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ANAL SEX

7 Porn Stars Share Their Best Advice for Anal Sex

Published: MAY 4, 2023
Porn may be over-the-top, but anal pleasure is the real deal.

Porn may be over-the-top, but anal pleasure is the real deal.

Whether you love it, hate it, or haven't yet tried it, there's no denying the popularity of anal sex. In fact, according to a 2023 study by BedBible.com, 40 percent of people have dabbled with backdoor play. Anal sex provides an entirely different sensation than vaginal play, which can be very pleasurable -- if done correctly. Plus, anal sex can feel really good for people of all genders and sexual orientations. For cis men, the P-spot (or prostate spot, named for the walnut-sized gland located below the bladder in front of the rectum) is a hotspot for all the good feelings as well.

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But if you're here, you probably already know that -- and we're willing to guess you're after some tips to make anal play the most pleasurable experience it can be.

I talked with seven porn stars for their expert tips and takes on how to best approach anal sex. Here's what they shared:

Do Your Prep Work

If your anus isn't perfectly pristine and clean, don't panic. There's a big difference between practicing good hygiene and having some leakage.

The anus is also used for defecating -- so, by default, it can be messy. However, if you're nervous about making a mess, there are a few things you can do to prepare for anal play:

  • Do a short fast. This advice comes from Sara St. Clair, who tries to not eat for 12 hours before anal sex to make sure everything is out. She also drinks lots of coffee -- just to make sure. However, fasting may not be ideal for those with certain medical conditions. Fasting isn't required; do what's best for your body.
  • Douche. Nicole Doshi preps for anal sex using an anal douche instead of an enema. She fills it with warm water, adds lube to the tip of the douche and gently inserts it to squeeze the water in. "The tip for this one is to position yourself in Doggy Style and hold the water inside of you for about a minute," says Doshi. "Then, push the water out. Repeat a couple of times when you see the water is clear; then you know you are good to go."
  • Use colored condoms. If St. Clair is not 100 percent confident she's fully clean, she uses colored condoms, if possible. "It makes for easy cleanup and, being colored, it's less noticeable and embarrassing."
  • Use a sex blanket. The Liberator Fascinator Throw can help protect your bedding or carpet.
  • Get wet. If things get messy, you can extend sexytime to the shower with your partner.

READ: The Ultimate Guide to Anal Masturbation

Communicate With Your Partner(s)

Dee Siren's number one tip is to communicate openly with your partner. She says it's so important to be able to communicate during anal sex so that you're both guiding each other on what feels good and what may need to be adjusted.

"The giver needs to follow the receiver's speed and ask their partner how things feel throughout the process," says Siren. "It's really good to have a sense of humor because, just like any type of sex, being able to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all is part of the fun. Besides, most people do want to take it slow and enjoy the new sensations."

Like anything in life, if the idea of anal sex doesn't inspire an enthusiastic "fuck yes," you probably shouldn't do it. If someone has to convince you to do something, that's coercion -- not consent.

Also, "accidental" anal is not OK. If someone "accidentally" slips it in, they are at best an asshole and at worst committing sexual assault.

READ: How to Flirt... With Consent!

Build an Anal Training Kit

Mentor, lifestyle dome and kink practitioner Madam Carmen says a great way to prepare for anal play with people of different experience levels is to build your own anal training kit.

Carmen recommends adding gloves -- made of medical grade latex or nitrile -- lubricant, a small vibrator, pH-friendly genital or body wipes, a range of anal play toys and toy cleaner to the mix.

"When building your kit, it's important to stay mindful of what these items are made of," Carmen says. "This means making sure everything is body-safe, as well as an awareness of what kind of materials should not be mixed together."

READ: Sex Toy Safety: A Guide to Materials.

Don't Forget the Lube

An obvious (and totally valid) fear about anal penetration is that inserting something as big as a penis (or even a finger) into such a small hole will be painful.

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Unlike the vagina, the anus is not a self-lubricating orifice, so lube is an absolute must. Doshi uses Pjur's BACK DOOR Anal Lube and Bad Dragon's Cum Lube, while Siren prefers something more natural, like coconut oil.

