Since I had to take pictures of the Hummer 2.0 for this review you're reading, I figured I'd get GIFs of the toy in action. So, the Hummer 2.0 was used on an average-sized dildo to make it not-pornographic. And, honestly, you can see from the GIFs that it makes about the same movement with the sex toy as we were finding with his biological penis. I'm wondering if this is just how the Hummer 2.0 performs for most people - and that the marketing video (which shows the Hummer 2.0 easily moving in inch+ strokes) was just marketing. (If so, that's bullshit, but I've ranted more-than-enough about sex toys overpromising what they can deliver.)
Now, I will say that the remote control adds a nice touch to the VeDO Hummer 2.0. It responds fantastically. The single power button turns the Hummer 2.0 on and off - but single presses cycle through all of the patterned modes. If you press the up or down arrow, it instantly returns to pattern 1 - which means "manual mode". Sitting across a couch or across the room, it controlled the Hummer 2.0 flawlessly, and we both heard the instant response to an audible button press. So, the remote control functionality is definitely solid - especially if you planned on using it while using the toy on yourself. If it can work for me, across the room, it's got 1 foot away down perfectly.
The remote control is definitely a bit on the "necessary" side since the only other way to control the suction impulses is through the buttons on the Main Power Unit. Depending on how far away you're sitting, the Main Power Unit could easily be a foot or two away - and out of comfortable arms' reach. This makes the remote control one of the main ways you'll likely interact with the Hummer 2.0.
I will say that it's a bit odd that the vibrations for the Hummer 2.0 can only be controlled via the button on the shaft of the stroker. As someone who loves holding the remote to a toy to control all of the sensations, the fact that the vibrations are entirely separate from the remote control is a bit odd.
However, at the same time, since the vibrations are fully rechargeable and disconnected from the Main Power Unit, this means that the vibrations can be used on the sleeve even when you're using it as a manual stroker (seen in the next section). This is one of Hummer 2.0's selling points: the stroker can be used as a standard stroker for when all of the pomp and circumstance of setting up the Hummer 2.0 for hands-free use seems like too much.
Speaking of the "hands-free" aspect, though, we're not entirely sold on it. The VeDO Hummer 2.0 sleeve is heavy. Partnered with the fact that the tubing at the top of the sleeve means the sleeve pulls towards the Main Power Unit, this sleeve can end up at an odd angle when placed on top of the penis. It doesn't end up at a perfectly upright position like the marketing videos show - at least, not unless you hold the sleeve in place.
If you want to use the VeDO Hummer 2.0 hands-free, we think the only way to comfortably do it is while laying down. As you can see in the GIF, if the penis is in the upright position, the weight of the Hummer sleeve slowly pulls it down to the side. I'm not sure how that feels on every penis out there, but for my partner, that was extremely uncomfortable to have so much weight pulsating up and down on his dick.
However, when the penis is laying flat (like when the body is laying flat), this tugging of weight doesn't come into play. Since the weight of the Hummer sleeve just rests against the tummy too, it doesn't really end up at much of an angle.
So, if you want to use it while sitting or standing, expect to need to hold it. If you're in a position where the penis lays flat against the tummy, it's less of an issue.
Finally, I really recommend a good, strong erection for use with the Hummer. Not only do the instructions say so, but getting into the sleeve (especially with the suction involved) might be difficult if you're in the squishier stages. Once you're in the Hummer, we've found that the suction acts like an almost pseudo-penis pump. So, it stays hard inside of the Hummer just fine once inserted with the suction going. But to get into the sleeve itself, I'd really recommend a firm erection (and potentially a cock ring if that's what's needed for you to get that firm erection).
Weird aside but totally relevant: If you use the Hummer 2.0 for a long, long time, expect your penis to look really weird when you remove it. After an hour of non-stop use of the Hummer 2.0, the protruding textures of the sleeve had left a temporary imprint on his penis. He removed his penis to find a surprising polka-dot-like texture all over the shaft. Hilarious for me, slightly concerning for him.
So, for us, the VeDO Hummer 2.0 is going to be primarily toy we pull out when we don't want him to reach an easy, early orgasm. It draws out the pleasure in a way I don't think the manufacturer intended - but for us, that works.
Our tips for using the VeDO Hummer 2.0:
- Lay down if you want to use it hands-free - or come up with some fancy, homemade invention that holds the top of the sleeve for you.
- Use lots of lubes inside the sleeve and on your penis before use.
