We often have a look at the search terms people enter into our site. It's part of our business, but it's also an effort to get to know our readers better. What are you into? What you searching for that we haven't covered? What are we missing? We've learned some interesting and important things. But we were a bit surprised to see a number of searches for:
"How to use a vibrator."
Our first reaction to that was kind of, like, really? I mean, don't you just kind of turn the thing on and ... apply it ... to the affected area?
But then we thought about it some more, and it's actually a really good question. Because, of course, we shouldn't just be interested in using a vibrator in a way that works, or that makes us feel pretty good, we should know how to use one to the best of its abilities, and to make us feel great. After all, making us feel awesome is what sex toys are all about.
So, here we answer one of your top questions about how to use a vibrator.
Rather than get all preachy and telling you where to stick it, why don't we start this thing out right by making it very, very clear that there is no one right way to use any sex toy. Many vibrators are designed to do certain things, such as stimulate the G-spot, or simulate or oral sex on the clitoris, but the truth is that people can - and often do - find fun "off-label" ways to play with these toys too. And that is totally cool. People and their preferences are unique, so one of the best ways to use any sex toy is to experiment and follow what feels good to you. If you prefer the powerful rumble of that G-spot vibe on your clitoris, that's just fine. If you're using a sex toy and you're feeling awesome, you're doing it right, regardless of what it says on the package.
(Note, however, that there are few caveats here when it comes to safety. This means you'll have to avoid things like putting porous toys or toys without a flared base in your butt. Got it? Play on.)
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Whether you're trying out a new vibrator or turning to an old favorite, it's easy to get lazy. There! It's on! It's working! But a lot of sex toys have a lot of different features, speeds and settings that can be a lot of fun. Test out your toy on your hand to discover all the things it can do. Yeah, you could test it out on more sensitive erogenous areas, but it's really easy to get distracted and, you know, have an orgasm, before you get through all your vibe's nifty settings.
You'll often hear sex toy manufacturers and reviewers touting a toy's vibrating "power." And, to be fair, a powerful vibrator can be a really amazing thing. However, for many people, really strong vibration, particularly against the clitoris, can be overwhelming - and even unpleasant. If you aren't too sure about the level of power that you need, start on the lowest setting. This will help get your body warmed up and accustomed to the sensation. Physiologically, arousal increases your ability to withstand more intense stimulation. Allowing that arousal to happen to slowly can also help you build to a bigger, better climax. Too much stimulation too soon can also result in a numb feeling, which can really kill the mood, so start out on a low setting and work your way up.
OK, so remember how we said you can get creative and come up with your own way of using your vibrator? Well this one takes it one step further. Instead of being focused on your typical erogenous zones, try expanding your exploration to your hips, stomach breasts and whatever feels good. We often think of our so called "private parts" as our only sexual areas, but the rest of the body can produce amazing sensations - even orgasm - if we're open to it. (Get more tips in The 6 Most Underrated Erogenous Zones.)
If there's one universal sex tip out there that'll help boost pleasure for just about anyone in any kind of sex act it's use lube. You might remember to do this if you're using your vibrator internally, but it works wonders when you're using it externally as well. You may not notice it, but vibration does create a bit of its own friction. Using lube can help reduce this, prevent irritation, allow you to play longer and ultimately make your play time that much more pleasurable. Try it!
A lot sex advice is focused around tips like "tease your clitoris" or "massage your G-spot," but it can be pretty hard to do those things when you aren't quite sure where they are. A lot of people don't have a good sense of their own anatomy, where erogenous zones like the G-spot and perineal sponge are, or how to arouse them. Do some research here. Once you know your body, you'll be more empowered to explore it to find your pleasure.
We often think of vibrators as a solo tool. You know, for when you don't have a partner. But that is a pretty limited way of thinking about all the things these toys can do. Almost any vibe can be used for some sort of couples' play, whether that means a partner using it on you, or slipping it between the two of you during sex for a little extra oomph. We have some great tips on couples' vibrators, as well as the etiquette for bringing a vibrator into couples' play. So put that on your list of great ways to put your little vibrating friend to good use.
How do you use your vibrator? Share some tips with us in the comments!
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Sex is a bit like a secret society; everyone's doing it, it's just that no one talks about it. Kinkly's mission is to start that conversation, answer your questions and help you discover new and exciting things about sex, love and your body. We guarantee it'll be illuminating, enlightening, fun ... and a little kinky. And that's OK with us.
No innuendos, no judgments and no apologies, just fearless, straight-up talk about sex.