Go Slow

Once you're relaxed and ready, start small. Use a tongue or finger to gently stimulate the area surrounding the anus. When aroused, try to ease one finger or the tip of a plug inside.

The muscles should open on their own; if you have to force it, you're not ready.

READ: The Beginner's Guide to Anal Stretching.

Use Your Fingers

Some folks aren't comfortable with penetrative toy, or may enjoy a different method of stimulation, notes Madam Carmen. She recommends starting with your fingers and hand.

"To avoid any spread of bacteria and infections, you'll want to wash your hands and scrub well under the nails even before putting on gloves," she says. Carmen says she prefers this because she's better able to feel and navigate when inside the anal canal. "Toys can sometimes make it difficult for the top to understand the full depth of what the other person's body is experiencing."

Take Proper Precautions

If you're a vulva owner, the potential transfer of bacteria from the anus to the vagina should be a concern. If you are moving from the anus to a vagina, switch condoms or clean your penis/strap-on thoroughly. Ditto for condoms on sex toys that switch between orifices.

READ: Put a Condom On It! (Your Sex Toy).

Size Matters

When it comes to the butt, size does matter -- especially for beginners. In other words, don't get too ambitious -- you can always go bigger later.

Marina Gold says the internal sphincter is very flexible and expandable. Still, the most challenging area to open is the external sphincter. "Your ass is a muscle after all, so you can really push it to its limit without hurting yourself, providing you're doing it correctly," she says.

If you want to enter the world of anal sex and do it regularly, Gold recommends getting an anal dilator set. "You can purchase them at any sex shop, and they will be a big help with the training," she says. She also recommends dilating your ass while you enjoy a routine activity—like watching Netflix or reading. "Dilating occasionally, even if you're not going to engage in anal sex at that moment, will help you do so much more quickly when you and your partner are intimate."

Gold's advice? Start small. "Try using your finger first -- get used to the feeling. Then continue using a variety of toys, from small and thin to as big as you're comfortable with." If you go slow, switch toys slowly, and use lots of lube, Gold says you'll be fine.

If a human cock is too thick, it might not work for some people, says performer Valentina Bellucci. She can work with a long dick, though. "With a long dick, I ask my partner not to go all the way in—at least not right away," she says. An Ohnut bumper on a penis or dildo is helpful in these scenarios. The stretchy stackable rings help limit the depth of penetration.

READ: Shallow Penetration Sex Positions for Big Penis Sex.

Experiment With Positions

For first-timers wanting to explore anal sex, Catherine Knight suggests laying on your back with your legs up on a sofa while your sex partner is kneeling. You can also use a piece of sex furniture, like the Liberator Axis, to prop up your hips -- like in the Hamstring Stretch Position.

Hamstring Stretch Position: The receiving partner lays on their back with their hips propped up using a Liberator Axis. The penetrating partner kneels in front of them to penetrate them anally.The Hamstring Stretch Position.

"Start by inserting the tip of the cock or dildo extremely gently and hold it there until the receiver feels ready to continue, going deeper carefully," says Knight. "If the receiver starts to feel any pain or discomfort, that is a sign to stop, take a little break, and try again." To make it extra pleasurable, Knight suggests using a wand vibrator to stimulate the receiving partner's clit, if they have one, for an intense sensation that will bring more focus to the pleasure and reduce any discomfort from the penetration. "Remember to check in constantly with each other and let the receiver guide the process."

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When it comes to anal sex positions, Bellucci, the studio head for Step House, personally likes Doggy Style. "Doggy is usually the best position for first-timers, as well as for more experienced anal practitioners," says the content creator. For Bellucci, it's easier to find a good angle, especially when she starts and needs a few minutes to get relaxed and into the zone.

READ: Doggy Style Position: How to ACTUALLY Make it Feel Good.

Incorporate Sex Toys

Madam Carmen says vibrators, such as bullets, eggs and wands, provide extra sensory stimulation during anal sex. "Entry and stretching strokes can feel very intense for the anal novice, so it would help to give them a pleasurable distraction," she says. In addition, she adds, the sensation from the vibrator can overpower the feeling of penetration while providing orgasmic relief.

For other sensory stimuli, Madam Carmen recommends exploring and incorporating temperature play. "This can look like using warm oils, placing glass and metal toys in hot water or the freezer," she says.

