Masturbation and solo sex

8 Tips for Having the Best Masturbation Month Ever

Published: MAY 18, 2021 | Updated: SEPTEMBER 28, 2021
Go forth and celebrate Masturbation Month using these tips - or however you choose.

Masturbation Month is here again and we’ve all got self-pleasure on the mind. Not entirely sure how that differs from other months, but that’s not the point. Really, wanking is wicked and is a regular part of many folks’ sexual fun. Cheers to that!


But what if masturbation could be...more? What if touching yourself could become even better? If you still have a hand free, check out these 8 tips for making this the best masturbation month ever!

1. Mix Things Up

Routine and patterns can make our busy lives more manageable and less stressful. Knowing a positive result awaits at the end of a situation or task can make that endeavour all the more tolerable. It can even lead to cherished, anticipated rituals.

But do you know what these routines, patterns and rituals can also become? Predictable. Uninspired. Boring. And if you find your hands-only habits are falling into this description, maybe it is time to mix things up.


Now, technically, everything suggested down below could fall under the general idea of “mixing it up” when you’re mixing something up down below. But that’s one of the great things about masturbation: there are so many different ways to play and explore our bodies that, really, this list could be massive!

So, for simplicity sake, here are some general ideas to vary up your masturbation habits that might liven up your self-lovin’ a bit. Do you normally masturbate at night? Try morning instead (or also!) Do you usually get right to business on your genitals? Try exploring other parts of your body! Do you usually go at yourself fast and dirty, racing to an orgasm? Try something more slow and sensual. Maybe not even orgasm at all! Switch hands! Switch positions! Luxuriate with a long session! Have a quicky! Really, the possibilities are endless and are only constrained by your imagination. Read: Top Solo Sex Tips for Vulva-Havers

2. Try a Toy

Most frequently, people discover the joy of masturbation with their hands. Our fingers get to roaming and exploring, our bodies react and the next thing you know we’re spending as much time alone as possible and your family wonders why you’re smiling all the time.


Now, how hands definitely deserve high-fives for all of the orgasms they can bring, but let’s not forget that there are more options for solo sexual pleasure. Adding a sex toy to your masturbatory mmmm can elevate your joy to new levels of oooooh.

Fortunately, we are living in the golden age of sex toys. The variety of sex toys available now mean that there are products to excite and enthrall the many different sexual desires out there. Do you normally stroke your penis with your hand? Try a stroker instead. Do you rub your clit with your fingers? Check out the wide assortment of vibrators and clitoral suction devices ready and waiting for you.

But don’t stop with those fun bits. There are sex toys that will tease and please all of your sensitive bits. Prostate massagers, nipple clamps, G-spot massagers...oh my! Exploring different sex toys can unlock your masturbation potential in ways you’ve never considered before.


3. Lovin’ Lubes

There’s a saying that goes something like “the best things come in the smallest packages.” Well, sometimes the best cums come from the smallest bottles. Or the biggest, if you prefer to shop in bulk.

Adding lube to your masturbation can be a gamechanger. Whether you’re playing with a penis that naturally doesn’t self-lube or a vagina that does self-lube, the sensations offered by adding water-based, silicone and oil-based lubricants to your personal touch can blow your mind and your load.

As with sex toys, there are many different lubes to try and as often sold as sample size. Pick up a variety and see how they feel during different self-love sessions. Beyond just providing friction-free frigging, specialty lubes also come with a variety of sensation temptations. Warming, cooling, stimulating—take your pick from a smorgasbord of choices!


4. Talk About It

Here’s a theory: people remain uncomfortable with masturbation because we’re only starting to discuss it openly. For many, touching yourself is still a taboo topic that you barely want to acknowledge for yourself, let alone to others.

