Your best bet for boosting your carnal self-knowledge is a fully-loaded sex toy kit. A women’s kit might contain several shapes and sizes of vibrators, wands, and anal toys. A kit for men might have several sizes of cock rings and anal toys, a penis pump, and a plush masturbator. If you can’t find a kit that is comprehensive enough for your preferences, make your own! Browse the top-sellers in your sex toy store of choice and put together a group of toys based on your interests. Don’t forget to read the user reviews. They can really help to nudge you in the right direction.
Our Relationships Need Variety and "Spice"
Have a three-way! Experiment with foreplay! I won’t bother listing divorce rate statistics (spoiler alert: they’re depressing), but one of the most common pieces of advice from relationship experts is for couples to keep the spice alive with communication and to make time for romance. Why not spend a few hours together scouring through Kinkly and reading about positions or toys you’ve never tried to see what turns both of you on? You might get fired up by something you never knew existed!
For example, maybe oral sex has been consistently great, but you’ve been using the same fail-proof moves for months. Why not bring a vibrating tongue ring into the mix as foreplay? It slides onto your tongue to add tons of sexy, novel sensation and stimulation for your partner (perfect for both men and women). What if both of you love the idea of a three-way, but hate the idea of bringing a third person into the bedroom? Get your man a masturbator or bring something extra for her pleasure. Dildos can be phallic and realistic, or creatively designed for different kinds of stimulation. Masturbators can be downright stylish these days.
We Need to Slow Down
As Ferris Bueller once said, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop to look around once in a while, you could miss it." For those of us living in the U.S. (and nearly every other industrialized nation), a hectic, technology-filled lifestyle has us juggling more than we can handle. To counteract the often toxic effects of an over-stimulating lifestyle, many people turn to meditation - a practice largely based in practicing mindfulness, or focusing fully in the present moment.
Get the best of both worlds by practicing meditative masturbation. Instead of letting your mind drift to a million different places, just focus as fully as possible on the present moment, concentrating on how everything feels, right down to the last detail. A hands-free toy will prevent you from multi-tasking. It’s like when you take your time to savor a meal, rather than just scarfing it down. It’s super satisfying, and strangely grounding. Think of it as a mini-vacation for your mind. If you’re like most Americans, you’re due for at least a few moments where you aren’t worrying about...anything at all.
Oh, and while these points were tailored around the stressors of U.S. culture, the benefits of healthy masturbation can be applied to just about anyone. And if a sex toy makes that experience more satisfying, well, how can you argue with that?