Stop Or Pause at Any Point

Consent can be revoked or renegotiated at any time. But, unfortunately, many people don't understand that you can be in the middle of an act with somebody -- like anal sex -- and can put a full stop at any time.

Gold says what feels pleasurable for one person may feel differently for another. "The key is to go slow, communicate with your partner and use plenty of lube. And if something hurts, feels off, or you simply change your mind, it's OK to stop." She says there may be some discomfort initially, but straight-up pain is a red flag.

"Remember that you can stop at any time, and giving consent to anal sex at one moment does not constitute an obligation to continue," says Gold. "If you're not feeling it, stop. You can always resume later." She notes that not everyone will come to embrace anal sex no matter how many times they try, which is perfectly fine as well.

READ: Don't Have Anal Sex If ...

Remember, You're Not a Porn Star!

Knight would like to point out that porn is entertainment; it is directed and edited content.

"What occurs on set is talked about in detail and consented to by all performers," she says. "Most performers wear butt plugs prior to a scene to prepare, and if there is enough time, you can have a moment off-camera with your co-star to rehearse and see if everything feels comfortable."

It usually takes Gold about an hour to open her ass to make an anal scene with a big cock -- and that's because she's done anal sex multiple times and can directly penetrate with a not-so-small toy without a problem.

"I use different size toys while watching a movie, Youtube videos, or TikTok. Just entertain yourself and masturbate your ass. It will eventually open up and be ready for the next big toy or big cock," she says.

If penetration is done by a penis, Gold notes it needs to be extremely hard since the anus is a very tight hole. "It also needs to stay hard for the multiple-hour duration of the shoot," she says. "For this reason, guys may use penile injections to make their cock rock-hard and stay that way for hours." However, she cautions that using these injections can cause dependency, which can have future implications, such as trouble getting a natural erection.

Knight notes what you see in a porn video does not include all the mishaps, breaks to clean up, and other "bloopers" that happen during an actual anal sex session. "Porn videos, most of the time, don't depict all that happens during anal sex: What happens between cuts, water breaks, laughing, cleaning any kind of mess, etcetera," she says.

Doshi advises against people trying to recreate anal sex positions depicted in porn in real life. She says what looks comfortable on video can be extremely uncomfortable in front of a camera.

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So, as Gold says, don't use porn as the benchmark for your personal anal experience. "In films, when the actor instantly penetrates with ease and things appear so clean, it's because of hours of preparation."

"Just do what you are comfortable with and you'll have a good anal experience, but pushing your body is when you set yourself up for failure," says St. Clair.

READ: Why You Should Start Watching Porn and Not Feel Ashamed of It.

The Bottom Line on Butt Love

The rectum and anus are filled with so many rich nerve endings waiting to be fingered, fucked, plugged, pegged and probed. Why deny yourself pleasure from this source?

If you're weirded out about having stuff in your butt, you may want to reconsider and face your fears. (And if you've tried it and still don't like it, that's OK. You get a gold star for giving it a shot!)

Take it slow, use lots of lube, and use a barrier method for protection -- because many STIs can be spread via unprotected anal. And if something doesn't feel quite right, stop immediately. Anal sex should never, ever hurt. There's nothing worse than having a painful experience to make someone decide never to try butt sex again. Because when it's done right, it can be glorious.

Want some kinky sex positions to make the most of your anal play? Check out our sex positions page!

READ: 13 Sex Positions for Great Anal Sex.

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Photo for Ryn Pfeuffer
Ryn Pfeuffer

Ryn Pfeuffer is a versatile print and digital writer specializing in sex, lifestyle, and relationship topics. Over the past two decades, her work has appeared in more than 100 media outlets including Marie Claire, Playboy, Refinery29, The Globe and Mail, The Washington Post, WIRED, and Thrillist.

She adopted a pseudonym and was AVN’s (Adult Video Network) first female porn reviewer – while penning children’s books at the same time. More recently, she is the author of 101 Ways to Rock Online Dating (2019). She lives in Seattle with her rescue dog, Mimi. You can find her on Twitter @rynpfeuffer or IG @ryn_says

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