Bondage is a very common kink. But here's something else you may not know about it: It’s also one of the first things people try when they’re considering getting kinky. It is the “B” in BDSM after all!
It’s also something you must be sure to do carefully - so read up on safety considerations and negotiation before you dive in. Once you know how to play safe, try out the following fun bondage sex positions.
Most people are familiar with the Spread Eagle Position, but adding bondage to the mix can make it more exciting. By securing someone’s wrists and ankles to the four corners of the bed (whether they’re face up or face down) you can have complete access to the front or back of their body. The vulnerability this pose creates can make it very exciting for both parties and it allows for a variety of sexy or kinky activities.
One thing to remember - whenever someone’s arms are above their heart, circulation can become a problem, so make sure to check in. And make sure the restraints on wrists and ankles aren’t too tight. (Try an under-the-bed restraint system. It provides soft ties and adjustable restraints to help keep your captive safe and comfortable.)
Looking for more sex position ideas? Check out our Sex Positions Playlist.
Want to test your balance and flexibility? Try holding a bent-over position during sex or kink. This can be either a wide stance, like downward-facing dog, or a narrow stance with your hands near your feet. Either way, you might need your partners help to keep you up. But since hands tightly gripping your hips are part of the fun, getting an assist shouldn’t be a problem.
Using a spreader bar is a simple and effective way to bind someone for this pose.
Read: 8 Hot Sex Positions That Are Better With a Spreader Bar
Recalling the classic "damsel in distress" popularized by Betty Page, chair bondage is a fabulous entry-level position bondage sex position. Because the bound person is sitting, this position is easy to maintain. It can limit sexual access unless you use bondage furniture, or a chair modified with a hole in the seat, but there is still plenty of fun to be had without genitals. This position can work for oral sex, or a variety of forms of kink. As an entry-level position, it can also go well with more mild sensation play, providing a full kink experience that’s still beginner friendly.
A typical form of chair bondage is simply wrists tied to the arms of a chair and ankles tied to the legs of a chair, but it also lends itself to a variety of other positions - your imagination is the limit.
For this position, try some using some simple bondage rope or secure your partner using wrist and ankle cuffs.
Tying the arms behind the neck creates instant vulnerability and is also easier on the shoulders than having your hands tied at your lower back. The Armbind Gag position is fantastic because it doesn’t require a great deal of flexibility, but it still takes away control. A fun addition is to add a gag - which can be build in to the position if you’re using rope, or can be added separately if you’re using other forms of bondage.
A gag can be an exciting sensation as filling someone’s mouth is incredibly intimate. It also adds drool to the mix, which can be part of the fun.
Always remember when you’re gagging someone to have non verbal safewords in case the bound partner needs to stop play.
Feeling flexible? The Leapfrog position is easy to get into and provides several options for access. Once someone’s wrists and ankles are bound together, you can even turn them over to change things up while you’re playing.
For even more options, you can choose whether to have the wrists on the inside or outside of the ankles. This will vary the feeling of the position, and some people’s bodies will have an easier time with one or the other.
Try an adjustable spreader bar for an easy way to bind someone in this position.
The Hogtie position makes some kinds of sex difficult, but it can be great for sex with hands or toys. While it may look deceptively simple, it puts strain on several parts of the body at once. This challenging aspect of the hogtie makes it perfect for people who like to push themselves, or who like to feel truly helpless.
Bondage rope works well for this position. You could also try a set of armbinders paired with ankle restraints or a beginner hogtie system.
The Shrimp or ForcedBow position is similar to the Hogtie in that it is more difficult to maintain than it looks. Designed as a torture position, being bent over restricts breathing, so it’s vital to keep checking in with the restrained partner and making sure you let them out before they are too uncomfortable or too short of breath.
One of the useful things about this position is that you can secure someone when they’re sitting up, and then tip them over for access to their ass and genitals. Because this position keeps the legs out of the way, it’s more sex-friendly than a Hogtie.
Try bondage rope for this position. Or use an armbinder and connect a collar and ankle restraints.
Mummification is typically a full-bodied form of bondage, and it’s one where the restraint is the point of the play, rather than bondage for sexual access. Perhaps the most extreme form of bondage, it’s important to know how someone reacts to restraint before trying this. Even experienced players can begin to panic when they’re encased from tip to toe.
It’s this extreme nature that makes Mummification appealing to some kinksters, especially people who want to push their limits. You can use plastic wrap, bondage tape, vet wrap, rope, or even full body leather casings to customize your mummification experience.
If you do want to add sex to your mummification play, you can leave holes or cut openings (using safety shears) over genitals or breasts. This form of bondage goes especially well with tease and denial or forced orgasm.
No matter what position you try, remember that sex and kink play is about the connection between the people involved. Don’t let the logistics overshadow the intimacy and make sure to communicate before, during, and after play to make sure everyone is getting their needs met.
Looking for more kinky bondage sex positions to get tied up with? Check out our sex positions page!
Stella Harris is a certified intimacy educator, coach, and mediator, who uses a variety of tools to guide and empower her clients and she teaches everything from pleasure anatomy, to communication skills, to kink and BDSM. Stella has appeared at conferences across the US and Canada, and regularly provides workshops and guest lectures to colleges and universities. Stella’s writing has appeared widely, including a weekly sex advice column in her local paper. Highlights of her media appearances include speaking as an expert on Banana Slug sex and appearing on the evening news discussing the importance of sex education in schools.
Stella is the author of two books, "Tongue Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships" and and "The Ultimate Guide to Threesomes." Learn more at www.stellaharris.net or follow @stellaharriserotica on Instagram.
