Welcome to the fun world of strap-on play and pegging! Now that you're here, I want to make sure you have the best experience possible. Step one for fun and pleasurable strap-on play is having the right gear. You don't need the most expensive gear out there, but you do need gear that works for you and your receptive partner's needs. Frustrating gear doesn't make for a fun time.

So how do you get the best gear? Well, you choose your gear instead of picking from a pre-made package! My goal here is to ensure the process goes as smoothly as possible. I know it can be scary when you check out a retailer to find thousands of options, so I'm here to help you narrow those options down - and pick the best strap-on harness set for you and your needs. So let's get started, OK?

Select a Strap-On Harness

When it comes to strap-on play, the harness is the most important part. An uncomfortable or droopy harness will impact your scene - and your enjoyment of strap-on play. We want your experience to be as amazing as possible, and that starts with the harness. Here are the things you should know about strap-on harnesses while looking through a list of strap-on harnesses to buy.

Strap-On Harness Styles and Designs

Strap-on harnesses usually come in three-basic designs. These names are based off of what strap style holds the harness onto your body. While every harness will encircle the hips as the strongest anchor point for keeping the harness on, where the rest of the straps fall is what differentiates the different harness types. A single-strap harness has a single strap that runs between the legs (and against the genitals) - much like a thong. A double/jock-strap style harness has two straps that run between the legs (and usually fall to each side of the genitals) and run underneath the butt cheeks before hooking back up to the hip straps - much like a jock strap. Finally, the "panty" style harness is just that. It's a wearable panty with very little in the way of straps and buckles - but it has a built-in O-ring in the front that's designed to hold a dildo.

So which type is best for you? In an ideal world, you'd get to try them all out before you made your final purchase. In the real world, well, that just isn't how it works (unless you have some amazing kinky friends!)

If you're looking for the most-comfortable for all-day wear and least-hassle for use, the panty-style harnesses are probably your best bet. However, panty-style harnesses have the smallest size ranges, usually have built-in O-rings (which limits the variety of dildo sizes you can use), and don't offer too much dildo contact during a pegging. The dildo will get pulled away from your body on almost every thrust.

Panty Style Strap-On Harness
The Crotchless Fantasy Harness is a standard version of a panty harness.

Want more contact with the dildo? A double-strap/jock harness may be your best bet. The two straps help hold the dildo more firmly against the body, which means the dildo will contact your clitoris and other pleasurable areas more often. However, these harnesses have more straps (which may seem more formidable to a first-time user), and some people don't like the more "masculine" appearance of the harness. Some people also complain that all of the straps around the genital area can block access to the wearer's genitals while wearing it.

Jock strap style strap-on harnessLooking for that double-strap harness? The Universal Harness has your back.


Your middle ground is the single-strap harness. It's easy to step into and go right to town, but it doesn't offer as much toy contact for the wearer as a double-strap harness. It also offers the ability for the strap-on giver to use internal toys of their own - which might be attached to the single, between-the-legs strap of the harness.

Single strap strap-on harness

Like the simplicity of simple straps? Check out the Bare Harness.


Strap-Ons and O-Rings

Harnesses come in two varieties: either with built-in O-rings or interchangeable O-rings. O-Rings are the rings that hold the dildo in the harness. When the ring is too large, the dildo might be floppy and move around a lot. When the ring is too small, the dildo just plain won't fit.

Built-in O-rings are harnesses where the O-ring is, well, built-in! Usually, it'll be a stretchy type of rubber that's been sewn into the fabric of the harness. This ring will stretch a little bit, but it won't go too far outside of its O-ring's diameter. (The Adult Toy Shop - along with most other retailers - lists the O-ring diameter on their product pages, so you'll know what size your built-in O-ring is going to be.)

Interchangeable O-rings are just that: O-rings that can be changed. You can purchase more O-ring sizes at a sex toy store or, if you're the crafty type, O-rings can be found at hardware stores. Most interchangeable O-rings are held in by a system of snap buttons, allowing for a quick and easy change. The Bare Harness has an interchangeable O-ring system - and a simplistic design to boot!

This is where having a potential idea about your potential dildo's width will be a good addition to your purchasing. If you know you'll likely want a dildo that's over 2 inches in width, you'll want to be careful about purchasing built-in O-rings. Some built-in O-rings can stretch that far - but not all! If you think you'll always stick to toys with a diameter under 2 inches, you can feel safe buying that built-in O-ring - and never have to hassle with the annoyance of changing out the rings.

It's also worth considering how often you'll want to change dildos mid-session. While a built-in O-ring will require you to pull-down the harness and slide the dildo out of the interior of the harness, you'll be able to leave the harness in place while switching out a dildo in an interchangeable O-ring harness. Why? Most interchangeable O-ring harnesses have the snaps and O-rings on the front of the harness. You can unsnap and switch out the dildo without having to move an inch of harness fabric.