Fortunately, in recent years, masturbation has become a much more acceptable topic to discuss openly. This is great news because it means people are becoming more comfortable with self-love. And the more comfortable we become, the greatly the likelihood that we abandon the shame that stigmatizes masturbation.Read: The Kinkly Self-Pleasure Survey


Now, this is not an instruction to engage your friends in non-consensual talk for you to get off. If you and your friends choose to talk each other to a cum, by all means go ahead. But the intention here is to chat with your friends about masturbation for mutual comfort and possibly sharing learning, such as which sex toys are the best and what techniques make you feel good. Opening up to friends can teach you things, but it can also help you understand that you are not alone in your masturbatory delights and that they are a natural itch to scratch.

5. Talk About It (Sexy Remix)

Now this here, this is an instruction to engage other folks to join you for some together alone time. Consensual, of course! In many instances, masturbation is best when it is done completely solo, and that’s great! But the opportunity to get off with other people who are also masturbating offers truly sexy new thrills.

There are many different ways to masturbate with someone else, and they all introduce an extra sensation into the mix. Whether you’re on the same bed, in the same room, on the phone or on a video chat together, when you’re mutually touching yourselves, you both get to enjoy some exhibitionistic and voyeuristic thrills. For sure, masturbation can be about ‘me’ time, but sharing that ‘me’ time with ‘you’ can make both of ‘us’ cum really hard.

6. Pass the Porn

Erotic entertainment and masturbation go hand in hand. And the options to be entertained while masturbation are truly endless. The great big world of porn and erotica has much to offer and if you’ve never explored, maybe now is the time to take a peek.

When porn is mentioned, the first thing people usually think of is mass-produced material that can be exploitative and features people of impossible beauty standards. That kind of porn definitely exists, but so does ethically-produced porn! If you’ve only been exposed to porn that didn’t appeal to you, then give some of these creators a chance and check out their stuff.

Another great source of sexy smut for self-stimulation is erotica. If you can keep one hand free while fingering, erotic novels, stories, magazines and sites offer stories of every sort, fetish and interest. Let the words dance across your eyes and make a play in your imagination while you conduct the orchestra down below.

7. Explore Edging

So for we’ve looked at various tools and situations that can take your 'bating from blah to boom! Here’s a technique you can try that will keep you on the pleasure precipice until you finally let go. Edging and orgasm control are fantastic ways to not only increase your pleasure during masturbation, but also get to know your body and how you react sexually.

First, let’s start with the obvious. By bringing yourself close to orgasm and then stopping, over and over again, you’ll get the benefits of a longer session and more minutes (or hours!) of pleasure. At the same time though, edging for a period of time can also elevate the power of your orgasm, once you do allow yourself to reach that peak.

Edging sessions, while super sexy, also offer the benefit of sexy self exploration. Perhaps you’re concerned that you can’t last long enough during partnered sex. Try different techniques during an edging session to see how you can pull back your pleasure and delay your orgasm. Or maybe you have difficulty achieving orgasm during partnered sex. You can also try different things while edging that will help you what can push you to the point of no return.

8. Find YOUR Groove

Finally, we’ve saved the best for last. To truly have the best masturbation month ever, there is one important thing you need to do: Relax and enjoy it. There are countless reasons to masturbate and even more ways to do it. Whether you’re practicing self-care or self-love or self-pleasure or self-abandon, you should masturbate in whatever way you feel most comfortable.

Read: The Ultimate List of Expert Masturbation TIps

If you like the idea of a month-long masturbation challenge—go for it! It might change your life. If that idea seems...challenging, then enjoy masturbation at your own pace. Whatever makes your self-touch memorable is what works best for you. All of the ideas above are suggestions and if they don’t appeal, then find those ideas that do turn your personal crank.

There are too many situations in life where we feel pressured into sex. Having sex with yourself should never be accompanied with that feeling. There are too many awesome feelings to enjoy with masturbation!


Jon Pressick

Jon Pressick is a sex-related media gadabout. For more than 20 years, Jon has been putting sex into our daily conversations at his long-running site SexInWords—as a writer, editor, publisher, sex toy reviewer, radio host, workshop facilitator, event producer and more. These days, he focuses on writing for Kinkly, GetMeGiddy, The Buzz and PinkPlayMags and editing Jason Armstrong's series of Solosexual books. In 2015, Jon edited Cleis Press' Best Sex Writing of the...

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