Long term relationships

Your Relationship: Keeping the Kink Alive

Published: JULY 6, 2015 | Updated: FEBRUARY 15, 2022
It's important that sexy time is a priority. Do something creative. Happy fornicating!

We've all been down this road before; picture it if you will: boy meets girl (or girl meets girl, or girl meets boy, etc.), boy and girl begin dating and humping like rabbits, and boy and girl wind up in a long term relationship. As time passes, and the honeymoon phase becomes a thing of the past, so too does their sex life. Their once happy - and kinky - sexy time goes from daily romps to maybe a weekly roll in the hay. So, how do you keep the kink alive in your relationship when you're cock blocked (or clit blocked for the ladies) by your ever growing to-do list and damned adult responsibilities? Good question. We a have a few suggestions to help keep the kink alive. After all, those who play together, stay together!


Where Did All of the Kink Go?

In a perfect world, we’d all be doing the horizontal mambo with our chosen partner at every given chance. Life isn't always perfect. Unfortunately, those pesky adult responsibilities get in the way of jumping each other’s bones more often than not, leaving us too tired or, *gasp*, too busy to do the wild thing as often as we’d like. Work, opposite schedules, day-to-day responsibilities, stress, exhaustion, you feel fat, the zombies attacked. Whatever you're facing, it can cause sex to drop further and further down the to-do list. So how do you keep your sex life alive? Prioritize! There will always be reasons to not have sex. The key is to put those reasons aside, just for a bit, and make time for a romp with your lover. I often hear women complain that they are "too tired" and then in the next breath they will complain that their significant other isn't interested in them anymore. Um, hello! Rejections, especially repeated rejection, is a surefire way to keep his little soldier from standing at attention. Stop making excuses and stap making whoopie!

Put “Doing It” Back on the To-Do List!

If you and your lover have every excuse in the book why your love life falls further and further down the to-do list, it’s time to stop making excuses and start making nice with your no-no places! Not getting enough sex is one of the main complaints among couples, and there are a million reasons why the sex begins to dwindle. So, how do you bring your love life back and keep the kink alive in your relationship? Here's how to put doing it back on the to-do list.

1. Quickies!

No time for him to lay pipe all night long? No worries - master the quickie! The quickie should always be in your sexual repertoire. Squeeze him in (literally) as you are getting ready for work in the morning (steamy shower lovin’ anyone?) or race to meet each other at lunch time for a nooner.


Before you dismiss the quickie, listen up. I’m not talking about a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am where he gets his rocks off and she’s left less than satisfied. Communication is the key to a mutually satisfying quickie. If you are in tune with each other, a quickie can be a win-win solution to your lack of nooky. Besides, a quickie will fill that immediate need while still leaving you thirsty for more later on.

2. Get Creative!

Banging is supposed to be fun. So, get creative! If you want to keep the kink alive, you are going to have to think outside of the box (no pun intended). Try role playing or acting out a fantasy that one or both of you have. Turn the video camera on and make your own private video. If there is a birthday, holiday, or even a Tuesday coming up how about doing a sexy photo shoot for your lover? Spice things up a bit by going to the strip club together. If these all seem a little too much for your taste, what about sexting or introducing some sex toys into your naughty time? There are plenty of creative ways to keep the kink alive. Sex is supposed to be fun! Be spontaneous, even if it means having sex in outrageous places whenever, and where ever, the mood strikes.

3. Make Knocking Boots a Priority!

The most important advice I can give you on how to keep the kink alive is this: make it a priority. Sexual intimacy is just as important in a relationship as everything else (trust, honesty, communication, etc.). If you make trust a priority, then your bedroom business should also be a priority. That level of intimacy is the heartbeat of any relationship. If he’s left hanging or she’s left out to dry, that’s when the love life fades and the cheating starts. Your libido should never be put on the back burner. If you want to keep the kink alive in your relationship then you need to make room in your life for sex, just like you did when you were first dating. It's really that simple!


So, class, today's lessons are: be creative! Prioritize the booty! Master the quickie!

Now, turn off the computer and go fornicate!

Boston Single Girl

I’m just a single girl in Boston; working, living, dating and writing about it all! The stories are real, but the names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.

I started this blog in April of 2011 at the suggestion of friends who, after...

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