Masturbation and solo sex

Sex Stories We Love: Never Too Late, Helping Statements, & Something New

Published: MAY 25, 2016
In this week's Sex Stories We Love, we talk about masturbation in sex ed, discuss whether tips on masturbation really help others, and some new and sexy masturbation positions!

What a wonderful #MasturbationMonth it's been! With every year we celebrate the joys and pleasure of self-love, we learn more and understand more of each others’ experiences. As with everything related to sex, masturbation is a very different experience for everybody. However, we can all move forward, through the rest of the year and beyond, with positive thoughts.


Survey Says...

We can't let one last post about masturbation go by without another big masturbation survey for people to fill out with one hand. We-Vibe set this one up and it reveals some different ideas that aren’t often captured in other findings. The first is that men aren’t so much into using sex toys during masturbation. I suggest that sex toys for men have been fairly shitty throughout the years. However, that is changing. There some stellar products out there there will blow your socks off, fellas. There is also a changing perception around men’s masturbation. It has always been seen as particularly utilitarian, and a hand will do for that. Yet now, we’re starting to see the pure pleasure in it and the products are following suit. Move forward with new toys.

Language, Please!

This is a really good article full of fun writing, good advice, and potentially new ideas. However, in this month of masturbation, it fails one of the most basic aspects of productive sex conversation: blame. The title, “Memo to Women Who Don't Masturbate: You're Doing It Wrong” is an alarmingly negative message to women. There is already enough stigma currently attached to women’s masturbation and this awful headline spouts such a negative statement. Maybe women who do not masturbate do not want to do it. Maybe some women are asexual. Maybe women who do will not be into your singular view of masturbation techniques. Maybe every single thing spouted in this argument won’t work for some women. Move forward with better front-facing language.

Never Too Late

It is never too late for sex education, with masturbation being an important theme to discuss. Fortunately, more and more jurisdictions are broaching the topic. Some are making progress toward sharing important sex information, such as ideas around masturbation, with young people...and others are not. Let’s not forget that we all, in some way, can help kids learn and understand the role masturbation can play in their lives. The positive role...not the fear-mongering role. We can be active in letting governments know that sex ed is important. We can be active in our community with sex ed initiatives. We can be active at home by speaking with the young people in our lives. Move forward with thoughts on how to help young people.


Helping Statements

As per usual, Andrew Morrison-Gurza knocks it out of the park when he discusses issues of sex and disability - and masturbation. In his post, he shares his vulnerability, shame, masculinity, and other complex issues relating to a “spontaneous emission” he experienced. A friend suggested he masturbate more often—but that is a pretty loaded statement. Fortunately, Andrew shares some realities of his sexual experience and life that should give others more pause for thought in offering suggestions and advice. Suggestions can be well-intended, but they might not be fully considerate. Especially when it comes to sex, we need to be understanding to everybody’s sexual realities, be they physical, emotional, or cultural. It is all too easy to say “You should do this…” but much more helpful to ask “How does this affect you…” Move forward with asking, not telling.

Something New

One of the great things about Masturbation Month is that there are many posts about new ways to pleasure yourself. We’re all pretty creative in our own ways, and you never know, some of our Doin’ Yourself techniques just might turn someone else’s crank, too. Here are just five ideas, but given that I don’t have the necessary anatomy, I’ll leave it up to others to judge them. In addition, I ask “Do you have a favorite masturbation method that you don’t think anyone else uses?” If so, drop it in the comments below, You just might help someone else, too! Move forward by sharing.

Jon Pressick

Jon Pressick is a sex-related media gadabout. For more than 20 years, Jon has been putting sex into our daily conversations at his long-running site SexInWords—as a writer, editor, publisher, sex toy reviewer, radio host, workshop facilitator, event producer and more. These days, he focuses on writing for Kinkly, GetMeGiddy, The Buzz and PinkPlayMags and editing Jason Armstrong's series of Solosexual books. In 2015, Jon edited Cleis Press' Best Sex Writing of the...

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