MASTURBATION AND SOLO SEX

8 Ways to Turn Yourself on for More Satisfying Sex

by GIGI ENGLE

Published: DECEMBER 5, 2019 | Updated: AUGUST 29, 2021

Jumpstart your sex drive by trying some of these fantastic ways to turn yourself on.

If you’ve been feeling like you’re in a sex slump, not feeling super turned on, or are having trouble getting in the mood, you may want to take a look at your self-care routine. Sometimes getting turned on means getting yourself in the mood.

You may think it’s your partner’s responsibility to get your juices flowing, but that’s not right. You have a part to play in your sex life and you are equally responsible for making your sex life satisfying. Sex is a huge part of happy relationships and everyone should make it a priority.

Jumpstart your sex drive by trying some of these fantastic ways to turn yourself on.

1. Have the Most Luxurious of Luxurious Baths

A bath will make you feel sexy. Even if you think baths aren’t your thing, they can be. There’s an entire episode of Friends devoted to Monica turning Chandler into a “bath-person.” And it totally has merit. A luxurious bath can be enjoyed by anyone. Get some candles and turn on your favorite relaxing playlist. Spotify’s Fleetwood Mac radio station is a great choice.

Invest in some amazing bath products. This Rose B bath bomb from JD Co is organic and smells incredible. Throw on a face mask. This superfood mask from TribeTokes is a godsend. Let yourself soak and relax. Take deep breaths in and out. Soon, your whole body will be relaxed.

2. Stare at Yourself in the Mirror

After your bath, lather yourself with your favorite lotions. Take time to stare at your naked body in the mirror. Instead of focusing on the things you don’t like, admire the things you do like. Name five things you love about your body out loud to yourself.

If might feel a little silly at first, but it works. Getting turned on is a lot easier when you feel sexy and confident in your body.

Read: Own It! How to Take Back, Accept and Even Love Your Body

3. Wear Lingerie Around the House

Get some lingerie that you love. Pick something that makes you feel sexy and hot. Wear it all around the house. Vacuuming, unloading the dishwasher, answering emails - it doesn’t matter. Wear the lingerie and feel the lovely satin or silk against your skin. Sending an email to your aunt while wearing a lacy red nightie may feel scandalous and wrong, but oh, so right.

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4. Masturbate Every Single Day

Masturbating and having orgasms will make your sex life better. It may seem counterintuitive, but it’s true. Masturbating can make you want sex with your partner even more.

Orgasms are good for your mental health. When you orgasm, your body releases oxytocin, which can relieve anxiety and make you feel closer to your partner. Masturbation is nature’s gift to humans and we should fully embrace it and love it.

Read: These 31 Facts About Orgasm Are Fascinating!

5. Explore Your Body

When you’re giving yourself time for self-love, explore your body fully. You might have a surefire, go-to way of masturbating, but this can get just as stale as a repeated bedroom routine with your partner. Try running your vibrator over your nipples, or up and down your labia. Run your hands over your stomach and thighs. See what feels good.

We’re never fully finished exploring our sexuality. So, enjoy your body and give yourself the space to find new ways to have pleasure.

Read: 5 Fun Places to Use a Clitoral Vibrator (Besides Your Clit)

6. Watch (or Read or Listen to) Some Erotic Material

If you’ve been afraid of porn or just thought it was gross, you’re not alone. Free online porn on sites like RedTube are not an ideal way to get turned on. Instead, turn to something more female-friendly. Erika Lust makes amazing, gorgeous porn through a female lens.

If erotica is more your style, read a sexy story. LushStories has an amazing selection of pint-sized sexy stories that you’ll love.

If you’re a podcast or audiobook buff, no problem! Check out Dipsea. This erotica app gives you access to tons of amazing erotica that you can listen to.

7. Send Your Partner Some Dirty Sexts

Digital foreplay isn’t just for getting your partner turned on, it’s for getting you turned on. Have a sexy fantasy you’ve always wanted to try? Send a teaser to your partner. If there’s something you’d love to try tonight, let your partner know you can’t wait to have their head between your legs later.

Whatever it is, get yourself in the mood by getting a little sexting going. Our brains are our biggest sex organs. Getting your brain on the sex train will help your body follow.

Read: How to Use Sexting to Try On Your FemDom Heels

8. Treat Yourself to Something Sexy and New

Getting something new and sexy is such a good way to turn yourself on. Go to your local sex shop (or check one out online. Get something new and exciting. Have you had an interest in trying some light bondage? Get yourself a blindfold. Always wanted a wand vibrator? Get yourself a vibrator.

Having new gear isn’t the answer to everything, but it sure can help. You’ll be itching to try out your new goodies.

Gigi Engle

Gigi Engle, ACS, CSE, CSC, is an award-winning feminist author, certified sex coach, sexologist and sex educator. As a sex educator, she promotes and teaches about pleasure-based sex education, masturbation and safer sex practices. Gigi’s work regularly appears in many publications including Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, Elle Magazine, Teen Vogue, Glamour and Women's Health. Her articles have been shared over 50 million times, with her top posts reaching over 150 million shares. In 2019, Gigi was named Journalist of The Year at the Sexual Freedom Awards. Her book, "All The F*cking MIstakes, A Guide to Sex Love and Life" (McMillian) is available wherever books are sold.

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