- If you can, straighten out the plastic tubing before your first uses. It comes coiled up, and since it's plastic tubing, it has a memory that makes it want to recoil back up. This can lead to the tip of the stroker (which is attached to this tubing) being pulled more than it needs to be. Getting that tubing flatter helps.
- Use the remote control. It makes it much easier to control the suction, and it works really well.
- If you want more fun, don't forget about the vibrations. It really does help add a lot more sensation to the experience.
How Else Could It Be Used?
VeDO built the manual use option into the Hummer 2.0. That is, the penis stroking sleeve can be entirely removed from all of the cords of the Hummer 2.0 system and used all on its own like a separate, standard penis stroker.
When we used it as a standard stroker, it works a-okay. He says that it isn't quite as stimulating as the Tenga Spinner or other Fleshlights that we own, but it isn't bad. With his own hand stroking the stroker, he can achieve orgasm easily and without any effort.
Powering on the vibrations becomes a double-whammy, and he'll quickly orgasm once the vibrations are turned on. Despite the fact that I can't control them with my remote control, I really enjoy the fact that the vibrations are separate from the Hummer 2.0 and can be used while manually stroking the toy up and down. Keeping it outside of the Main Power Unit does require you to remember to charge them - but at the same time, you can turn them on whenever for more pleasure.
If you have the mechanical know-how and the interest, I'm also imagining that the VeDO Hummer 2.0 could become the centerpiece of an automated masturbation station. All you really need is a sturdy stand to hold one of the tubes, and the stroker would automatically stand upright. Partner that with a VR headset and some really good blowjob porn, and you could easily make a set-up where you can fully immerse yourself into some seriously realistic scenes. That'd be cool.
This isn't a small toy. As you can imagine from anything that has a motorized power box and hoses, it isn't going to be something that slides easily behind the books in the bookshelf for hiding. It's a substantial toy with multiple pieces, and if one of those pieces disappears, you might have a hard time using the VeDO Hummer 2.0 until you get a replacement.
With that in mind, I highly recommend keeping all of the pieces inside the original box. Thankfully, the manufacturers knew that might be the case, and the original packaging is extremely sturdy. It's a sturdy, pull-off-lid box that's entirely black. It has the VeDO logo on top, but that's about it.
That being said, the box isn't small. It's about 2/3rds of the width of my stovetop, and it's not light. UPS put the box at 11.7 pounds when delivering it, and after removing some of the extra packaging, I'd say that 11 pounds is an accurate assessment. Almost all of that weight is in the Main Power Unit, but the point being: you can't put this on top of anything that's squishable.
a The VeDO Hummer 2.0 uses all of that weight and accessories to provide its signature suction sensation. It's hard to compare the suction intensity level - because one of the only other toys that does the same thing is over 2 times more expensive and nearly a grand. (Venus for Men). So, I'll let my previous discussion over how the suction felt become the bar for comparison here. (In a side note, the Venus for Men is so mechanical and medical-looking. I'm glad the VeDO Hummer 2.0 took a more sensual look for their toy.)
Now, the vibrations are much easier to compare. In addition to being loud, the vibrations are surprisingly powerful. They're strong enough to shake the entire stroker (pleasurably), and they're much stronger than some of the clitoral vibrators I own. Really, they seem like they're truly designed to pleasure every inch of the penis, and out of the entire Hummer 2.0, it feels like the vibrations are the most-pleasurable part of it. These are some STRONG vibrations. Not quite wand massager, but they're noticeably stronger than an average toy. They're definitely on par with some of the stronger vibrators out there.
With that power comes some noise. The VeDO Hummer 2.0 isn't a quiet toy. I wouldn't use it inside of a house with other people in it - especially not if those people are anywhere nearby the room where you're using the sex machine. The suction makes a loud-ish mechanical sound with each suction pulse. It's louder than most strokers (including the KIIROO KEON), but it's not nearly as loud as the Arcwave Ion when it isn't pressed against a penis.
The vibrations are equally as loud with a deep, deep vibrating thrum. This, too, is relatively loud and about on-par with most wand massagers (surprisingly).
Partnered with the large size, I'd say this puts the VeDO Hummer 2.0 in a category where you'd want your own space on a regular basis in order to make it a good sex toy for you. This is not going to be a great toy if you have a roommate who never leaves the house. (I'd go with a Tenga toy like the Tenga GEO for that one.)
