Single During the Holidays? Cuffing Season Do's and Don'ts
The holidays can make us long to be coupled up but seasons change ...
It’s that time of year again: warm drinks, fires crackling, leaves falling and holidays dinners. It is the season of coming together. Whether to keep warm, as our ancestors did, or to catch up with friends and family we haven’t seen all year, the colder months bring with them a need to belong.
Part of this belonging is the sudden urge to couple up. We may think about dating or hope to find a meaningful relationship all year long but something about the temperatures dropping and party invitations that denote the option of a plus one can make this desire seem far more pressing.
Popular culture has come up with a term for this itch: Cuffing Season.
According to Urban Dictionary, Cuffing Season starts after Halloween and ends after Valentines Day. It is a time when the happy singleton is forced to rethink their chosen solitude, when casual relationships become more serious, and when serious relationships become engagements. Because the colder months have holidays and holiday gatherings there is an extra pressure to find someone to bring to these events. This is also a season of reflection - we discuss our goals for the new year, reflect on what we have, and remind ourselves of who and what truly matters in our lives.
Reacting to all of this can also cause some rather negative responses. It can cause us to feel bad about ourselves if our lives and relationships aren’t where we thought they would or should be. The good news is that having a happy Cuffing Season requires an element of mindful intention and understanding of how to navigate these expectations. Here are the top do's and don’t of cuffing it up.
Do Decide on What It Is You Truly Want
Are you looking for a short-term snuggle buddy, a bit of casual sex or a life partner? Being upfront with this can mean the difference between a hurtful miscommunication and a match made in holiday heaven. Examine what your short and long-term romantic goals are and be honest with yourself and your dates about this.
Do Enjoy the Process
Don’t let frost and snow keep you locked away from the world. Dating in the winter can be so much fun! Walking through a Christmas tree farm, shopping for winter coats, driving through town with cocoa in hand while looking at lights are all fun, inexpensive, and engaging seasonal date ideas.
Do Know That You Can Have a Merry Season Without a Love Interest
The desire to have a date or to do holiday things with someone doesn’t mean it has to be a romantic someone. How about making new friends or growing closer to the ones you have? Platonic cuffing can be just as fulfilling!
Don't Cave to Pressure
Yes, I know, your great aunt Sally is always all over you about who you’re seeing and why “a nice person like you is STILL single.” I know that these comments can be annoying and even painful to face but jumping into something that doesn’t make you happy isn’t the answer.