SEX TOYS AND PRODUCTS
VeDO Hummer 2.0: Sex Toy Review
It's large and in charge. The VeDO Hummer 2.0 promises to emulate oral loving for your fav penis but falls a bit short of perfection.
Designed as a hands-free penis sex machine, the VeDO Hummer 2.0 uses the power of suction to simulate a stroker moving up and down the penis. Complete with a stroker attached to a series of hoses, the stroker slides (snugly) onto the penis, and through the power of suction, it stays adhered to the penis. Then, by rhythmically releasing and tightening the suction, the VeDo Hummer 2.0 pulses around the penis - while staying firmly attached to it.
The VeDO Hummer 2.0 is one of the main new types of pleasure technology that's being crafted specifically for penises. In particular, it reminds me of the KIIROO KEON in that both options are crafted to stroke the penis while requiring minimal effort on the user's part.
Designed to replicate the realistic sensations of a blowjob, one of the Hummer 2.0's main draws are the 8 equipped patterns. Each one of these fully-automated suction modes offers four minutes of unpredictable patterns. Each one of these 4-minute modes is crafted to allow you to slide the Hummer 2.0 onto the penis, leave it there, lay back, close your eyes, and imagine you're receiving a blowjob from another person.
Since people aren't known for providing the exact same sensation and suction level for hours on end, these patterned options are crafted to bring more realism into the experience - all while letting you enjoy it hands-free.
While the main draw of the Hummer 2.0 is the hands-free suction sensation, it also lets you power the fun as well. Just detach the stroker from the hosing, and you have an extremely textured stroker that can slip up and down the penis with the power of your own arm.
To add extra sensation to either use, the Hummer 2.0 stroker sleeve is equipped with a powerful, wireless, rechargeable bullet vibrator. Since the vibrator is entirely separate from the Main Power Unit, it can be turned on while manually using the sleeve - or turned on during the suction phase too. It's an entirely separate system.
Unlike virtually every other penis sex toy on the market, the VeDO Hummer 2.0 requires wall outlet power for use; it is NOT rechargeable. The suction requires quite a bit of power, and to make sure you get every ounce of power possible, this sex toy will need to be plugged into the wall while using it.
The optional bullet vibrator, on the other hand, is entirely rechargeable, and it can be used wherever, whenever.
So, now that we have the basics out of the way, let's get into my full VeDO Hummer 2.0 review!
How'd You Use It?
To start off this review, I think it's important to note a few things about my partner and I:
- His penis isn't entirely straight. It has a natural, leftward leaning curve.
- He has particularly stiff/firm penile support tendons that make his penis prefer to stay very upright.
- He orgasms - very easily. In fact, it's a bit of a game to see how quickly I can make him orgasm sometimes. We're talking in the "start to finish 20 seconds" range - not in minutes.
- This means every penis pleasuring sex toy we've brought into play requires an early stop - or else he'll ejaculate. Depending on the day and the intensity of the toy, that can just be a few strokes.
- Speaking of those penis toys, we own a multitude of them. In the "multiple hundreds" range with everything from Fleshlights to Nexus Eclipse to the Hot Octopuss Pulse Solo Lux. We even have full-sized sex dolls.
All of those points are also why it's partially weird that he can't achieve orgasm with the VeDO Hummer 2.0's suction. By far one of the most expensive penis pleasuring sex toys we now own (aside from our sex dolls), the VeDO Hummer 2.0 feels good, but it doesn't seem to get him to orgasm.
He actually loves this about it; he says it's a fantastic "gooning" toy. (which is, essentially, extended masturbation without the intention of orgasming soon).
I find it confusing - but also hot at the same time. Watching someone who orgasms at the drop of a hat be unable to orgasm - and struggle, tirelessly, to try to orgasm from a stimulation - is pretty hot too.
But, at the end of the day, it's just odd. After multiple attempts, the stimulation from the VeDO Hummer 2.0 just isn't enough, alone, to get him to orgasm. Not if we use the patterns and not if we use the manual mode on its constantly highest setting. Nothing about the suction side of the VeDO Hummer 2.0 seems to bring him to orgasm.
He says it gets him to the first tinglings of the idea of an orgasm, but it never seems to go any further. He does point out, however, that feeling that tease of orgasm, constantly, over and over, is a different type of pleasure all in itself though. Most toys keep elevating sensation so that orgasm is inevitable, but with the Hummer 2.0 suction, it's just the stirrings of the beginning of orgasm - over and over and over.
