Thousands of Dating App Users Share Their Hookup Tips

Published: JANUARY 9, 2024
Kinkly and Adult Friend Finder partnered up to survey more than 14,000 people on how to have successful hookups.

More and more people are looking for connections online these days. That's partly because whatever kind of action you're looking for, there's a site for it. It's easy and, let's face it, connecting with the kind of people who float your sexual boat IRL can be tough ... and awkward. If you're looking for social networking and casual sex, sites like Adult Friend Finder can help enable connections with other consenting adults. The online dating platform is safe, secure, and simple to use. And it's a great way for users to tap into their sexuality. After all, there's no shame in wanting straight-up sex.


"Whether you have a lot of sex, a little sex, or no sex – there is nothing wrong with you as long as you're happy and living your true authentic life," says Gigi Engle, a certified sex and relationships psychotherapist, award-winning author, journalist and sex educator. "There is so much stigma around casual sex when, in reality, it can actually be an amazing way to learn about ourselves as lovers." Engle notes that casual sex offers a chance to explore one's sexuality across various contexts. "As long as you're doing it in a way that feels healthy for you, you're doing just fine."

But let's assume you're down for some casual action. How can you get it?

Kinkly and Adult Friend Finder partnered up to survey the Adult Friend Finder audience to uncover their preferences. A total of 14,700 individuals participated, providing insights into the platform and online dating landscape. In other words, we got insider details from people using one of the web's largest dating platforms in an effort to sort out what works - and what doesn't - when it comes to making your hookup fantasies a reality.


We got insider details from people using one of the web's largest dating platforms in an effort to sort out what works - and what doesn't - when it comes to making your hookup fantasies a reality.

Read: How to Find a Threesome: The Ultimate Guide

Why meet people online?

The Adult Friend Finder community has a mix of fresh faces and seasoned insiders: 24% of users have been using and enjoying the platform for than a year, but there are plenty of newbies too; 27% of respondents said they were still getting their feet wet.


You Can Easily Connect with Sexually Like-Minded People

Engle says sites like Adult Friend Finder are an excellent way for like-minded people to connect on their sexual interests. "You get to meet people who are into the same things as you are – and get to explore in ways that are clearly laid out on their profiles," she says. This means less awkwardness all-around.

Plus, while many dating sites are focused on relationships, Adult Friend Finder and other sites like it are more focused on creating sexual connections. In fact, 29% of survey respondents said that regular dating sites were too relationship focused. "You don't need to be on dating sites just to find relationships," says Engle. "It's perfectly valid to use them to explore sexually, as long as you're clearly communicating what you're looking for."

It's Discreet

Opting for online socializing over traditional methods appeals to many: 34% value the discreet environment Adult Friend Finder offers, maintaining privacy, while 29% appreciate the diverse array of potential connections. Engle believes this stems from the community aspect. "People on Adult Friend Finder are in the lifestyle and are looking for the same things,” she says. When we're in a social setting, we rarely are able to interact with people who have the same feelings about sexuality and exploration that we do." Privacy and an immense pool of potential connections create an appealing digital social environment.


You Can Find the Kinds of Connections You Want

People on Adult Friend Finder also have a specific idea in mind when it comes to relationships. A whopping 59% are looking for friends with benefits, differentiating this desire from casual dating or one-night stands. It's clear that this community has a preference for a more intimate, yet mutually respectful and ongoing, connection. Using the right site to connect with people online can help increase the likelihood that you'll make the kinds of connections you are hoping for.

4 Data-Backed Ways to Amp Up Your Dating Profile

OK, so you've chosen your dating site, you've set up your profile ... now what you really want to know is how to get some action, right? We asked Adult Friend Finder users about what worked for them. Here's what they said.

Use High Quality Photos

For 45% of respondents, photos stand out as the pivotal element in an individual's online dating profile. Notably, 24% identified the most significant blunder on this site as having inadequate or no photos at all. This underscores the crucial nature of visual representation in crafting an engaging online dating presence. "Our profile photo is the first thing people see," says Engle. "It's the first opportunity to make an impression. Most people will choose to swipe based entirely on a profile photo."


For 45% of respondents, photos stand out as the pivotal element in an individual's online dating profile.

Take a photo that shows you looking your sexy best, but that is also realistic. After all, you may meet this person in real life! You should also choose at least one full-body shot. Data from Zoosk suggests that people who included a full-body shot in their profile got 203% more messages than other users.

Spend Time on the Written "Introduction"

Eighteen percent of respondents said that the introductory text on a user's profile was the key thing they looked at. So, tell people about yourself - and watch grammar and spelling too. Even if you're just meeting for a one-time hookup, the person on the other side of the profile needs and wants to feel a sense of attraction - and the data shows that goes beyond just your sexy photos.


When contemplating the factors that prompt a decision to meet a fellow member face-to-face, 38% of respondents highlighted physical attraction as the primary driving force. Meanwhile, 27% identified personality as the key criterion influencing their choice to consider an in-person meeting.

Be Sensitive in Asking for a Meetup

Yes, sites like Adult Friend Finder are focused on helping people find sex partners, but how quickly that happens after you connect with someone online varies. Eleven percent of respondents said that asking for a meetup too quickly was one of the biggest mistakes they saw people making on the platform but ... another 11% said that waiting too long to ask for a meetup was also a problem. What does that mean for you? Consider treating people on the platform as you would (we hope) treat people in real life. Get to know them, gauge their interest and express what you're interested in without getting pushy.

Since joining the site, 41% of respondents have had between two and nine dates or hookups. In terms of in-person relationships, 24% engaged in one-time hookups, and 18% experienced friends with benefits, reflecting the diverse range of connections pursued, from casual encounters to more intimate arrangements within this community.

Regarding meeting in person, the pace varies: 46% recommend meeting after a few message exchanges. In comparison, 27% prefer a real-time conversation (phone or video) before meeting. Additionally, 54% opt for a first meetup at a public location. This is an opportunity to do a vibe check," says Engle. When you're meeting someone for the first time -- whether it's a date or it's for sex – she emphasizes it's important to consider safety. "When we meet in public, we're able to assess if this is a safe person," she says. "Meeting someone in their house or apartment for the first time has risks."

Be Clear About Your Kinks

While only 5% of people said the "My Kinks" section of the Adult Friend Finder profile was the most important part of the profile for them, if you have a specific kink, especially if it's a niche one, consider laying it out there; 16% of people said that having the same interests/kinks as someone else was a key way to get their attention. After all, you're much more likely to connect with other people who want to play like you do if they know how you'd like to play!

Openly expressing desires can be both daunting and exhilarating. Platforms like Adult Friend Finder empower users to navigate beyond conventional norms and engage with potential partners authentically. If you prioritize consent, safety, and comfort in your adult interactions, why worry about conforming to societal expectations? There's a big wide world of sexy, no-strings-attached fun to be had.

Ryn Pfeuffer

Ryn Pfeuffer is a versatile print and digital writer specializing in sex, lifestyle, and relationship topics. She got her start in the mid-90s at the Philadelphia Weekly, managing a 10-page section of the newspaper and more than 500 lonely hearts.Her professional stock skyrocketed when she started writing a saucy (and pre-Carrie-Bradshaw-era) dating advice column called “Ask Me Anything.” She appeared regularly on local radio stations and late-night TV as an expert on everything from grooming...

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