Threesomes: they’re a common fantasy, but that doesn’t make them any easier. No matter the state of your relationship­ - open, monogamous, polyamorous, etc. - it can be really difficult to find someone who jives right with the partner you're looking to have some fun with. And for many people, bringing someone new into the bedroom is fraught with emotional complexity. (For tips on how to navigate a true threesome, check out Your First Time In a Threesome.)


Non­monogamy in any form is a complex thing in our society. It takes a lot of communication. It can be challenging. It can be scary. It can make you jealous. It can rock your relationship to the core. For some couples, these risks are worthwhile; for others, the baggage that can come with a threesome is just too intimidating.


Free Fleshlight Lube worth $6.99 with selected FleshlightsFor those who are on the fence about whether to experiment with a new fantasy, there's one very safe way to enjoy some of the elements of a threesome without all the fuss: Simulate it with sex toys.

Can a sex toy stand in for partner No.3?

Not exactly, but it does give couples the opportunity to get a better idea of what they're looking for in a threesome fantasy, and to communicate those things with their partners. It's also a way to test drive you and your partner's feelings about new types of play before bringing another person into the mix.



Whether you’re fantasizing about double penetration, watching your partner or having your partner watch you, sex toys offer plenty of options. So let's run through some of the common threesome fantasies and how you can enjoy a simulated experience, whether as a precursor to the real thing, or something new and fun all on its own. (That part's up to you!)



Double Penetration

Double penetration is a common fantasy that comes with threesomes. If there's one sex toy that'll do the trick, it's a harness made by SpareParts HardWear. It's made so that someone with a penis can wear it, either equipping it with two dildos or pulling their penis through one of the holes. You can, of course, also use a regular strap-on and a separate dildo depending on what you prefer.



Watching Each Other Perform

Watching your partner is a common fantasy, so rather than watch them with another partner, why not watch them enjoy a toy? In terms of penetrative toys, if you’re going for a threesome vibe, nothing beats a realistic dildo. The silicone dual-density toys from the Tantus O2 line and Vixen Creations (VixSkin) are the best out there for the job, and come in sizes ranging from very small (Vixen’s Spur) to very large (Tantus’ Max O2). You can find a wide variety of products that are realistic, but these are definitely some of the ones I recommend most often. Although they are pricey, they’re top-notch products that won’t degrade or cause any irritation.



If you’re looking for a toy that can be penetrated, there are a few "realistic" options made of silicone, which tends to be the best choice because it’s hypoallergenic and will last a long, long time­ (unlike other, less expensive materials). It can also be sterilized. The only "realistic" silicone toys that you can penetrate on the market are actually fantasy toys by a company called Bad Dragon. These aim to simulate anthropomorphic huskies, dragons and mares. They are high quality though, so I’d urge you to give them a chance. (Remember that you don’t have to think of them as animals if you don’t want to­ ... but maybe you do, and that’s also fine!) Other than that, the best company for a realistic looking toy that you can penetrate would be Fleshlight, which makes a large range of looks and textures, and even adds a fantasy element with porn star casts. These toys do require some maintenance, so keep that in mind when buying them.



Lovehoney

So, What's Your Threesome Fantasy?

Once you get the toys, the fantasy is up to you. Talk to your partner, see how you want to


incorporate your new "friend" into your play, and feel free to experiment. It might be a little awkward at first. The key is to build up the fantasy in your minds and with words. Once you get that little world going, things can only get hotter from there. Plus, once it's all over, you won't have to worry about jealousy, hurt feelings or who gets to use the shower first.