Now, that story changes if we add other sensations - including the vibrations that the Hummer 2.0 comes with. The VeDO Hummer 2.0 is probably the only sex toy we own that can be used alongside anal toys or nipple toys - and not cause him to orgasm within seconds.
Adding that extra sensation through a separate, second (or third!) toy makes the sensation of the Hummer 2.0 enough for orgasm. But, unlike every other sex toy we own, it "draws out" the climb to orgasm. Especially for someone who's so sensitive, it allows him to really enjoy the sensations of the VeDO Hummer 2.0 alongside the other body safe sex toy in a way we can't really do with other penis strokers. He just cums too quickly.
Adding the vibrations the Hummer 2.0 is equipped with also has the same effect; it can provide enough stimulation alongside the suction in order to get him to orgasm quickly. It's just the suction alone (which is, admittedly, the selling point of the Hummer 2.0) that causes delayed orgasms.
After multiple different uses, we finally figured out enough to put the sensations into words. Here's what he came up with:
"It feels a bit like the most teasing blowjob you've ever gotten. It's like there's a hand wrapped around the upper part of your shaft that just squeezes - and releases - over and over. At the same time, there are lips wrapped around the tip of your head that are oh-so-gently moving up-and-down in a few millimeter increments. Nothing feels particularly tight or intense. Its stimulation that feels fantastic, but it never seems to go beyond the "teasing" blowjob part - even when she [my partner] turned it up to the highest setting.
I'm not sure "higher" is better with the Hummer 2.0. Especially at the highest intensities, those same movements are just faster - which can make it hard to really feel the different, unique sensations. I found I got closer on the lower settings, and while the higher ones felt pretty good, the sensations tended to blend together.
I'm not a fan of the patterns. There are multiple spots where the toy includes pre-scheduled breaks where the machine just stops moving. I'm sure I've had blowjobs where she stopped all stimulation for a few seconds before, but it wasn't once every minute or so. The pre-recorded patterns didn't really get me anywhere near close, but I found they were a good change of pace when otherwise occupied with porn or other toys. They were good background sensations when most of my attention was on another toy, but when I was just playing with the Hummer 2.0, it the constant switching was more annoying than anything.
The patterns aren't really as natural as a human would do them. It's like 3 seconds at Speed 4, break, 6 seconds at Speed 2, break, 2 seconds at Speed 7, break. It doesn't cohesively blend them and vary speed and tightness like a human would. It's definitely more interesting than a constant speed when you have something else to focus on, but when it's the sole sensation, it's more jarring than immersive."
Now, we're not really sure if this is how the toy is supposed to feel or if it's just an individual-anatomy thing. It could be that his curved anatomy doesn't allow the toy to get as good of suction as the manufacturer's intended. (We dealt with some of that on the Arcwave Ion review, but we were able to figure out the best way to use the Ion with his anatomy despite that.)
Since I had to take pictures of the Hummer 2.0 for this review you're reading, I figured I'd get GIFs of the toy in action. So, the Hummer 2.0 was used on an average-sized dildo to make it not-pornographic. And, honestly, you can see from the GIFs that it makes about the same movement with the sex toy as we were finding with his biological penis. I'm wondering if this is just how the Hummer 2.0 performs for most people - and that the marketing video (which shows the Hummer 2.0 easily moving in inch+ strokes) was just marketing. (If so, that's bullshit, but I've ranted more-than-enough about sex toys overpromising what they can deliver.)
Now, I will say that the remote control adds a nice touch to the VeDO Hummer 2.0. It responds fantastically. The single power button turns the Hummer 2.0 on and off - but single presses cycle through all of the patterned modes. If you press the up or down arrow, it instantly returns to pattern 1 - which means "manual mode". Sitting across a couch or across the room, it controlled the Hummer 2.0 flawlessly, and we both heard the instant response to an audible button press. So, the remote control functionality is definitely solid - especially if you planned on using it while using the toy on yourself. If it can work for me, across the room, it's got 1 foot away down perfectly.
The remote control is definitely a bit on the "necessary" side since the only other way to control the suction impulses is through the buttons on the Main Power Unit. Depending on how far away you're sitting, the Main Power Unit could easily be a foot or two away - and out of comfortable arms' reach. This makes the remote control one of the main ways you'll likely interact with the Hummer 2.0.
I will say that it's a bit odd that the vibrations for the Hummer 2.0 can only be controlled via the button on the shaft of the stroker. As someone who loves holding the remote to a toy to control all of the sensations, the fact that the vibrations are entirely separate from the remote control is a bit odd.
