SEX TOYS AND PRODUCTS
The Snail Vibe: Sex Toy Review
Enjoy getting nailed by the Snail Vibe. This vibe takes you from 0 to 60...you might want to call it "Turbo."
The Verdict: 4 Kinkly Hearts (out of 5)
Everyone, I’d like you to meet my new bestie, Snailie, the Snail Vibe. No, she’s not perfect, but just like with my human bffs, her good points are really great and ultimately outweigh the drawbacks. (Although to be clear, if my best friend is reading this, I give you 5 stars!)
The Snail Vibe is a dual vibrator and the shape really does look like a snail. The “shell” is a ball-shaped clitoral vibrator, the “tail” is an insertable shaft that also vibrates and the “head” is a smaller ball where the controls are situated.
The shaft and clit stimulator each have a seperate motor, meaning you can set different patterns and intensities for each, or use them one at a time.
How Did You Use It?
So I’ve had a lot in the spank bank this last little while and the Snail Vibe has been called into service often. Snailie is on her third charge of the week, and that’s not (only) because of a short battery life. I ended up unintentionally ruining my own orgasm when it ran out of charge and died on me at a VERY inopportune time. Luckily I had back up.
I used it mainly in its dual capacity, thrusting and vibing. I found it enjoyable to use without the shaft motor sometimes. The shaft vibrator is not as powerful as the clit vibrator and I got more pleasure from the thrusting than the vibing anyway.
I also turned the Snail Vibe around and used it like a wand vibrator. That snail shell packs a punch! The strong vibrations are pretty quickly orgasmic which is good (aside from the obvious reason) because the handle vibrates a bit even if you don’t have the shaft motor on and I find getting my hand vibrated to be annoying, so I’m glad it doesn’t take long!
If you are a person that prefers soft fluttering touches on your cooch, you might find even the lower settings a bit much and want to keep your underwear on or use it through a sheet.
How Else Could You Use It?
Ostensibly, you are supposed to be able to use the Snail Vibe as a g-spot vibrator, but the shaft is straight so you need to angle it just so, and frankly, my arms are not long enough to get it to the right spot and hold it in place. If you have a partner to work the handle end for you, I can see it working a whole lot better.
Because of the power in the motor, the Snail Vibe could be used in a vibrator torture/forced orgasm scene, but for me, the goofy look of it might break the mood a bit.
The wide ends of the Snail Vibe mean the shaft vibrator could go up the bum without fear of losing it, but I would be a bit hesitant because a) it is so rigid it might not be too comfortable, and b) cleaning it is a bitch.
As I mentioned before, both motors work independently of the other. Each motor has five vibration patterns and five intensity levels, which according to the manufacturer means about 600 options to get YOUR motor revving.
It's shockingly quiet for how strong the vibrations are. I cranked it up and stood beside the bed with a blanket over Snailie and couldn't hear anything. If you can manage to be quiet while using it, your roommates/kids/neighbours won't hear a thing.
Total Length: 9.4"
Insertable Length: 1.3" to 5.5"
Insertable Diameter: 1.4"
How It Works
On the “head” of the Snail Vibe are two double-ended buttons (one for each motor.) The + button on each controls the power and the intensity. The button with a squiggle shape on it controls the pattern. The motors work independently of each other, so you can vary it to your liking. Pressing and holding the + button turns the motor on/off, and a quick press changes the intensity. A light in the center of each button indicates if it is on.
The design is unusual, but pretty cool. Unlike some rabbit vibes that lift off the clit if you move the internal part in and out, you can thrust the shaft of the Snail Vibe without losing clitoral contact. The ball of the shell rests on the mons and the shaft unfurls to lengthen when you push it inside. The clitoral vibrator portion kind of braces itself against you to hold in place while you use your hand to guide the shaft in and out. It’s like a sexy slide whistle.
They have a demonstration of how it works on the Snail Vibe website (use your mouse to drag and hold) but I'll warn you, they have added porno sounding moans to the demo for some unknown reason (they don't even show a human, just a disembodied voice.) It feels alienating and objectifying to me, so I hope they change it, but it does give you an idea of how it moves. Just make sure you turn the volume down!
Materials and Care
The Snail Vibe is made from body-safe silicone. It looks like it should be waterproof and is said to have a rating of IP67, which according to Trusted Reviews means it has been tested to withstand being in water of up to 1 meter for 30 minutes. The instruction manual specifies it is safe to clean in water (unplug the charger first!) and doesn’t say anything about taking it in the bath or shower, so I would recommend you don’t. Probably best to consider it "splashproof."
Speaking of the manual, it states you should get about an hours’ use from a charge and that charging it fully should take about two hours. I charged it for almost three hours the first time and the “charging” light was still flashing (it goes solid when charging is complete.) But a gal has NEEDS and patience isn’t what I would call my strong suit, so I unplugged it and used it anyway. I still got around an hour worth of play. The next two times I put it on the charger I ended up falling asleep so I don’t know how long it took to re-charge, but I woke up to a fully charged vibrator, so that was good.
As the Snail Vibe is silicone, it may get degraded by silicone lubes, so stick with water-based lubricant.
And you know to always wash your toy before and after you use it, I won’t repeat that. But you are going to have to give the Snail Vibe some special attention to remain hygienic...one of the reasons it doesn’t get full marks from me.
Cleaning it is a pain in the butt. I don’t mean the fun kind.
The twists and turns on Snalile's body mean there are crevices that lube and what-have-you can get trapped in, as well as a swirly design etched into the side that collects the stuff you are trying to clean off. I had to scrub with cleanser on a Q-Tip to get into all the tight spaces and that was pretty much the last thing I wanted to do after multiple blended orgasms, ya dig?