The word “sploshing” refers to food play in general. At its most specific, sploshing refers to getting bottomless and sitting on a fancy dessert. If the onomatopoeiatic term “sploshing” seems inherently funny to you, you’ll be pleased to know that this kink is also called “Wet and Messy,” WAM, and even more descriptively: “Cake-sitting.” When used in a broader context, sploshing can include smearing food anywhere on the body.
Sploshing: Sweet Fetish or a Waste of Good Cake?
So, who participates in sploshing?
Lots of people. In 2016, U.K. food enthusiasts Bompas and Parr collaborated with fashion photographer Jo Duck to create a series of splendid photographs of cake-sitting and other wet-and-messy goings on. The photos caused a stir for their artistic excellence, bare butts, and also because splosh-talk is finally making its way into the mainstream. Like any kink or fetish, people have strong and mixed opinions about sploshing. Sploshing has many enthusiasts who participate in Twitter hashtags, Instagram pages, and even Pinterest boards. Just in case this needs saying, sploshing websites are generally not safe for work.
To many, the idea of sploshing reminds us of purported Internet Rule 34, which states: “If something exists, there is porn of it.” In other words, someone, somewhere, finds it interesting to masturbate to every single thing that exists. I don’t know if I believe that, but it has become increasingly true that the Internet can lead us to vast and unexpected places to find sexuality. We’ve all heard desserts referred to as “orgasmic,” but most of us don’t incorporate the dessert into the act of having an orgasm. It’s merely a figure of speech.
What foods do people use for sploshing?
Acceptable desserts can include fancy cake, pies, molded Jell-O (fruit optional), or any other dessert that can be piled high for easy smashing. If one is taking pics or making video of their forays into sploshing, foods used should “cling” to the body. This makes pudding trifles, cream pies, syrups, and thick sauces (like chocolate, mmmmm) especially good for photogenic sploshery. It’s not all sweet, though. Some sploshers enjoy using savory foods like baked beans, mac & cheese, and even lasagna.
But wait. Isn’t sitting on a real dessert dangerous? Actually, it can be. Most women already know that sugar in the underpants-zone can be a recipe for a nasty yeast infection. The vagina maintains a very specific PH balance in order to ensure that infections don’t happen. When you add foodstuffs (or anything not specifically designed for vaginal use) to the equation, you disrupt that careful balance and leave yourself open to infections. But there’s more. Yeast craves sugar, as anyone who has ever made a loaf of bread can tell you. The combination of disrupting natural defenses while offering nasty yeast a sweet snack? Nope. Don’t do it.
What does safe sploshing entail?
Some say that they can use sugary foods, honey, etc., in their lady parts without adverse effects. If you want to risk it, it’s advisable to shower or bathe immediately afterward, taking special care to remove all sugary substances from the outside and inside of your body. Other options include using specially made items that look like food, but aren’t. Shaving cream pies, for example, or a special sploshing cake made entirely without sugar (so, not from a boxed mix). After all, if you’re going to bake and frost a cake just to sit on it, you may as well take the extra time to make it sugar-free. It’s also possible to do cake sitting with a thin layer of plastic wrap between you and the confection in question.
Wet and messy fun doesn’t have to include literal cake-sitting if you’re nervous about where the sugar might end up. Sploshing can include pies to the face, smearing or spooning foodstuffs anywhere on the body. In fact, you don’t even have to be naked to splosh if you don’t want to - though wearing clothes might lead to more laundry than you’re prepared to do. These activities are probably best performed outside the bedroom, or maybe at a hotel where you won’t be stuck with the cleanup (be sure to leave a great tip if you go that route). (Get more tips in A Beginner's Guide to Food Play.)
Seriously, why would anyone do that?
The origins of sploshing, or any sexual fetish, are a matter of educated guesswork. We’ve all seen enough pictures of cute babies wearing bowls of Spaghetti-Os to know that rubbing food all over ourselves isn’t something we need a reason to do. Playing with our food, or enjoying different sensations, is fun for everyone. As we grow and mature, we’re slowly conditioned to believe that we can’t just smear pie all over our faces in public because we want to do it. Like many fetishes and kinks, it may be because food play is frowned upon that adults find it sexually titillating. Who doesn’t love a little taste of the forbidden once in a while, especially when there’s chocolate cream pie involved?
Whether you think sploshing is a fun anniversary activity or just a waste of good cake, it’s a good idea to have an understanding of fetishes, even if you don’t think you’d ever try them yourself. The next time you see a couple in a bakery perusing sweet treats and talking about wet and messy fun, you can give them a knowing wink and a smile.
Wednesday Lee Friday is an eclectic writer of fact and fiction. She has worked as a reptile wrangler, phone sex operator, radio personality, concierge, editor, fast food manager, horror novelist, and she owns a soap shop. She prefers jobs that let her sleep during the day. Everybody knows all the best art and literature happen at night!