How to Set Up the VeDO Hummer 2.0
Setting up the VeDO Hummer 2.0 has a lot of steps. It seems overwhelming when you start, but after you do it twice, you pretty much can set it up within a minute. That being said, it still isn't as simple as grabbing a stroker and going to town.
To set up the VeDO Hummer 2.0, you need to:
- Take all of the items out of the box.
- Plug the power cable into the Main Power Unit - and plug that power cable into a wall electricity outlet. The Hummer 2.0 is not rechargeable. It requires your home electricity to function!
- Push one end of the long tube into the Main Power Unit.
- Push the other end of the long tube into the funky-looking square filter.
- On the other end of that square filter, slide on one end of the smaller tube.
- Slide the other end of the smaller tube into the top of the penis stroking sleeve. Be careful not to overinsert.
- Lube yourself up - with lots of lube. This is not a toy that can handle skimping on lube.
- Now do the same for the inside of the penis stroker. You might need to squirt in a few separate dollops; the extra-textured interior of the Hummer 2.0 really works best with lots of lube.
- Slide the Hummer 2.0 sleeve on top of the penis. If the internal pressure inside the sleeve is too strong, unplug the tube at the top to slide in the penis - then plug it back in once the stroker is in place.
- Flip on the power switch on the Main Power Unit.
- If you're using the remote control, press the Plus button on the remote. They'll instantly connect to one another.
As an extra note, the first time you use it (or if you use it after an extended break), you need to do a few extra steps to calibrate the suction. It just takes a few seconds.
How It Works
So, at its most basic, the VeDO Hummer 2.0 provides two separate sensations: vibrations and suction. Each one of those sensations is powered differently, too, so let me give you a good idea about how it works.
The suction is the sensation that's powered by the Main Power Box - and the aspect that requires all of the hosing. It requires the Main Power Box to be plugged into a wall outlet.
There are two ways to control the suction: via the remote control or the buttons on the Main Power Box. Since pressing the buttons on the Main Power Box may be a bit of a reach with a sucking contraption on the penis, I highly recommend the remote control (which I'll cover below).
To control the suction on the Power Unit, there are buttons right on the unit itself. There are Power and Mode functions - each with its own + and - button, for a total of four buttons on top of the Main Power Unit. On the front of the unit, there's a digital display that shows the mode you're on (1 through 9) and a light that increases in brightness depending on how strong the suction is (1-6 levels).
This display ends up feeling a bit useless - especially if you prefer manual play. The clearly-displayed information - the Mode Number - will always be 1 if you play on manual where an increasingly brighter light won't really help you figure out when you've hit the cap of power intensities - so you end up disappointed when the next button push doesn't do anything.
However, it all works fine for controlling the suction capabilities of the Hummer 2.0 - even if I have minor gripes about what information is visually displayed.
The Remote Control
The remote control has three buttons: a power button, a plus button, and a minus button. To connect the two, just press the Plus button once while the Main Power Unit is on. This will instantly connect the two together.
It works flawlessly, and I've never had any issue with the remote control. (I'm a sucker for remote control sex toys.) It seems to work great across a room, and it works fine right next to the device. It connects easily as well. Just make sure the battery still has some juice, and it'll connect perfectly.
The remote control only controls the suction. It has nothing to do with the vibrations which are (surprisingly) an entirely separate system that has zero connection to the remote control or the suction.
The vibrations, on the other hand, come from a thick bullet vibrator that's attached to the side of the VeDO Hummer 2.0. This thick bullet isn't attached to anything on the Main Power Unit, and it's fully rechargeable, so it doesn't have any cables. This means that it can be used in the sleeve with zero effort, really. Just pick up the sleeve, and you're good to go.
The bullet vibrator is deeply embedded in the outer silicone stroker sleeve. The silicone, however, has a nice power button icon embedded into the silicone to make it easy to figure out how to turn on the bullet vibrator.
Just press the button once to turn on the vibration - and then press the button again to change the vibration modes.
Press and hold the button to turn off the vibration.
Since it only takes a press of a button to turn on the vibration, the vibrator for the Hummer 2.0 comes travel locked. That means that it won't start vibrating if the button is pressed. Double click the button to turn the travel lock on and off. Considering I couldn't get the vibrations to start up when I first received the Hummer 2.0, I'm going to guess that the travel lock was on. My first charge of the bullet vibrator also seemed to turn off the Travel Lock.
Materials and Care
I'll admit: the VeDO Hummer 2.0 is definitely not an "easy care" type of toy. Don't expect it to be a simple clean-up. If you want super-simple clean-up, either go with a disposable stroker like the Tenga Eggs or a very open-ended one like the bHandy.