Strap-On Harness Sizing

If you're looking at single-strap and double-strap designs, strap-on harnesses tend to have lots of adjustable straps, and are designed to fit a wide variety of sizes. Panty harnesses however, are designed for a much more specific body size (because of the lack of straps). However, if you're plus-sized or especially tiny-bodied, you might want to pay special attention to the listed hip sizes that the harness will fit. Most harnesses run between 30 inches and 54 inches for hip sizing. If you need something outside of that, pay special attention to the sizing requirements the harness lists and look for something that fits your body type. The Universal Strap-On Harness will fit hip sizes up to 66 inches. If you're especially small, remember that you can always cut off extra strap material you don't need if it's bothering you.

Pick a Dildo for Your Harness

OK, we've got the "hard part" out of the way. The harness makes the largest difference in the wearer's enjoyment of the strap-on activity and, to be fair, that's what's important here. Sure, the receiver should definitely enjoy the experience too, but if it was all about the receiver, you could just use your hands to push the dildo in. We want this to be so enjoyable that the dildo wearer will want to strap-on the dildo instead of just using their hands - and that's where that good strap-on harness you picked will come in!

That being said, picking a dildo is mostly about the receiver. While the wearer should enjoy wearing the toy (and having a good, supportive harness for the toy size will contribute to that), the receiver should be able to comfortably receive penetration with the toy - and enjoy it. When you're shopping for a dildo for strap-on sex, here's what you should keep in mind:

Dildo Basics

We talked about it before, but the width of the dildo makes a large difference in whether it will fit in your potential strap-on harness. Make sure your dildo's width fits into your harness or the fun will stop before it even gets started. Also note that any dildo you plan on using in a harness will need some type of flared base. Many realistic dildos include testicles that help provide that base, but some dildos just have a wide base that will offer that "anchor point" your harness needs to keep the dildo tucked into the harness.

Strap-on dildo with flared base
The Blush Cici Dildo has a flared base that allows it to fit nicely inside an O-ring - and against the body.

Dildo Size

Now that we have the basics out of the way, let's talk about size. Yes, it matters! Would your receiving partner like a small toy, a medium toy or a large one? Especially if you're playing anally, it's important that your receiver be able to comfortably take the size of the toy. While anal stretching is a fun and enjoyable kink, it can be a frustrating experience during a strap-on scene. Because the wearer has no sensation in the strap-on cock, it's easier to hurt the receiver during penetration if the receiver can't comfortably take the size. Keep this in mind when purchasing a toy. A too-big toy might be unusable, but you can always size up to a larger toy if you find the one you chose a bit too small. (The Adult Shop allows you to sort dildos by size, so you can browse through the ones that'll be a good fit for you.)

Dildo Material

When shopping for a dildo, you should take the material into account too. If your toy isn't marketed as "phthalate-free", consider moving on to another choice, or at least cover that dildo with a condom before play! Check out our guide on sex toy materials. It's worth reading to get a basic understand of materials before you make your final purchase. You should make sure to follow the manufacturer's instructions for care for your dildo too - it'll help it last longer!

Vibrating Dildo? Or Not?

A number of strap-on dildos are available with vibrations. Vibrations can be fun; not only will the receiving partner feel the sensations, but depending on the toy you choose, the wearer can also feel the vibrations against their own body!

A Dildo's Looks

Not only does your dildo's appearance change how the dildo feels, but it can change how you feel about it too. Some dildos look extremely realistic, with testicles and texture and different skin tones, while other dildos are made in solid, bright colors with no realistic detailing. You should choose a dildo that works best for you - and talk between the two of you to ensure it's a toy that turns you both on. You might be surprised to find out the receiver hates any realistic toys - while you were in-love with the thought of having your own realistic penis. It also could be surprising to find out that your receiver thinks your favorite design won't do much for them sensation-wise. Open communication here is best!

But ... There's Nothing Wrong With a Strap-On Kit

OK, I get it. I know I touted the benefits of buying the harness and dildo separately, but there's no reason you have to. Now that you have all of this information, you're going to make a better, more-informed decision about any particular strap-on set-up you choose to buy, whether it's a kit or not. The Adult Toy Shop offers pre-made pegging kits that you could choose from. Use the knowledge you've learned in this article to pick up a kit that seems best for your needs. Remember: if you fall in love with the dildo or the harness but aren't in love with the other part, you could always come back and pick up something you're more-likely to love for the part of your kit you weren't into!

Happy shopping, and enjoy some amazing strap-on sex!