The Big Penis Hoax: Why Size Doesn’t Matter as Much as You Think and W

by Kinkly
Published: JANUARY 9, 2015 | Updated: JUNE 30, 2022
Most men worry about the size of their penis. Most women don't. Women are more concerned about your overall sexy time prowess and your emotional availability.

Want a bigger penis? You’re in good company. Studies show that almost half of self-defined "average-size" men are worried about their penile dimensions. On my website, the question guys ask me most often is whether their junk is too small. Some have even sent pics! Yes, really. No, please do not send yours.


What’s Small?

In the official bell (ball?) curve of penis study, scientific measurements show that:

  • almost 70% of men’s penises are between 4.6 and 6.0 inches while erect, with a normal girth of 4.8 inches;
  • 13.5% of men’s penises are between 3.8 and 4.5 inches, and 13.5% are between 6.1 and 6.8 inches;
  • very few (2.5% at each end of the distribution) are over 6.9 inches or under 3.7 inches long.

Size definitely matters - to men. About 90% of men who think they’re small want a larger penis—as do nearly half of self-defined "average" guys, and 14% of self-described "large" men (greedy bastards!). Sadly, 15% of self-judged "small" men even admit hiding their genitals during sex.


What Do Women Want?

Apparently, most guys buy into the sales pitches promising Sex God status to the hugely endowed. They believe the porn industry’s unfavorable comparisons with mere mortals and the seemingly resultant ecstasy porn stars inspire in their onscreen lovers.

Yet, what do women think about penis size?

Not much.


First, women’s perceptions of their partner’s size may be more generous than the real-life bell curve! Hard science finds that almost 67% of women say their guy’s penis is of average size, 27% say it’s large, and just 6% say it’s small.

Let me say that again: only a mere 6% of women say their guy’s penis is small.

Even then, "small" doesn’t necessarily equal "bad" in most women’s opinions. Yeah, there are a few size queens out there, but not many.


When Size Matters to Women

Women who have sex just for adventure, which is just a tiny fraction of women, admit they are interested in different sizes because they are curious if they will experience different sexual satisfaction. Interestingly, these women usually say they don’t like the biggest penises because there’s not enough, um, wiggle room.

A statistical few women require pressure against the cervix in order to have an orgasm—meaning they really do require some length, because during arousal, the vagina expands so the cervix takes 5-to-6 inches to reach.


And When It Doesn’t

However, the vast majority of women are satisfied with their partner’s penis size. In the USA, 84% of women are "very satisfied" with their partner’s size. Just 14% desire a larger penis on their partner, and 2% want a smaller penis. One-third are satisfied even when they define their partner as small!

As you can see, men’s worries are (usually) pointless, as far as dimensions go.

That’s the science. It’s also my experience. I’ve written about sex and relationships for many years. Women and men in 30 countries read my blog; and never has even one woman approached me to complain about her partner’s size nor to ask how she can get her man to be bigger.


Don’t you think that if this were a real concern for women that I would have heard from at least one by now?

What to Do

It’s true that we women have sex primarily for physical pleasure. We’ll often cheat on or leave a lame lay. However, the size of your dick is not what we equate with being bad in bed!

Nope. We judge whether you make us orgasm. That is, by the way, surprisingly unrelated to your penis. Yet, it is related to the following:

Your Knowledge and Attitude

How well do you get to know a woman’s individual sexual needs and pleasures? Every woman is different. It's like a puzzle that no one strategy or technique will put together. Some evolutionary psychologists even think this is a way for women to test whether you will love them enough to stick around. Guys who figure us out pass the test. Men who do whatever in the hell it takes pass the test.

Maybe that’s one reason women with partners who have a smaller penis tend to be more sexually satisfied than women with partners who have a larger penis. Their men know they can’t rely only on their penis; they get creative and put in all the effort to make sure their partner reaches climax.

Your Relationship With the Clitoris

Only a fourth of women ever come during penetration. Ever.

That’s because of our size, not the penis size of their partner. Specifically, the distance of a woman’s clit from her vagina is what helps her, or hinders her, from orgasming during intercourse.

So, guys who are great lays focus their efforts on the outside of their partner’s body—on the clitoris. Every single penis, tongue, and finger in existence can reach the clitoris.

Still don’t believe me? One hundred percent of women stimulate their clit every single time they masturbate. Yet only 20% of women even occasionally put something inside of their vagina.

This tells you that women know that the clitoris is supremely important in orgasming.

Your Relationship With Your Woman

A huge part of sexual pleasure for many women is whether the emotional vibe is right; a great physical lover who is emotionally absent can result in an empty experience. When we’re in long-term relationship mode, we women want your heart and soul, too.

I would advise you to understand that no man has universally got the endowment that women are universally looking for because there is no "universal" standard. Most men have plenty for most women.

All men can reach the parts of women that really bond us to you: our hearts and our clits.

Go forth with confidence and remember that your best sex organs—the ones women really want—are between your ears and within your heart. Figure out what your woman wants rather than what you think all women want. Then, give it to your woman with love and enthusiasm.

You will be irresistible, and rightly so.


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