Top Solo Sex Tips for Vulva-Owners

It's fun, it's free, it's good for you, and it doesn't require anyone else! There aren't a whole lot of things on this Earth that can check all of those boxes, but masturbation is one of them. Not only is masturbation good for your mental and physical health, but it can make a huge difference with your sexual pleasure down the line too - talk about some lasting benefits!

If you're shy, don't be! Self-pleasure (aka masturbation!) isn't just something fun to do; it's also one of the easiest ways to improve your sex life with a partner. When you know your body and its pleasure pathways, you're better able to communicate that with a partner.

When you know what feels good - and what doesn't - you will know what's an abnormal sensation - and what sensations are likely to help you to climb to orgasm. (If you have reservations about doing pleasure for your own sake, I hope the idea of being a more active partner in a future, coupled sex life can help convince you!)

Whether you're brand new to self-pleasure or an established pro, you might be looking for some tips to make your solo pleasure sessions even better - and that's what I'm here for.

Use Your Hands

Obviously, one of the easiest ways to pleasure yourself for most people - no matter your anatomy - is your hands. They're free, they're always there, and they have the dexterity that other items around your house won't. If you already know what pleasure you want from your hands, that's awesome: do that!

If you aren't sure, though, there are a couple of techniques I'd recommend to start exploring the pleasure your clitoris can provide.

First, there's the pleasure of tapping. Use your pointer and middle finger, group them together, and gently pat the top of the vulva where the "slit" ends. You might find this pleasurable already - and you can increase or decrease the speed or the intensity of the tapping to make it even more pleasurable. If this isn't doing it for you, consider using your other hand to gently spread the labia to expose the clitoris a bit more. That will leave it open to more stimulation from the tapping.

Other people enjoy the sensation of grinding and full-palm stimulation. Instead of using two fingers for a tapping sensation, press all of the fingers together on one hand, and use that to press firmly against the vulva with a focus towards pressure on the side closest to your bellybutton. From there, you can push this hand against yourself, grind against your hand, move your hand back and forth, and more. It's all about experimenting to help you find what feels best on your body. When the good feelings come, keep doing that - and make micro-adjustments from there to see if you can get the pleasure to keep going - or increase in intensity.

(As a bonus, either of these two sensations can be done while clothed if necessary!)

Pick Up Sex Toys

There's a reason there are thousands upon thousands of vibrators out there - specifically built to pleasure vaginas. It's because they work. Even if you've located the clitoris and pleasured it into oblivion, there are a lot of people who still can't achieve orgasm with hands alone.

And that's perfectly normal! That's why vibrators and sex toys exist - just for your pleasure. Think of them like "tools" to help you achieve your end goal of orgasm. After all, nobody considers it "cheating" that your local mechanic uses hydraulic lifts to make it easier to work underneath the car. It's just a tool that they need in order to do their job to the best of their ability. Think of your sex toys that way; another way to make the activity easier and better for you.

If you're looking to pleasure the clitoris, wand massagers are generally the way to go. They have some of the most-intense power out there - and their large, rounded head offers a broad surface that can make it hard to "miss" the clitoris.

Of course, there are lots of smaller handheld vibrators that can get the job done as well. It just depends on what you're looking for in a sex toy! (We have quite a few guides to help you select the perfect vibe for you).

Explore your Body

Of course, going straight for orgasm is totally awesome - and really required sometimes. But bypassing the rest of your body just to race to orgasm is definitely providing you a disservice. There are a lot of other erogenous zones on the body just waiting to be taken advantage of. If that isn't enough of a reason to explore yourself, consider this: if you know what areas are most pleasurable for you, you'll be able to help future partners hit those areas, too.

Trail your fingers along your neck and against your collarbones. Do it sensually - like a lover mesmerized by the new, bare skin they're allowed to explore. Consider cupping the nipples and tissue around the areola. Lots of people enjoy squeezing - and flicking of the nipples.

Grip your inner thighs with passion, and explore the idea of teasing yourself before you dive straight into your pleasure centres. You have a whole lot of body to explore - and every inch of it can increase your pleasure and make that final orgasm even more explosive!

(Protip: This can be a lovely exercise in self-love and body-positivity, too!)

Switch It Up

If you're a card-carrying member of the "I Fuck Myself" club, you probably have a masturbation routine - just like everything else in our lives. Maybe you just pull out a vibrator in bed right before it's time to go to bed. Maybe you masturbate first thing in the morning to start your day on a good start. Maybe you end a rough workday with a good masturbation session on the couch with your phone.

Whatever the case is, you can instantly add more intensity to your pleasure purely by switching up your regular routine. It's as simple as that. Masturbate somewhere new - or at a different time than usual - or with a different method than usual. It might be more "challenging" to achieve orgasm - but remember you can always go back to your tried-and-true favorites next time.

Make Up a Sexual Challenge

Do you know what's fun? Challenging yourself to try new things - and feeling pretty awesome when you meet those "sex challenges" head-on. Almost all of us can do something for seven days - or 30 days - no matter how busy we are. Meeting challenges and "goals" activates some of the pleasure centers in our brains - which can be a lovely bonus on top of all of the self-exploration and pleasure you're going to get in the process of achieving your challenge!

Some challenges I might recommend:

• Masturbate every day for a time period
• Masturbate in a new place every day for a time period
• Masturbate every day for a time period - but no orgasms are allowed until the last day
• Use insertable toys with your masturbation every day for a time period
• Only use clitoral toys for masturbation for a time period
• Use anal toys with your masturbation every day for a time period
• Achieve orgasm as quickly as possible (time yourself) every day for a time period to find your "fastest"
• Require yourself to masturbate for a prolonged time period every day for a time period
• Use a new sex toy every day for a time period

Washers Aren't Just for Washing Clothes

I know you've seen the jokes about washing machines and sexual pleasure - but they're jokes because they're true. There are actually a lot of things around your home that can be used for sexual pleasure - if you so choose.