I'm curious about bondage but uneasy about giving up control and becoming so vulnerable. Do you have any tips?

Q:

I'm curious about bondage but uneasy about giving up so much control and becoming so vulnerable to my partner. Do you have any tips on how to proceed?

A:

One of the beautiful things about power exchange is that vulnerability that you can find. But yes, it is really important to make sure that whoever you are trusting with that vulnerability can handle it.

If you're really serious about practicing bondage with your partner, you should think about how they've handled you in vulnerable situations before. Have they been able to have conversations with you about tough things in your relationship with respect and empathy? If you think that your partner does handle vulnerability well and that you can trust them to hold that space for you, it's a really great idea to start with very small steps and then build up. You don't have to jump in the deep end of the pool right away.

My favorite starting activity for bondage is using silk scarves. So, you could talk a few silk scarves under your pillow and pull the scarves out, and you can either offer your wrists to your partner or ask them to offer their wrists to be tied as well. It is important before you do something like that to have some sort of negotiation. So, just make sure that you go through all of the steps of talking about what is going to happen if and when you do tie each other up.

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Written by Mistress Couple

Mistress Couple is the Head Mistress of La Domaine Esemar, the world’s oldest BDSM training chateau, where she hosts and educates bondage practitioners from all over the globe. Best known for her psychological approach to BDSM, Mistress Couple has been interviewed as an authority in the field by media outlets including Cosmopolitan, VICE, The Daily Beast, Huffington Post, Racked, and more.

 

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