The VeDo Hummer 2.0, on the other hand, has multiple items that need to be washed after each use. The sleeve itself (and the sleeve's sheath) are the biggest and most difficult washes, but the instructions say you should also bring both hoses and the filter into the bathroom to wash too. That means five separate items need cleaning when you're done.
The exact cleaning instructions say:
1. Gently pull TPE sleeve through the window of the silicone sleeve skin.
2. Thoroughly wash the TPE sleeve, silicone sleeve skin, both hoses, and filter in warm soapy water. (Preferably with a foaming toy cleanser.)
3. Place TPE sleeve, silicone sleeve skin, both hoses, and filter on a lint-free towel to air dry.
4. Store dried items in a dry and clean area.
The majority of the VeDO Hummer 2.0 functionality requires wall outlet power to function. You need to plug in the power brick with its power cable - then plug the power brick into the main power unit.
However, the vibrations on the sleeve are actually rechargeable - just like any ol' standard rechargeable vibrator. This is one of the selling points of the VeDO Hummer 2.0: the penis sleeve can be used like a standard stroking sleeve with additional vibrations. Adding more cords to make that viable would have been a downer, so everything about the vibrations is cord-free and rechargeable.
This means that it needs to be recharged on occasion, though. There's a special port on the VeDO Hummer 2.0 Main Power Unit that the charging cable plugs into. You can then plug the other end of the charging cable into the bullet vibrator on the sleeve itself. The instructions do not provide any information about how long the bullet vibrator needs to charge in order to be fully charged, but I think it took less than two hours.
Finally, the VeDO Hummer 2.0 requires quite a bit of lube. Remember, the goal of the suction on the Hummer 2.0 is to move the penis sleeve up and down. If you don't have enough lube to make that happen, it won't happen, and it'll hurt. That's no fun for everybody. Use lots of lube on the sleeve and lots of lube on your penis. The sleeve is particularly nubbily textured (more-so than any other penis sleeve I've ever seen), so it actually takes quite a bit of lube.
It looks like VeDO offers a 1 year manufacturer's warranty on the Hummer 2.0. In case you encounter any problems, it looks like VeDO may help you troubleshoot or replace problematic parts. They do not, however, offer any refund for any issues with the Hummer 2.0.
The VeDO Hummer 2.0 is not a light toy - and its shipping box wasn't light either. However, it was completely discreet. The Hummer 2.0 came in a plain, brown box that I honestly thought was some groceries I had ordered until I picked it up and felt it was 12 pounds of heft. Nobody else was any-the-wiser.
After I opened it up, the box for the VeDO Hummer 2.0 was packaged snugly inside. The VeDO Hummer 2.0's box is a very sturdy cardboard box that's pretty boringly black with a cardboard slipcover that includes all of the toy's information.
Inside of that box, all of the parts for the Hummer 2.0 are nicely packaged inside in a way that you'll never get them to look that nice again after you remove them from the box. Each one of the accessories has its own labeled cardboard box, and the main power unit and sleeve all have their own blister pack packaging. After discarding and recycling what I could, it was enough to have half-filled my kitchen trash can.
Inside the box, you'll get:
- Main power unit body (the big boy).
- TPE Stroker itself.
- The silicone skin for the stroker.
- The remote control.
- A 36" plastic hose all coiled up.
- 9" hose that goes to the sleeve (much less coiled).
- The square-looking "filter" piece.
- USB charging cable (to charge the vibrations).
- Power supply (with power brick).
- Power cord that goes to the power supply.
I recommend pulling out the 36" plastic coiled hose ASAP and get it to straighten out. The tightly wound packaging means that the hose is really frustrating to deal with until it has been nicely uncoiled. Starting that before your first use is really recommended.
For someone who orgasms easily from everything, we were surprised that the suction sensations of the Hummer 2.0 didn't easily get him to orgasm. On one hand, this ends up being good for us. It means that it's a fantastic edging toy - and that it's a great pleasuring toy for when he wants to use his hands elsewhere (like playing with an anal dildo or prostate massager) while still getting pleasure (but not overwhelming pleasure) on the penis.
The combination of all of those sensations definitely gets him to some seriously powerful orgasms - especially since the VeDO Hummer 2.0 has taken so long to really "suck" that orgasm out of him.
