“We’ll take Sex Stories We Love Porpourri for $500, Alex.”
Sex Stories We Love: Good Yea Mates, Contractually Yours & Sexytime Snacks
“It’s a Daily Double!”
“Damn right, Alex.”
I wonder, what would sex potpourri smell like. You take a think on that while you relive the past week in sex news.
Moving Forward by Looking Back
The time is now. Over the past few years there have been advances in moving past and ending rape and sexual harassment culture. The biggest problem in its persistence is that men will not buy into making change. Why would we? I mean, not if we understand how we benefit from it, right? But that shit has to change. Now. And one way to help that progression is making this guide to sexual harassment and abuse mandatory reading to all men in your circle. And I’m not talking to women here (though we’d appreciate the help). This plague is a toxic male and masculinity issue - and men have to be at the forefront of making this change. Show this to your buddies, your coworkers, your dad, your teammates and your sons. Reflect and figure out how it applies to you. Talk about it with all of these people. Women have done the emotional labor for so long to try to fix our transgressions. Men need to step the fuck up.
One Thing Is False
One good place to start? Let’s get the idea of false rape accusations out of our heads. For years, we’ve known, statistically, that false rape accusations are exceptionally rare. The number of sexual assault reports and arrests that turn to out be fabrications is minuscule compared to other crimes, including murder. Unfortunately, a few high profile instances of actual false accusations have been grasped and held onto by lawyers and the media. Holding on to this false reality makes it very difficult for people who do try to lodge legitimate rape allegations. It greatly contributes to the difficult questions that are asked and the challenges that victims (who outnumber false accusers by, well, an astronomical percentage) face when seeking justice. The real stats that matter are the ones that show just how pervasive rape culture is.
Good Yea, Mates!
One the good news front, the people of Australia have spoken with a resounding ‘YES’ in support of legalizing same sex marriage. It is surprising the country doesn’t already have this right enshrined in law, given the size of Sydney’s Pride festival. There is still a conservative bent to the country and there are still hurdles to be cleared in the next few weeks. Despite the population being in favor, some elected representatives are still vowing to oppose any legislation. Then there are those who want to allow marriage while at the same time entrenching restrictions around the nuptials. The rest of the world celebrated on the surface, but Australians are still nervous. Send your most fabulous thoughts to the LGBTQ community down under.
Speaking of marriage, everyone who is married (or partnered long-term) is fully aware of the negotiations and concessions that are required to make that relationship work. Some folks are already aware that a formal contract can do wonders in maintaining love, sex and sanity. This practice definitely fell out of favor for a long time, but an archaeological dig in Turkey has revealed that marriage contracts were definitely a thing in the past. This particular artifact, a clay, engraved tablet, reveals much about the relationship between Laqipum and Hatala, particularly when it comes to having children (and the possibility of using surrogates to ensure children to the couple) and the potential of divorce. Some would consider this practice unromantic, but it just makes a lot of sense. While some things can't be planned in advance, particularly when it comes to sex, noting expectations and needs in a relations could help the long-term stability of the coupling.
Don't Believe the Hype
One thing you might want to consider discussing in advance is what your comfort is with advancing sex tech. More and more devices are incorporating Bluetooth technology to control toys at a distance through apps. Some folks are pretty sketched at with the possibility that their “data” might somehow get transmitted and end up in someone else’s hands. There was a little bit of hysteria recently when it was discovered that a bug in the Lovense app created an audio file of a Bluetooth enabled session. As it turns out, there was no way the file was transmitted anywhere and was stored locally on the user’s phone. That didn’t stop folks from overreacting when the story was posted on Reddit. The company has since fixed the bug and it was proven that the file was not shared in any way. But, as noted by information security expert Brad Haines “…something could be the most boring thing on the planet, but the moment it’s associated with sex, it’s a sensation.” Of course, if you’re uncomfortable with Internet connected toys, it is best to take a pass. However, if you’re looking for reliable information, do some thorough research.
Finally, do you believe in aphrodisiacs? Would you try these tasty treats to boost your libido?
Jon Pressick is a sex-related media gadabout. For more than 20 years, Jon has been putting sex into our daily conversations at his long-running site SexInWords—as a writer, editor, publisher, sex toy reviewer, radio host, workshop facilitator, event producer and more. These days, he focuses on writing for Kinkly, GetMeGiddy, The Buzz and PinkPlayMags and editing Jason Armstrong's series of Solosexual books. You can find him on Twitter at @Sexinwords.