It's fun, it's free, it's good for you, and it doesn't require anyone else! There aren't a whole lot of things on this Earth that can check all of those boxes, but masturbation is one of them. Not only is masturbation good for your mental and physical health, but it can make a huge difference with your sexual pleasure down the line too - talk about some lasting benefits!
If you're shy, don't be! Self-pleasure (aka masturbation!) isn't just something fun to do; it's also one of the easiest ways to improve your sex life with a partner. When you know your body and its pleasure pathways, you're better able to communicate that with a partner.
Never stop exploring your sexual pleasure. Even when you find the things that are ultra-orgasmic for you, don't get "stuck" in a rut where it's the only type of sexual stimulation you seek out.
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When you know what feels good - and what doesn't - you will know what's an abnormal sensation - and what sensations are likely to help you to climb to orgasm. (If you have reservations about doing pleasure for your own sake, I hope the idea of being a more active partner in a future, coupled sex life can help convince you!) Obviously, one of the easiest ways to pleasure yourself for most people - no matter your anatomy - is your hands. They're free, they're always there, and they have the dexterity that other items around your house won't. If you already know what pleasure you want from your hands, that's awesome: do that! (As a bonus, either of these two sensations can be done while clothed if necessary!)
Whether you're brand new to self-pleasure or an established pro, you might be looking for some tips to make your solo pleasure sessions even better - and that's what I'm here for.
If you aren't sure, though, there are a couple of techniques I'd recommend to start exploring the pleasure your clitoris can provide.
First, there's the pleasure of tapping. Use your pointer and middle finger, group them together, and gently pat the top of the vulva where the "slit" ends. You might find this pleasurable already - and you can increase or decrease the speed or the intensity of the tapping to make it even more pleasurable. If this isn't doing it for you, consider using your other hand to gently spread the labia to expose the clitoris a bit more. That will leave it open to more stimulation from the tapping.
Other people enjoy the sensation of grinding and full-palm stimulation. Instead of using two fingers for a tapping sensation, press all of the fingers together on one hand, and use that to press firmly against the vulva with a focus towards pressure on the side closest to your bellybutton. From there, you can push this hand against yourself, grind against your hand, move your hand back and forth, and more. It's all about experimenting to help you find what feels best on your body. When the good feelings come, keep doing that - and make micro-adjustments from there to see if you can get the pleasure to keep going - or increase in intensity.
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There's a reason there are thousands upon thousands of vibrators out there - specifically built to pleasure vaginas. It's because they work. Even if you've located the clitoris and pleasured it into oblivion, there are a lot of people who still can't achieve orgasm with hands alone.
And that's perfectly normal! That's why vibrators and sex toys exist - just for your pleasure. Think of them like "tools" to help you achieve your end goal of orgasm. After all, nobody considers it "cheating" that your local mechanic uses hydraulic lifts to make it easier to work underneath the car. It's just a tool that they need in order to do their job to the best of their ability. Think of your sex toys that way; another way to make the activity easier and better for you.
If you're looking to pleasure the clitoris, wand massagers are generally the way to go. They have some of the most-intense power out there - and their large, rounded head offers a broad surface that can make it hard to "miss" the clitoris.
Of course, there are lots of smaller handheld vibrators that can get the job done as well. It just depends on what you're looking for in a sex toy! (We have quite a few guides to help you select the perfect vibe for you). Of course, going straight for orgasm is totally awesome - and really required sometimes. But bypassing the rest of your body just to race to orgasm is definitely providing you a disservice. There are a lot of other erogenous zones on the body just waiting to be taken advantage of. If that isn't enough of a reason to explore yourself, consider this: if you know what areas are most pleasurable for you, you'll be able to help future partners hit those areas, too.
Trail your fingers along your neck and against your collarbones. Do it sensually - like a lover mesmerized by the new, bare skin they're allowed to explore. Consider cupping the nipples and tissue around the areola. Lots of people enjoy squeezing - and flicking of the nipples.
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Grip your inner thighs with passion, and explore the idea of teasing yourself before you dive straight into your pleasure centres. You have a whole lot of body to explore - and every inch of it can increase your pleasure and make that final orgasm even more explosive!
(Protip: This can be a lovely exercise in self-love and body-positivity, too!) If you're a card-carrying member of the "I Fuck Myself" club, you probably have a masturbation routine - just like everything else in our lives. Maybe you just pull out a vibrator in bed right before it's time to go to bed. Maybe you masturbate first thing in the morning to start your day on a good start. Maybe you end a rough workday with a good masturbation session on the couch with your phone.
Whatever the case is, you can instantly add more intensity to your pleasure purely by switching up your regular routine. It's as simple as that. Masturbate somewhere new - or at a different time than usual - or with a different method than usual. It might be more "challenging" to achieve orgasm - but remember you can always go back to your tried-and-true favorites next time.
