Sex toys and products

What Makes a Good Couples’ Sex Toy?

Published: FEBRUARY 11, 2020 | Updated: JULY 27, 2020
Sex toys don’t have to just be solo-specific—they can be a tremendous addition to many couples’ sexytimes!

What is your first thought of “a sex toy in use?” Did you immediately picture a hot, solo session?


For many people, sex toys are considered self-love selections—the lovers you bring out when you’re on your own. They are the most trusted hook-up you can wish for!

The thing is, while sex toys have long been associated with masturbation, they’ve never been restricted to solo use. However, since the connotation of sex toy = self-pleasure is so strong, some folks have parked their toys securely in the solo zone.

In reality, sex toys don’t have to just be solo-specific—they can be a tremendous addition to many couples’ sexy-times!


Bringing a sex toy into bed can revolutionize your sex life by adding new physical sensations as well as increased communication and intimacy.

Check out these five factors that make your couple's toy experiences great!

1. Sparks the Conversation

The key to any great sexual relationship is communication. Being able to openly discuss your desires, your likes, your dislikes and your boundaries is fundamental to establishing and maintaining a connection that is full thrills and chills.


The first step in buying a couple’s sex toy is communicating. You have to check out what is available and have some sexy conversations about what you find.

So, how does that conversation go? Where do you start? Well, you’re talking about sex, so the main factors are pleasure and intimacy. What kind of pleasure are you both looking for? What turns each of you on? What are each of you not interested in?

While you’re talking through what your ideal couple's sex toy might look like, check out some trusted sites, look up reviews and, if possible, visit a sex shop that carries toys you can touch and look at.


2. It’s Got The Look

The aesthetics of sex toys have come a long way in the past twenty years. In the past, the design of sex toys was often pretty narrow. Vibrators looked like plain, hard tubes and dildos were poor artistic renditions of penises. As sextech evolved, toys were bedazzled with rotating beads, vibrating tendrils and buttons galore. They achieved more of a sci-fi alien buzz to them.

Now, if these are your jam, great! However, as companies started to consider couples of different sexualities, they realized the look and feel of sex products needed a makeover.

While there will also be people who are turned on by realistic, futuristic or fantastical looking sex toys, a safer bet when purchasing as a couple is to seek out toys that are visually appealing for both people.


Many couples' toys feature smooth lines and discreet shapes that prioritize function over fetish. These qualities give toys an inclusive look that can be sexy for everyone.

We-Vibe Chorus vibrator with remote

[We-Vibe is one of the world's most well-known producers of quality, orgasmic couples' vibrators. We-Vibe toys are sleek and sexy, like the new We-Vibe Chorus pictured above, which comes with a touch-responsive remote to help accent your play even more!


3. How Will We Use It?

Let’s get down to the nitty gritty: what do you want your couple's sex toy to do for the two of you? What sensations do you both want to enjoy? How do the two of you have sex and how can the two of you shimmy a sex toy into this equation?

A great place to start is by checking out two of the most versatile couples' sex toys: insertable vibrators and vibrating cock rings. These two types of products can used in conjunction with penises, dildos, strap-ons and more! Consider these possibilities!

An insertable vibrator can stimulate one person’s G-spot or prostate internally and their clitoris or perineum externally, while at the same time, provide amazing sensations for a penis that is penetrating a vagina or anus. If you’re using a dildo or strap-on, the external vibrator can provide sensation back to the body of the person using it.

We-Vibe Sync vibrator

[We-Vibe Sync was designed to be worn during intercourse to provide stimulation to both the G-spot and the clitoris!]

On the other hand, a vibrating cock ring is all about external pleasure and can be used to stimulate the clitoris, vulva, anus, penis, scrotum, perineum and any combination of the above!

We-Vibe Verge vibrating cock ring

[Verge by We-Vibe is a vibrating cock ring designed to stimulate the perineum during any type of play.]

How many variations are you looking forward to trying?

We-Vibe Pivot vibrating cock ring

[If you're looking for a vibrating cock ring that provides clitoral stimulation as well, Pivot by We-Vibe has you covered!]

4. Comfort Is Key

It's true, any toy can be a couples' sex toy—particularly if you’ve got an active imagination! However, despite your creativity, what sets a great couples’ sex toy apart is its ease of use for both partners.

Nobody wants to be contorted into an awkward position or get carpal tunnel syndrome using a sex toy with their partner.

Another important factor to remember is that all of our bodies are different. Different shapes, different desires, different abilities. A sex toy should be a complement to the connection of those two bodies, not a hindrance.

This is why considering a couples' toy that is app-connected is a fun idea. Imagine being able to bring your partner pleasure with a simple swipe on your phone! This type of connection offers many folks the opportunity to play even if one or both of you are physically limited from doing so.

We-Vibe Chorus with remote and We-Connect App

[We-Vibe's We-Connect App allows you to control your or your partner's toy through your smart phone. Choose from any of their 15 compatible toys, like We-Vibe Chorus pictured above, and get playing!]

App-controlled toys also provide you the opportunity to play with each other no matter how much distance is between you! As long as you have internet access, you're ready to play!

5. Cost Considerations

There’s one last factor that could crop up in your initial couples' sex toy discovery sessions: how much do they cost. In this economic climate, it’s only natural to be frugal—even when it comes to your sex life.

As with any well-made, quality product, better sex toys do often cost more. So, as you discuss and consider what to buy, you should consider all of the above factors in your decision.

One of the best ways to get the most bang for your buck is to invest in a combination product that offers multiple ways to play. It can be a risk to drop a lot of dime on a sex product that offers one particular type of sensation. There are countless toys collecting dust because they “seemed” like a great idea, but that one sensation just didn’t do it for one or both of you.

On the other hand, toys that offer more than one function, or toys that can work together are a great way to explore which sensations you like best. There is a high likelihood that they will offer something for both of you to enjoy.

Here’s betting your image of “sex toy in use” just might be a little different now...

Jon Pressick

Jon Pressick is a sex-related media gadabout. For more than 20 years, Jon has been putting sex into our daily conversations at his long-running site SexInWords—as a writer, editor, publisher, sex toy reviewer, radio host, workshop facilitator, event producer and more. These days, he focuses on writing for Kinkly, GetMeGiddy, The Buzz and PinkPlayMags and editing Jason Armstrong's series of Solosexual books. In 2015, Jon edited Cleis Press' Best Sex Writing of the...

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