However, at the same time, since the vibrations are fully rechargeable and disconnected from the Main Power Unit, this means that the vibrations can be used on the sleeve even when you're using it as a manual stroker (seen in the next section). This is one of Hummer 2.0's selling points: the stroker can be used as a standard stroker for when all of the pomp and circumstance of setting up the Hummer 2.0 for hands-free use seems like too much.
Speaking of the "hands-free" aspect, though, we're not entirely sold on it. The VeDO Hummer 2.0 sleeve is heavy. Partnered with the fact that the tubing at the top of the sleeve means the sleeve pulls towards the Main Power Unit, this sleeve can end up at an odd angle when placed on top of the penis. It doesn't end up at a perfectly upright position like the marketing videos show - at least, not unless you hold the sleeve in place.
If you want to use the VeDO Hummer 2.0 hands-free, we think the only way to comfortably do it is while laying down. As you can see in the GIF, if the penis is in the upright position, the weight of the Hummer sleeve slowly pulls it down to the side. I'm not sure how that feels on every penis out there, but for my partner, that was extremely uncomfortable to have so much weight pulsating up and down on his dick.
However, when the penis is laying flat (like when the body is laying flat), this tugging of weight doesn't come into play. Since the weight of the Hummer sleeve just rests against the tummy too, it doesn't really end up at much of an angle.
So, if you want to use it while sitting or standing, expect to need to hold it. If you're in a position where the penis lays flat against the tummy, it's less of an issue.
Finally, I really recommend a good, strong erection for use with the Hummer. Not only do the instructions say so, but getting into the sleeve (especially with the suction involved) might be difficult if you're in the squishier stages. Once you're in the Hummer, we've found that the suction acts like an almost pseudo-penis pump. So, it stays hard inside of the Hummer just fine once inserted with the suction going. But to get into the sleeve itself, I'd really recommend a firm erection (and potentially a cock ring if that's what's needed for you to get that firm erection).
Weird aside but totally relevant: If you use the Hummer 2.0 for a long, long time, expect your penis to look really weird when you remove it. After an hour of non-stop use of the Hummer 2.0, the protruding textures of the sleeve had left a temporary imprint on his penis. He removed his penis to find a surprising polka-dot-like texture all over the shaft. Hilarious for me, slightly concerning for him.
So, for us, the VeDO Hummer 2.0 is going to be primarily toy we pull out when we don't want him to reach an easy, early orgasm. It draws out the pleasure in a way I don't think the manufacturer intended - but for us, that works.
Our tips for using the VeDO Hummer 2.0:
- Lay down if you want to use it hands-free - or come up with some fancy, homemade invention that holds the top of the sleeve for you.
- Use lots of lubes inside the sleeve and on your penis before use.
- If you can, straighten out the plastic tubing before your first uses. It comes coiled up, and since it's plastic tubing, it has a memory that makes it want to recoil back up. This can lead to the tip of the stroker (which is attached to this tubing) being pulled more than it needs to be. Getting that tubing flatter helps.
- Use the remote control. It makes it much easier to control the suction, and it works really well.
- If you want more fun, don't forget about the vibrations. It really does help add a lot more sensation to the experience.
How Else Could It Be Used?
VeDO built the manual use option into the Hummer 2.0. That is, the penis stroking sleeve can be entirely removed from all of the cords of the Hummer 2.0 system and used all on its own like a separate, standard penis stroker.
When we used it as a standard stroker, it works a-okay. He says that it isn't quite as stimulating as the Tenga Spinner or other Fleshlights that we own, but it isn't bad. With his own hand stroking the stroker, he can achieve orgasm easily and without any effort.
Powering on the vibrations becomes a double-whammy, and he'll quickly orgasm once the vibrations are turned on. Despite the fact that I can't control them with my remote control, I really enjoy the fact that the vibrations are separate from the Hummer 2.0 and can be used while manually stroking the toy up and down. Keeping it outside of the Main Power Unit does require you to remember to charge them - but at the same time, you can turn them on whenever for more pleasure.
If you have the mechanical know-how and the interest, I'm also imagining that the VeDO Hummer 2.0 could become the centerpiece of an automated masturbation station. All you really need is a sturdy stand to hold one of the tubes, and the stroker would automatically stand upright. Partner that with a VR headset and some really good blowjob porn, and you could easily make a set-up where you can fully immerse yourself into some seriously realistic scenes. That'd be cool.
