The Top 10 BDSM Toys for Beginners

If you’re new to BDSM, all of the equipment options can be overwhelming. It’s important to have all of the essentials ready before starting any scene, but what toys should you have at your disposal and where do you get them?

I can help! The following 10 items should be in every BDSM toy bag. Why? Because they allow for versatility in terms of intensity, play style and investment. Plus, they will get you through almost any type of scene. Best of all, they are great for beginners and experienced players alike, which means these are tools you can use for years to come.

A Blindfold

Sensory deprivation is often a cornerstone of BDSM scenes. When one sense is removed, the others become magnified. Take away the ability to see and suddenly every sound, smell, touch and taste becomes a titillating, mysterious adventure. For some, eye and head cover also go hand and hand with objectification and dehumanization.

You have many options for eye coverings. Sex toy retailers offer a wide selection from basic blindfolds to fancy hoods. Items around your home like a sleep mask or a wide silk scarf tied around the eyes are less expensive and equally effective options. My partner and I are fans of using over-the-head style Halloween masks that significantly restrict vision without completely obscuring it. Not only does this allow comfort for those who may not like full masks, it is ideal for role play or humiliation play depending on what type of mask you choose.

A Gag

Another sense you can remove from your sub is their ability to speak. Ball gags stuff the mouth, but depending on the size, they can be difficult for people with jaw and mouth issues (although there are some great beginner ball gags out there). Some find bar gags or small, soft open mouth o-ring gags a better option in this case. Of course, you can always use a scarf tied around the head and between the lips like a bar gag. In lieu of a ball gag, stuff your partner's mouth with your panties instead.

Restraints

This is another item commonly seen in kinky scenes, and the options are plentiful. Bondage tape is one of my favorite types of restraints because it’s inexpensive, easy to use, disposable, and is designed to only stick to itself. Soft, basic, Velcro closure wrist and/or ankle cuffs are also great for starters. If you’re interested in rope play, pick up cotton clothesline from the home improvement store (as general rule, stay away from nylon and man-made materials), it works just as well as some of the fancy rope made specifically for bondage.

Zip ties and handcuffs are things you should steer clear of as a beginner because they can tighten on their own and uncomfortably pinch the wrists, potentially causing nerve damage. Duct tape can tear and irritate the skin - and rip out hair - so avoid that too.

Wartenberg Pinwheel

The Wartenberg pinwheel is a wonderful sensation play toy that is a must for everyone's kinky tool kit. Pinwheels look like small pizza cutters, but have tiny spikes on the end around the wheel. To use a Wartenberg wheel, roll it firmly but gently across your lover’s skin. If you apply a great amount of pressure, it’s possible to pierce the skin. Be sure to test it on yourself to find the right touch before trying it on others. It’s great to use paired up with sensory deprivation and feels best rolled over tender areas like nipples, the back of the neck, inside of the thighs, etc.

Body Clamps

Clamps offer so many possibilities. They can be used on the labia, testicles, tongues and lips, and other parts of the body. Adjustable, tweezer-style clamps have the lightest grip while Japanese clover clamps are intended for those who can tolerate a lot of pressure. One of the best things to use as starter clamps are simple wooden clothes pins. (Check out my articles on genital clamps for men and genital clamps for women to learn more.)