The sex toy I bought doesn't work for my body. What should I do?

Q:

The sex toy I bought doesn't work for my body. What should I do?

A:

Maybe the toy doesn't work for you. That's totally OK - all bodies are different. But I always tell people that if they haven't tried a toy at least five times, they haven't really given it a chance. So, maybe you have a G-spot vibrator like the Sola Cue and you find you really don't like the sensation of vibration on your G-spot at all. Why not try it for external play? (Yes, it works just fine!) In fact, 70% of women will use a G-spot vibe for external play.

There may be some other reasons the toy didn't work for you. Here are a few other things to consider:

  • Have you tried using the toy with lube? Whether you're using it internally or externally, this can really help!
  • Did you try the toy alone or with a partner? If you've only tried one, you may want to try the other ...
  • Were you stressed out or distracted when you were trying to play? This never sets the stage for a great orgasmic experience. Give yourself time, let yourself relax and make sure you have plenty of privacy.

As I said, if the toy really isn't for you, that's OK. It happens to everyone. I do want you to get that fat orgasm per dollar value, though. So do your research on various sex toys that interest you, read sex toy reviews, check out the toys in your local sex shop and take what you've learned from a toy that didn't work to find one that does.

Have a question? Ask Ducky here.

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Written by Ducky Doolittle
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Ducky DooLittle is a pleasure-based sex educator and the resident sex toy expert for Blush Novelties and Sola. She also leads the marketing team, does some sex toy design work, tests prototypes and brings pleasure to the world! She's also a certified Sexual Assault and Violence Intervention Counselor and the author of "Sex With the Lights On: 200 Illuminating Sex Questions Answered." Ducky has appeared in the New York Times, HBO's "Real Sex", "The Morning Show", MTV, NPR, "The Howard Stern Show" and Playboy TV.

She loves to bake, cook, garden, make things and write.

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