Is there an organic way to facilitate a threesome?

Q:

My long-term partner and I have always been curious about inviting others into our bedroom. Is there an organic way to facilitate a threesome?

A:

Well, this one comes up a lot. People want sex and threesomes to happen spontaneously and organically. And, well, I won't say that never in the history of threesomes has that happened, I actually don't think it's a very good idea. There are so many factors when it comes to any kind of sex, and then when you add more people, I think you're really looking for mishaps and hurt feelings if you don't talk about it first. That doesn't mean that it can't still feel spontaneous and fun and playful in the moment. Talking about it in advance doesn't have to ruin the mood. It doesn't have to spoil the fun. It just means that you're more likely to have everybody getting what they want out of their experience and having their needs met.

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Written by Stella Harris
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Stella Harris is such a nerd about communication that she wrote a book about it - "Tongue Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships". As a Certified Intimacy Educator and Sex Coach, she uses a variety of tools to guide and empower her clients and she teaches everything from pleasure anatomy, to communication skills, to kink and BDSM. Stella teaches at venues and conferences across the country (and Canada!) most recently appearing at ConvergeCon in Vancouver, B.C., Dark Odyssey: Surrender in San Francisco, Kinky Kollege in Chicago, and Reed College in her adopted hometown of Portland, Oregon. In addition to her upcoming book, Stella has been busy writing her sex column for the Willamette Week, Humptown!

Learn more at www.stellaharris.net or follow @stellaerotica on Twitter or @stellaharriserotica on Instagram.

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