve become proficient in impact play, there’s a lot you can jump into.

B Is for Bondage!

In BDSM, bondage refers to restraining a partner. That being said, although most people assume that bondage involves rope, rope play is actually more of an intermediate to advanced level type of bondage.

Rope play is a form of bondage that incorporates tying someone up during a scene. It’s one of the few practices that are still practiced today using ancient techniques perfected in Japan during the Edo Period. There are a few things to keep in mind when you’re dealing with bondage in general and rope play in particular:

• Research, research, research. Read as many books as you can get your hands on. Watch YouTube videos and take notes. Go to parties and ask questions about the ties and suspensions. Don’t even think about touching a rope until you’ve done a substantial amount of research on the topic first.

• Pay attention to different medical conditions. People with brittle bones disease, fibromyalgia and diabetes all have various joint and circulation issues that must be considered before a scene. Ask your partner whether or not they’ve seen a physician prior to the scene to discuss the safety of pressure being applied to their joints. If they haven’t consulted their doctor, the scene shouldn’t continue.