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Do you know what's fun? Challenging yourself to try new things - and feeling pretty awesome when you meet those "sex challenges" head-on. Almost all of us can do something for seven days - or 30 days - no matter how busy we are. Meeting challenges and "goals" activates some of the pleasure centers in our brains - which can be a lovely bonus on top of all of the self-exploration and pleasure you're going to get in the process of achieving your challenge!
Some challenges I might recommend:
- Masturbate every day for a time period
- Masturbate in a new place every day for a time period
- Masturbate every day for a time period - but no orgasms are allowed until the last day
- Use insertable toys with your masturbation every day for a time period
- Only use clitoral toys for masturbation for a time period
- Use anal toys with your masturbation every day for a time period
- Achieve orgasm as quickly as possible (time yourself) every day for a time period to find your "fastest"
- Require yourself to masturbate for a prolonged time period every day for a time period
- Use a new sex toy every day for a time period
I know you've seen the jokes about washing machines and sexual pleasure - but they're jokes because they're true. There are actually a lot of things around your home that can be used for sexual pleasure - if you so choose. There are lots of ways to orgasm around water; turns out, water pressure can be a great "sex toy" to take advantage of.
There's the washer - especially on the spin cycle. Position yourself over one of its corners, lean onto the machine with the clitoris on top of the corner, and enjoy the ride. The sensations won't likely work for every body out there (so if yours isn't having it, don't sweat it!), but a lot of people swear by this masturbation method.
Don't forget about other household items too. The clitoris can respond really well to grinding - on virtually any surface, really. Bunched up pillows or clothes are always a favorite - and some people love the arms of their couch with a towel on it.
During a bath, turn the faucet on, and slide yourself under the spigot. The running water on top of the clitoris can be orgasmic for a lot of people! (If you can't pretzel yourself under the spigot, some people can find the same success laying on the floor of the shower with their shower-head on some of the pulsing settings.)
If you have a handheld shower-head, even better! A handheld shower-head just essentially became a fun, new clitoral toy that can be directed exactly where you need it.
When using your shower and bath water to masturbate, consider messing around with the water pressure, the shower-head water pressure settings, and temperature. They can all make a difference - and help you push towards orgasm at a moment's notice. (Just be careful not to burn yourself!)
Of course, if you're one of the lucky few who have access to a hot tub, we all know that hot tub jets can be fantastic clitoral pleasurers. Just keep it outside the body. Especially if you don't own the hot tub, I don't recommend using insertable toys (due to bacterial concerns in the water that can cause infections), but you can get away with clitoral pleasure all day. If you want to use your favorite dildo, I recommend a quick shower before you start playing, but if you can't wait, at least hopping to the side of the hot tub and using some cleansing wipes should help reduce the risk of infections.
(I don't recommend making water pleasure your primary way of orgasm - if only because it might take quite a bit of water to accomplish what you're looking for. But as a great way to switch things up and/or help you discover new methods of pleasure, I'm all for water-based orgasms!)
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Almost all of the masturbation out there takes place in your own home - which, y'know, makes sense. But if you're looking to up the ante on your foreplay, might I recommend taking some of your sexual pleasure outside of the home? If you've primarily focused on the clitoris and vagina at this point, you probably know exactly how much pleasure these areas can bring - and guess what? There's another erogenous zone that can be just as pleasurable: the butt! The biggest tip I can offer you? Never stop exploring. Even when you find the things that are ultra-orgasmic for you, don't get "stuck" in a rut where it's the only type of sexual stimulation you seek out.
Depending on the effort level and comfort level, you make this as simple - or as complicated - as you like. Pull up - and read - an erotic story while at the park - or on the bus. You can wear kegel exerciser balls to the grocery store for added sensations. You can try some naughty texting - and naughty sexting from the bathroom - with someone you're into while you're out shopping. You can wear a panty vibrator while out for the evening - or even just wear it out to a busy restaurant.
It's up to you and how far you want to take it, but just switching up your foreplay locations can make your masturbation sessions feel even hotter when you make it back home.
With the explosion of low-priced, anal-safe beginner's anal toys, getting a cheap anal toy is just a click away. Pair it with some lube, go slow, and you have an entirely new erogenous zone just waiting to be explored. (And don't worry! We're here to help you begin your anal journey too!)
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Be willing to try new sensations, new toys, new locations, new porn, and new times of day - that's what keeps everything about masturbation from feeling too monotonous. (And, of course, you get to take the "data" with you for even more pleasure next time you slide open your legs to masturbate!)
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Mistress Kay
Mistress Kay has a fondness for all things sexual. With a house that's quickly running out of room for all of her reading and vibrating pleasures, she spends her free time reading, writing, and learning about the sexual universe with her partners. She can be reached at Kinky World.
