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SEXUAL HEALTH

Your Erotic Blueprint: The Sex Tool You Never Knew You Needed

Published: JUNE 15, 2022
Whether you're energetic, sensual, sexual, kinky or a shapeshifter, finding your erotic blueprint may be just what you need to put that spark back into your love life.

Wouldn’t it be awesome if you knew your partner’s turn-ons and what buttons to push to give them exquisite pleasure and amazing orgasms, even in a brand-new relationship?

Turns out, there might be!

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Erotic blueprints are a tool individuals and lovers can use to find their sexual personalities. According to the erotic blueprint theory, this can take your sex life from ordinary to epic—because your erotic blueprint teaches you how to turn on your biggest sex organ: your brain.

READ: 8 Ways to Turn Yourself on for More Satisfying Sex.

You may have heard of erotic blueprints from the Netflix lifestyle-based reality TV series "Sex, Love, and Goop," in which couples learned how to enhance their sex lives with Gwyneth Paltrow and her team of sexperts. One couple, Damon and Erika, experienced an erotic awakening under the guidance of somatic sexologist educator Jaiya, who turned them on to their erotic blueprints. And, wow, did sparks fly!

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What is an Erotic Blueprint?

An erotic blueprint is a subtype of the erotic blueprint model.

Jaiya, a sex educator who has spent 20 years studying what turns people on, developed the erotic blueprint model. You can think of it like a “love map,” or a sexual archetype, that helps individuals discover their primary erotic style. This includes what gives you pleasure and orgasms, how you are emotionally and psychologically wired for certain types of stimulation, fantasies and kinks plus your “Oh Yeahs” and “Fuck Nos”.

READ: Not Really My Thing: When Your Partner Reveals Kinks You Don't Share.

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What is My Erotic Blueprint?

The five primary erotic blueprint styles are:

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  • Energetic.
  • Sensual.
  • Sexual.
  • Kinky.
  • Shapeshifter.

However, your “pleasure profile” can consist of one or several types.

Here's a description of each erotic blueprint style according to the erotic blueprint theory:

Energetic

The energetic type is hypersensitive and empathic.

Individuals with this erotic blueprint are said to be able to “ride the waves” of their partner’s pleasure and arousal as a shared experience of connectedness. Sexually, the theory goes that they can experience full-body, non-genital, touchless energy orgasms and out-of-body experiences in which they feel a deep connection to the cosmos.

Jaiya says energetic types are the sexual world's "Jedi Knights": able to go into erotic trance-like states of arousal. For them, says the theory, sex is more of a transformational, spiritual experience. This type enjoys anticipation and teasing, eye gazing, connected breathing with their partner, and sacred sexuality like Tantric or Taoist sexual practices.

However, these erotic blueprint types may also be susceptible to what's called the "Energetic Shadow": a state in which excess emotional energy causes them to shut down.

Sensual

The sensual type is multi-sensory and gets off by exploring all their senses—taste, smell, touch, sight and hearing—as their path to orgasmic ecstasy.

In theory, creating the right mood and atmosphere is important to this erotic blueprint type. Candles, music, erotic foods and sensations may all be turn-ons. Sensualists may be multi-orgasmic and even get off from the simple pleasure of eating delicious fruit or watching a sunset. They may be slower to warm up and build arousal and so favor lots of foreplay, romance, teasing and slow, lingering touch.

The shadow side of the sensual eroitc blueprint type—"The Sensual Shadow"—is that they may suffer from spectatoring: trouble getting out of their head and into their body during sex.

Sexual

The sexual erotic blueprint type is said to be interested in one thing: genital sex.

They have a high libido and need sex often. They are sexual hedonists who are playful, easy to arouse and quick to climax. They like using sex toys and porn for arousal, and naked bodies are pure erotic eye candy for them.

READ: Someone Finally Surveyed Women Who Watch Porn.

The theory goes that sexual erotic blueprint types can enjoy all aspects of sexual pleasure: oral, anal, self-pleasure and penetrative sex.

