3. Consider Trying Toys First
When it comes to new sexual sensations, trying them out on your own can be a great way to figure out what works for you - and to get comfortable with those new feelings before bringing a partner into the mix. A great way to try out anal play is to incorporate an anal toy like an anal plug or beads. These toys are great for testing the waters with a partner too!
New Toy to Know: b-Vibe's Anal Education Set
4. Make Sure to Warm Up
You can’t typically jump straight into anal sex. Yes, porn performers make it look easy. No, you shouldn’t try the same at home.
The main goal is to get turned on. You can masturbate or enjoy other forms of sex with your partner, but you need to become aroused to get your body and mind ready for anal play. If you aren't turned on, it will be more difficult to enjoy the experience. Being sexually excited will ease the stress and let you both enjoy the whole experience a lot more. There is no need to rush - take your time and make sure you’re having fun.
Other forms of anal play can be incorporated too! This includes analingus (basically oral sex for your butt), which will allow you to get more comfortable with your partner being so close to your butt. You can also introduce butt plugs (with a flared base), which will allow you to get used to the sensation of something inserted into your butt. Playing with your butt in ways that aren’t “penis in anus” are excellent ways to overcome some fears and get more comfortable with the idea and the new sensations.
5. Don't Forget It's About Pleasure
While you're focusing on anal sex, you might forget other parts of your body. Anal sex doesn’t mean forget about everything else. Depending on your position, your partner can help stimulate other pleasure zones or you can do it yourself. You can always use your hands or a toy to stimulate your clitoris or G-spot. Your partner can tease your nipples or kiss your neck too! You don't need to have double-penetration, but you also don't need to focus solely on the sensations in your anus. Enjoy the moment, which might include other forms of pleasure.
You can also change positions if one isn't working for you. Often, we think of doggy style for anal sex, but there are plenty of other great ones that are possible. Some are even considered better for beginners, including when the woman "sits down" onto the man's penis. This means that the woman is completely in control of speed, depth, and the angle. If you're going to enjoy it more if you’re in control, then go for it!
6. Communication - Before, During and After
Communication is essential throughout the entire process. Before you begin, talk about how to prepare for anal sex as well as how the act makes you feel. During, discuss the sensations and your comfort, including if your partner should go faster or slower or reapply lubricant. After, talk about what you liked or didn't like and how to improve for next time (if you're both willing to try it again).
Communication about pleasure can be complicated for women. Our pleasure is often dismissed or we are made to feel embarrassed about verbalizing our desires. However, preparation and communication are essential for anal sex to be successful. Talking about it will benefit everyone involved. You will enjoy it more and your partner will love that you are enjoying it. It's a win for both of you! And who knows, maybe if you talk about it, he'll consider pegging!
Anal sex can be a lot of fun and a great addition to your sex sessions, whether it is thrown into the mix every time or only done occasionally. You might not love it your first time, but many people find that they experience intense pleasure from anal sex once they get used to it. If you prepare both mentally and physically, then you will set yourself up for success. This guide is just a starting point for women or their partners who are interesting in trying out anal play. Take this information, build on it with your own research, and then let us know how it goes!