Threesomes: they’re a common fantasy, but that doesn’t make them any easier. No matter the state of your relationship­ - open, monogamous, polyamorous, etc. - it can be really difficult to find someone who jives right with the partner you're looking to have some fun with. And for many people, bringing someone new into the bedroom is fraught with emotional complexity. (For tips on how to navigate a true threesome, check out Your First Time In a Threesome.)

Non­monogamy in any form is a complex thing. It takes a lot of communication. It can be challenging. It can be scary. It can make you jealous. It can rock your relationship to the core. For some couples, these risks are worthwhile; for others, the baggage that can come with a threesome is just too intimidating.

For those who are on the fence about whether to experiment with a new fantasy, there's one very safe way to enjoy some of the elements of a threesome without all the fuss: Simulate it with sex toys.

Can a sex toy stand in for partner No.3?

A sex toy can never replace a person, but it does give couples the opportunity to get a better idea of what they're looking for in a threesome fantasy, and to communicate those things with their partners. It's also a way to test drive you and your partner's feelings about new types of play before bringing another person into the mix.

Whether you’re fantasizing about double penetration, watching your partner or having your partner watch you, sex toys offer plenty of options. So let's run through some of the common threesome fantasies and how you can enjoy a simulated experience, whether as a precursor to the real thing, or something new and fun all on its own. (That part's up to you!)

The Double Penetration Fantasy

Double penetration is a common fantasy that comes with threesomes. There are a few ways to simulate this, but a dildo, an anal plug or beads, or a vibrator can all contribute. For example, try using a rabbit vibe like the OhMiBod Fuse while your partner works the back door for you!

Watching Each Other Perform

Watching your partner can be so sexy, but rather than watch them with another partner, why not watch them enjoy a sex toy? In terms of penetrative toys, if you’re going for a threesome vibe, nothing beats a realistic dildo. But you can also use a vibrator or, if you're watching a partner with a penis, a top-quality masturbator like the Fleshlight Launch, which can be paired with sleeves molded from porn stars (now how's THAT for a threesome fantasy?)

Enjoy Interactive Content

In more recent years, a whole new option for threesome fantasies has emerged: interactive erotic content. From the perspective of the person who's enjoying it, this is the closest you can get to making it feel like there really is a third person in the room. Just add a VR headset and some of the erotic content of your choice. If you watch the headset and use an interactive toy paired with it, like the Kiiroo Onyx, while your partner works over another part of your body, it'll be easy to forget you don't have two partners in the room. So sexy!

So, what's your threesome fantasy?

Once you get the toys, the fantasy is up to you. Talk to your partner, see how you want to incorporate your new "friend" into your play, and feel free to experiment. It might be a little awkward at first. The key is to build up the fantasy in your minds and with words. Once you get that little world going, things can only get hotter from there. Plus, once it's all over, you won't have to worry about jealousy, hurt feelings or who gets to use the shower first.