Life is busy.
5 Fun Ways to Use a Sex Toy With Your Partner This Valentine's Day
In fact, it's so busy that I wouldn't blame you if you come home most workdays a bit too tired to even think about using your sex toys in new and creative ways. However, half the fun of holidays is their ability to make us focus on doing something new and out-of-the-ordinary—and Valentine's Day is no exception.
So, this Valentine's Day, why not put some of your attention towards using your tried-and-true, favorite sex toys with your partner in a whole new way? Forget the standard "lay in bed and vibrate." Experience all-new sides of your sex toy (and your partner!) by giving some of these sex toy adventures a try:
Take It Out of the Bedroom
Your favorite sex toy probably lives in the bed's five-foot radius. So, take it on an adventure! Keep your favorite body-safe sex toy near the couch—or consider pulling it into the kitchen.
But wherever you keep it, the point is to try having sex outside the bedroom. Trust me—it'll instantly up the intensity; and using your favorite tried-and-true sex toy can ensure any new positions or scenery changes still end up being deliciously orgasmic. (And don't forget: It isn't just intercourse on the menu. If you're more comfortable exploring oral sex, hand jobs, or fingering outside of the bedroom, definitely give those a try!)
Read: How to Finger a Vulva
Feeling even more adventurous? Your sex toys can become public play sex toys too! For example, if you have a remote-controlled vibrator, take it out to a semi-noisy place to explore pleasurable sensations right in public. If you're working without a remote, consider slipping your sex toy into a pocket, bag, or purse—then taking it into the bathroom and sending your partner video or photo evidence of your naughty adventures.
Get It Wet
One of the easiest ways to add some excitement to your sex life is by taking sex to an aquatic world.
Most homes have a shower or bath—and you might be lucky enough to have access to larger bodies of water like pools or lakes. If your favorite sex toy is waterproof (sorry electro-sex lovers!), consider it the perfect excuse to give a bit of wet fun a try.
If you want to give this a try, I recommend prioritizing anything that might be easier to hold with slippery hands—say, the Hot Octopuss DiGiT over the Wild Flower Enby 2. Since the focus is supposed to be on your connection, and not on fishing your dropped sex toy out of the water, some of your body-safe sex toys may simply lend themselves to aquatic play better than others.
Best yet, when you're done, you're already wet and able to simply clean your sex toy!
Turn It Into a Game
Sex games can help you feel more relaxed; and they can end up being perfect no-pressure catalysts to explore more intimate time.
Here are some gamified ways to use your sex toy in the bedroom:
- See who can make the other laugh the hardest by using the vibrator in odd/weird spots that neither of you expect.
- Lay out all of your sex toys on the bed and blindfold one of you. The unblindfolded partner speaks the name of a specific toy and starts a timer; and the blindfolded partner needs to find and identify that toy by touch alone. Challenge each other to see who can do it faster.
- Toss your extra blankets into a pile on the bed. Now turn on a vibrator and toss it into the pile before mixing it all back together again. Both of you now don your blindfolds and see who can find the buzzing toy first.
- Take your favorite, very-clean body-safe sex toy and have one partner put some flavored lube on it. The other partner, blindfolded, has to guess what flavor it is. Take turns to see how many you each get right. (As a bonus, this game can teach you what flavor[s] you both like best—but if you're on the market for recommendations, I recommend Wicked Aqua Flavored Salted Caramel.)
Have a sex toy that features an app-enabled design? You have even more options—like:
- If your app has vibrate-to-music functionality, connect your sex toy to the app, blindfold one partner and place the toy on them. With the phone on mute, have the blindfolded partner guess what song you're playing based on vibrations alone.
- If your app has ambient noise vibration modes, use it as the microphone for the most nonsensical story you've ever made up. Your partner, while feeling the vibrations, has to listen to a story that makes no sense (and will probably make the two of you break down laughing).
- Experiment with the custom pattern functionality on your app while the vibrator rests on a table. With each buzz, the vibrator will make a fun noise on the table. (Can you make a backbeat for a new, freeform song the two of you are going to create?)
Read: Quiz: Which App-Enabled Toy is Right For You?
Double-Up on Sensations
Let's get sexy again.
When you pull out a sex toy in the bedroom, it can be tempting to focus solely on the sensations that sex toy provides while letting the other sensations of sex fall to the wayside. In reality, there's a whole world of ways you can pleasure yourself (or your partner!) in addition to your sex toy—so don't forget to work those in this Valentine's Day.