"The Sexual Shadow" is that this type can be too goal-orientated and focused on the "end result" (orgasm). Because of this, they may miss the sensual journey of erotic exploration or may get impatient with foreplay and be unable to connect with their partner’s needs.

Kinky

Kinky types enjoy exploring the taboo, according to the erotic blueprint theory.

While what is ordinarily termed "kinky sex" and "BDSM" fall into this spectrum, something anal sex may be just as taboo for a kinky erotic blueprint type and therefore be a turn-on. “Kinkies” are said to enjoy forbidden experiences, exploring sensations, psychological power dynamics in a relationship and pushing the edges of play. All forms of BDSM can be exciting to this subtype, including pain and pleasure, bondage, domination and submission and sadomasochism.

The erotic blueprint theory divides kinky erotic blueprint types into two categories:

  1. Psychological-based kinky.
  2. Sensation-based kinky.

Kinky individuals may get thrills from erotic games, performance, play, mental stimulation, fantasy and roleplay. They are known to be very creative and can find deep healing and transformation through kinky experiences.

But, like the others, this erotic blueprint type is said to have a shadow. The Kinky Shadow is that kinkies can harbor feelings of deep shame in connection to their taboo desires and may become closeted because of their fear of being exposed.

READ: Healing from Purity Culture.

Shapeshifter

The erotic blueprint theory states that shapeshifter types have an enormous appetite for variety and encompass the qualities of all the other types.

They are also said to be compatible with the other erotic blueprints and therefore are the ultimate fantasy lovers. Shapeshifters are “erotically intelligent, sophisticated, and complex” and are empathetic lovers. They may be creative, explorative, and transformative, indulging in various pleasures on a whim and certainly never boring. They are multi-orgasmic and can experience orgasm and pleasure in diverse ways.

What's the Shapeshifter’s Shadow? Due to their compacity for a variety of sexual experiences, this erotic blueprint type can become easily bored, frustrated, dissatisfied or even confused by their desires. The theory states that, if they can’t satisfy all their yearnings with one partner, they may seek out sex elsewhere.

Why is Knowing My Erotic Blueprint Important?

Knowing your erotic blueprint “open[s] new possibilities for [one’s] erotic empowerment and sexual satisfaction,” says Jaiya.

If you're interested in discovering your erotic blueprint, you can take the Erotic Blueprint quiz on Jaiya’s site. If you have a partner, you might try exploring your erotic styles together to turn up the heat in the bedroom and make your sexy time sizzle.

According to Jaiya, sexual incompatibility is a myth. She believes knowing your erotic blueprint—and your lover's, if you have one—helps improve communication and creates more sexual intimacy and passion in your relationship.

The erotic blueprint theory holds that this leads to more pleasure, higher states of arousal and, yes, even more expansive orgasms.

(Yes, please!)

READ: When Coming Becomes Routine: How to Have a Better Orgasm.

Where Do I Go From Here?

Once you discover your personalized pleasure profile and your partner's, if you have one, you can begin to apply that knowledge during play.

According to Jaiya, many people who have taken the quiz have reported how transformative it has been, helping them enjoy more satisfying, fulfilling sex lives.

You never know: Finding your erotic blueprint may be just what you need to put that sexy spark back into your love life!

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Photo for Domina Doll
Domina Doll

Domina Doll is a Passion, Pleasure, and Empowerment Expert, a Sex Witch, and Manifesting Alchemist whose passion is helping women harness their sexual superpowers so they can manifest their desires using sexual energy (aka sex magick).

She has been published in Cosmo, Bustle, Nylon.com, YourTango, Scandalous Woman, and Women’s Health. Domina is the former Managing Editor of Sexpert.com and currently Lovehoney’s official Pleasure Empowerment Expert, as well as Managing Editor at Pleazeme.com’s Blog.

Domina honors the traditional Indigenous lands and unceded territory of her ancestors, the Mi'kma'ki First Nation, in what is now known as present-day Nova Scotia, Canada. She hails from the bloodlines of Celtic Druids, Welsh Witches, and Mi’kmaq Chiefs.


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