23 Tips for Maintaining a Healthy Relationship With Your Vibrator

When it comes to getting off, I am what you might call "pro-choice." I believe that women should have as many orgasm-inducing options at their disposal as possible. Actually, I believe that everyone and anyone should have as many orgasm-inducing options as possible at their disposal. But that's just how I roll.

Even so, there's something to be said for a vibrator. A good vibrator's erotic efficiency is a truly gratifying experience. Just turn it on and you'll be in O-Land in a few short minutes. Whether you're someone who struggles to orgasm without electronic intervention or you're just someone who loves lots of orgasms on demand, that's a pretty sweet deal.

Of course, a vibrator is more than just a way to get off. Exploring your body and your sexuality is (or, um, should be) a way of life. So how can you cultivate the best possible relationship with your trusty bed-side friend? Here are 23 tips to help.

Be Grateful

I'm not going to go so far as to say that we live in an enlightened age, but we do live in a digital one, which means that you can have any vibrator your vulva desires delivered to you in plain brown packaging. That's a far cry from earlier eras, where orgasms, or "paroxysms" as they were called at the time, had to be administered by doctors, or sex toys had to be disguised as "body massagers."

Masturbation is now endorsed as normal, healthy and even necessary, including the tools that go along with it. How's that for gratifying?

If you're still looking for a body massager/vibrator combo, you can't go wrong with a powerful wand vibrator, like the O-Wand!

Buy One

Just do it. Statistics suggest that one-third of adult American women own at least one vibrator. If you aren't one of them stop appropriating back massagers and putting your junk in front of Jacuzzi jets and buy yourself the right tool to do the job.

Vibrators are designed for pleasure. If you haven't used the real deal, you'll be impressed with what they can do. Actually, even if you have used one, you'll be impressed with what they can do.

Seek Out Body-Safe Materials

Some sex toys are made of high-quality materials. Sadly, many others are made of a toxic soup of plasticizers that can cause skin irritation and have even been linked to cancer. The highest quality vibrators are typically covered in medical-grade silicone, a silky, safe material that's also easy to clean.

Make sure you do your due diligence and purchase your toys from reliable retailers (and not from Amazon!).

Pay for Quality

You can get off with a cheap vibrator, but chances are you won't get off as well, or for as long. That's right, high-quality vibrators are more than their fancy packaging, pretty colors and sleek shapes. The best toys are typically more powerful, more thoughtfully designed and tend to last a whole lot longer than their less expensive counterparts.

You are also more likely to get a toy that's fully waterproof, rechargeable, has a warranty and is made of silicone. In other words, you're paying for a toy that gets you off better, more easily and for many years to come. Think of it as an investment in your sexual health.

Luxury sex toys come with an array of incredible features that cheaper toys can't compete with. For example, the ZALO Courage G-Spot Massager has pre-heating abilities! This G-Spot toy can heats up so that it's the perfect body temperature!

Do Your Research

Oh, but hold up. You can't just drop more than $100 on a vibrator without doing a little research. After all, a pricey toy in and of itself does not a fabulous orgasm make. That's because you need to make sure you're investing in the toy that's right for you.

Maybe you like clitoral stimulation. Maybe you prefer something insertable. Maybe you'd like to try something with suction. No matter what you enjoy, find out which toys fit the bill and how well they deliver by visiting manufacturers websites and reading reviews online.

Pay Attention to Warning Signs

You can also narrow down your sex toy wish list by using the same common sense you'd use to buy anything. The "as seen on TV" sauna pants that promise to help you lose weight? That's called too good to be true, people.

Sex toys with too many bells and whistles, or manufacturers that make huge, sweeping claims about their multi-orgasmic abilities often fall flat. The best sex toys focus on quality, design and usability - you know, the things that actually matter.

Listen and Learn

One thing many people fail to consider when choosing a vibrator is sound. If you live alone, this may not be an issue for you. If not, you'll probably feel more comfortable getting off with something that doesn't make it sound like you're having a closed-door date with a buzz saw. Test out toys at your favorite sex toy shop, or read reviews to get a sense of how noisy your toy of choice might be.

Think About Discretion

Some vibrators like, say, the Le Wand Rechargeable, while awesome, are absolutely huge and hard to hide. Others, like the We-Vibe Tango or Satisfyer Layon Dark Desire hardly resemble a sex toy at all.

The Satisfyer Layon Dark Desire looks more like a small remote or a back-up battery than it does a sex toy, which means you don't have to worry if you accidentally leave it out and about.

If you're concerned about having to explain a vibrating dong to your nosy 5-year-old, or do a lot of traveling and are worried about having to watch a TSA agent wave your toy in front of your fellow passengers, just know that there are plenty of incognito options out there too.

Pick a Toy You Can Look in the Eye

OK, vibrators don't have eyes, exactly, but pick a vibe that looks friendly and approachable to you. One that looks cute. Maybe even one that inspires you to give it a name. A lot of people do this. Like this person. And Barbara Walters. Trust me, it's a thing. The best vibes are like BFFs. Pick one that speaks to you.

Go for Waterproof

Just about any decent vibe these days should be fully waterproof. This, of course, means you can bring your little friend into the bath or shower. It also means you can properly clean that thing, which is probably a good idea considering where you will be sticking it.

Consider a waterproof G-Spot vibrator, like the LELO Mona 2, for a first-time toy. The wand shape makes it easy to hold on to during your wet adventures and its angled, tipped head is perfect for both internal and external stimulation.

Get to Know Each Other

Every vibrator is a little bit different; different shape, different settings, different buttons. So, in order to really enjoy it, you have to get to know it. Try all the different settings and speeds. Try all the different positions and angles you can think of to use it in.

Try it alone. Try it with a partner. It's only when you really get to know what your vibrator can do that you'll understand what it can do for you. Or maybe you just have a lot of time on your hands. Either way, fun times ahead!

Relax

Once you've got that high-quality, buzzing, body-safe little beauty of your choice in hand, it's easy to get excited. Oh god, yes.

Relax.

Seriously. Clenching makes a great orgasm very hard to come by. Just take some deep breaths and enjoy the ride.