Some fun ideas include:
- Use some kinky restraints to add a bit of bondage before using your favorite sex toy.
- If you aren't ready to try bondage yet, consider a basic blindfold. It's simple; but it builds anticipation that really amplifies sensations!
- Give nipple clamps a try. If your nipples are sensitive, adding clamps while using your favorite toy can add a whole lot more sensation.
- On the same note, consider sliding in a slender butt plug (like the Fun Factory Bootie or b-Vibe Vibrating Jewel) while using another toy or having intercourse.
- If you're using an insertable toy, add cock ring onto the base of it to add even more vibrations!
- Use the above trick with anything you can penetrate—for example, a penis stroker. Sliding a bullet vibrator into the non-penetrative end will turn the entire stroker into a new experience.
- Use flavored lube alongside your favorite sex toy during oral sex. Everything will taste a bit different—and your sex toy will become your oral sex BFF for pleasuring your partner!
Read: 7 Fun Ways to Use Flavored Lube
Use It as a Date Night Grand Finale
If your partner has a favorite sex toy, use it to your advantage by making it the grand finale of a romantic evening.
Especially if your partner has been under a lot of stress, an evening of them-focused activities and pampering can be one of the best gifts you can give. Take them out to the spa or to their favorite sports bar for drinks. Offer to chauffeur—or to be their eye candy for the evening so they can truly appreciate all the views their relaxing day has to offer.
When you both get home, continue their pampering experience by indulging them in a long, drawn-out foreplay session with their favorite sex toys. I mean, really draw it out. We're talking slow sex, edging, making out—the whole nine.
Read: How to Make Foreplay the Main Event
If you'll be delving into anal sex toys, use your fingers to massage, tease and lightly touch the entrance until they can't take it anymore. If you're using a penis pleasurer, pay lots of attention to the sensitive skin around the penis—including the testicles and perineum—before starting any stroking. Clitoral pleasure through wand massagers on the menu? Take your time, leisurely tracing the sensitive skin of the labia, and never quite apply the pressure they want—until you pull out your vibrator, that is.
If you want to try impact play, grope, massage and squeeze the soon-to-be-spanked areas before ever touching your favorite paddle. If you're hoping for some creative sex positions with sex furniture tonight, consider putting them into position—then leaving them waiting in anticipation as you continue the teasing foreplay until they're really a squirming mess.
Read: How to Set Up Your Sensual Massage for Success
Remember: It's all about drawing out the experience and turning it into a luxurious date night that neither of you will soon forget.
No matter what experience you choose from this list, it's all about remembering your favorite sex toys can be the perfect companion for romance, sexual satisfaction and connection.
Even if they're usually just your (often unthanked) perfect orgasm tools, take time this Valentine's Day to thrust them into the spotlight—and reap all of the benefits for it.
Bonus! Give a Couple's Sex Toy a Try
Still relatively new on the scene, couple's sex toys are specifically designed to be used—and shared—by a couple (or throuple! We don't judge).
This category of innovative sex toys work in one of two ways:
- Providing simultaneous pleasure to two partners
- Providing a genderless design that allows one person to enjoy various aspects of the toy, regardless of anatomy.
Curious about what these look like?
If, between the two of you, you and your partner have a vagina and a penis, couple's sex toys like the Fun Factory NOS, Balldo, Perfect Fit XPlay Breeder or We-Vibe Chorus, can be a great fit.
If, between the two of you, you and your partner have two vaginas, the Together Toy might be a better fit. Alternatively, you might fall in love with something like the Strap-on-Me Bendable Vibrating Strapless Strap-on or the Wet for Her Fusion dildos.
If, between the two of you, you and your partner have two penises, you might consider the VeDO Grip, Nexus Simul8, or the Balldo.
If you'd rather go the gender-free option, toys like the Satisfyer Multifun 3, Satisfyer Endless Love, or Wild Flower Enby 2 make that an easy possibility.
While sex toys designed for solo pleasure can feel absolutely amazing, there's no better excuse than Valentine's Day to give a whole new type of sex toy a try. Not only can it really enhance your pleasure—but it can also become a staple in your collection that you fall in love with over and over again.
Mistress Kay has a fondness for all things sexual. With a house that's quickly running out of room for all of her reading and vibrating pleasures, she spends her free time reading, writing, and learning about the sexual universe with her partners. She can be reached at Kinky World.