This isn't a small toy. As you can imagine from anything that has a motorized power box and hoses, it isn't going to be something that slides easily behind the books in the bookshelf for hiding. It's a substantial toy with multiple pieces, and if one of those pieces disappears, you might have a hard time using the VeDO Hummer 2.0 until you get a replacement.
With that in mind, I highly recommend keeping all of the pieces inside the original box. Thankfully, the manufacturers knew that might be the case, and the original packaging is extremely sturdy. It's a sturdy, pull-off-lid box that's entirely black. It has the VeDO logo on top, but that's about it.
That being said, the box isn't small. It's about 2/3rds of the width of my stovetop, and it's not light. UPS put the box at 11.7 pounds when delivering it, and after removing some of the extra packaging, I'd say that 11 pounds is an accurate assessment. Almost all of that weight is in the Main Power Unit, but the point being: you can't put this on top of anything that's squishable.
a The VeDO Hummer 2.0 uses all of that weight and accessories to provide its signature suction sensation. It's hard to compare the suction intensity level - because one of the only other toys that does the same thing is over 2 times more expensive and nearly a grand. (Venus for Men). So, I'll let my previous discussion over how the suction felt become the bar for comparison here. (In a side note, the Venus for Men is so mechanical and medical-looking. I'm glad the VeDO Hummer 2.0 took a more sensual look for their toy.)
Now, the vibrations are much easier to compare. In addition to being loud, the vibrations are surprisingly powerful. They're strong enough to shake the entire stroker (pleasurably), and they're much stronger than some of the clitoral vibrators I own. Really, they seem like they're truly designed to pleasure every inch of the penis, and out of the entire Hummer 2.0, it feels like the vibrations are the most-pleasurable part of it. These are some STRONG vibrations. Not quite wand massager, but they're noticeably stronger than an average toy. They're definitely on par with some of the stronger vibrators out there.
With that power comes some noise. The VeDO Hummer 2.0 isn't a quiet toy. I wouldn't use it inside of a house with other people in it - especially not if those people are anywhere nearby the room where you're using the sex machine. The suction makes a loud-ish mechanical sound with each suction pulse. It's louder than most strokers (including the KIIROO KEON), but it's not nearly as loud as the Arcwave Ion when it isn't pressed against a penis.
The vibrations are equally as loud with a deep, deep vibrating thrum. This, too, is relatively loud and about on-par with most wand massagers (surprisingly).
Partnered with the large size, I'd say this puts the VeDO Hummer 2.0 in a category where you'd want your own space on a regular basis in order to make it a good sex toy for you. This is not going to be a great toy if you have a roommate who never leaves the house. (I'd go with a Tenga toy like the Tenga GEO for that one.)
How to Set Up the VeDO Hummer 2.0
Setting up the VeDO Hummer 2.0 has a lot of steps. It seems overwhelming when you start, but after you do it twice, you pretty much can set it up within a minute. That being said, it still isn't as simple as grabbing a stroker and going to town.
To set up the VeDO Hummer 2.0, you need to:
- Take all of the items out of the box.
- Plug the power cable into the Main Power Unit - and plug that power cable into a wall electricity outlet. The Hummer 2.0 is not rechargeable. It requires your home electricity to function!
- Push one end of the long tube into the Main Power Unit.
- Push the other end of the long tube into the funky-looking square filter.
- On the other end of that square filter, slide on one end of the smaller tube.
- Slide the other end of the smaller tube into the top of the penis stroking sleeve. Be careful not to overinsert.
- Lube yourself up - with lots of lube. This is not a toy that can handle skimping on lube.
- Now do the same for the inside of the penis stroker. You might need to squirt in a few separate dollops; the extra-textured interior of the Hummer 2.0 really works best with lots of lube.
- Slide the Hummer 2.0 sleeve on top of the penis. If the internal pressure inside the sleeve is too strong, unplug the tube at the top to slide in the penis - then plug it back in once the stroker is in place.
- Flip on the power switch on the Main Power Unit.
- If you're using the remote control, press the Plus button on the remote. They'll instantly connect to one another.
As an extra note, the first time you use it (or if you use it after an extended break), you need to do a few extra steps to calibrate the suction. It just takes a few seconds.
How It Works
So, at its most basic, the VeDO Hummer 2.0 provides two separate sensations: vibrations and suction. Each one of those sensations is powered differently, too, so let me give you a good idea about how it works.