If you ever want the "cheat code" to fast orgasms with the Hummer 2.0, it definitely lies in the vibrations - not the suction design of the penis sex machine. The stroker is equipped with some seriously powerful vibrations and popping those vibrations on really lights up the entire sleeve in orgasmic sensation.
Now, whether an edging station is worth it for you is entirely up to you. It does take a bit of time to set up the Hummer 2.0 compared to a standard stroker, but on the flip side, you can have hands-free pleasure when you're done. The Hummer 2.0 requires cleaning more pieces when you're done, but again, on the flip side, its plugged-in design means it can keep going for hours and hours if you want with zero fatigue on your part.
I'd recommend the Hummer 2.0 for someone who isn't looking for a sex machine for fast orgasms - and instead is looking for a sex machine to partner with other sexual sensations. The Hummer 2.0 really shines in its ability to provide constant sensation while you may be occupied elsewhere. Effectively, it turns the Hummer 2.0 into an extra set of hands that can keep the pleasure level high while you add even more pleasure elsewhere.
The two biggest selling points of the VeDO Hummer 2.0 are the automation - and the blowjob simulation patterns. If you want them, effortlessly, in one toy, the VeDO Hummer 2.0 is pretty much your best bet. However, if your budget doesn't allow it or you'd like to compare your options, here are some of the other alternatives that I'd recommend:
KIIROO KEON: My biggest recommendation is the KIIROO KEON. I've done a KIIROO KEON review for reading, but in a nutshell: the KEON also does automated stroking, can be controlled online, and syncs up to Interactive porn options. While the KEON's unit still needs to be held (unlike the Hummer 2.0 which is truly hands-free), the KEON does all of the work for you. Instead of a sucking sensation, the KEON is just like a standard textured sleeve - but that sleeve moves itself up and down the shaft for you as you hold the unit on your lap. It's extremely orgasmic, and the sleeves are interchangeable.
Arcwave Ion: If the "suction" aspect is really what appealed to you, you might like the Arcwave Ion. Built with the same technology that has made the Womanizer toys an instant success, the Arcwave Ion provides a whole lot of pleasure - while staying entirely stationary. Again, you'll likely have to hold it onto the penis (unless you get really creative), but the Arcwave Ion does all of the work without you needing to move the toy at all. It's a very different-feeling orgasm compared to stroking.
Hot Octopuss Jett: If part of the appeal is the hands-free, minimal-movement of the Hummer 2.0, you might want to look at the Hot Octopuss Jett. While the Jett uses vibrations to achieve pleasure (instead of movement), the Jett straps onto the penis and truly allows for hands-free pleasure and orgasms. Just strap it on, fiddle with the remote when you want, and lay back and enjoy.
Mystim Hot Rod Toy Warmer: Take your favorite penis stroker and just warm it instead. Since one of the nicest things about oral sex is the warm, enveloping mouth, just pre-warm your stroker instead with the Hot Rod Toy Warmer. While it's prewarming, place your closed (upside right, so the lid sticks out) bottle of lube in a glass of hot water. Between the stroker and the lube, this will make a really warmed, hot experience to help simulate oral sex - no matter what stroker you have.
Tips for Buying a Sex Machine for Penises
Unlike most sex toys advice articles out there, I'd guesstimate that you're probably not looking to choose between penis sex machines if you're reading this review. You're probably wondering, instead, whether it's worth it to purchase a penis sex machine instead of just a simple penis stroker.
With that in mind, here are some of the things I'd recommend thinking about when deciding between a simple stroker and the Hummer 2.0:
- Do you want something that can pleasure you with minimal effort on your part? I can't imagine most people will say "no" to this one.
- Does your budget have the room to buy the VeDO Hummer 2.0? All of this automated pleasure technology isn't cheap (unfortunately).
- What is it you want out of your new toy? Are you just looking for new sensations? If so, a stroker might be a better fit. Or do you really, really want automated pleasure above all else? In that case, the VeDO Hummer 2.0 might be a better fit.
- Do you have the energy and interest in the clean-up? This is, by far, one of the more complicated penis pleasuring toys I own. the only thing that's more complicated to clean is my full-sized sex doll - and that's because the only place I can clean it is if I shower with it. After you finish using the Hummer 2.0, you'll need to tote 4-6 different pieces into the sink to clean them - and that might be more effort than you're wanting to do.
- Do you have the storage capabilities? It isn't the largest penis pleasure toy I own (that, again, would be the sex doll), but it's multiple times larger than a simple stroker like the Sir Richard's Intimate Therapy Stroker. Do you happen to have the space necessary to store it?