To put it simply, 2020 has not been a great year. But here at Kinkly, we want to do our part to help changed the tides, in any way we can. We've been listening and learning. Kinkly has always strived for equality and inclusivity. We have lots to learn and work to do, but we want to be an active part of the solution and the fight for equality.
Sex Blogger of the Month: Wendy from The Wench Works
As such, we are devoting every our Sex Blogger of the Month features to BIPOC blogs through the rest of 2020.
We're excited to present our July Sex Blogger of the Month, Wendy from The Wench Works! If you're searching for a sex blog featuring sex toy reviews, insightful articles on kink and BDSM, and bangin' monthly playlists, look no further!
We're excited to bring these 10 questions with Wendy to you to help you get to know her and The Wench Works better!
Kinkly: Give us three words that describe your blog.
Wendy: Kinky. Blush-worthy. Sassy.
Kinkly: What inspired you to start the blog?
Wendy: Oh lord. I’m not gonna lie- the great Epiphora. I found her blog first and I was so fascinated with it, and I loved it so much that I was like “Wow! I want to review sex toys and be funny, and have fun!”. Little did I know that a lot more work goes into having a sex blog than being funny and masturbating. It’s actually a lot of work and it’s not always fun. Either way, I enjoy it!
Kinkly: What’s behind the name?
Wendy: I always loved the idea of taking back names that were derogatory. I know “wench” was used in a negative way, so one day while brainstorming names and crossing names off my “potential blog names” list (and there was A LOT), I was just “What about The Wench Works”? It was catchy, it was fun, and I kind of like taking back the term wench.
Kinkly: Who’s your target reader?
Wendy: I get asked this a lot, and I never know the answer! I’m a Person of Color, and I want my blog to be a safe space for other PoC- my blog is for PoC before anyone else. Kinky PoC, sexually liberated PoC, PoC who are still finding their sexy bone. After PoC, it’s for anyone who loves to be kinky, anyone who loves a good laugh while reading sex toy reviews, and anyone who’s looking for a sex positive friend.
Kinkly: What’s unique about your blog?
Wendy: I think The Wench Works is really unique in the way it talks about and approaches kink. It’s not always “ALL KINKS ARE GREAT AND AWESOME!” sometimes it dissects kinks from a neutral standpoint and puts them under a microscope, and sometimes that’s uncomfortable. I dissect my own kinks primarily and try to look at them from all angles. It’s something I love to do.
Another unique thing about The Wench Works is it’s unapologetically honest (and funny, if I do say so myself). I try my best to be honest about everything. Be it a sex toy review, an analysis of kink critical discourse, or even just a check up on mental health. Honesty is key. If your readers can’t trust you to be honest, what can they trust you with?
Kinkly: What is the topic you find yourself covering most often and why?
Wendy: It’s a tie between Kink Discourse and Mental Health. When I started The Wench Works, the blog focused heavy on sex and mental health. (Nowadays, not so much. But I’m getting back there!) I often talked about my own mental health, and tried to discuss where sex and mental illness connected. I can’t say I was always successful covering that topic, mainly because I’m just not versed enough in it. But I revisit it a lot.
As far as Kink Discourse goes, I’m known for being analytical about kink. All kink. Not because I find kink to be bad - I love kink. I’m kinky as hell. But because I think it’s important to look at kink from every which way and make sure it’s safe, sane, and consensual for every party involved, and even for those who aren’t involved but may be targeted from whatever kinks that can be partook in.
Kinkly: What was your most popular post ever? Why do you think it drew so many readers?
Wendy: “Becoming A Slave: A Beginners Foray Into The Master/Slave Dynamic” stands to be my most popular post. I think it’s so popular because it explores a dynamic that a lot of people are either familiar with, or want to be more familiar with it. It’s brutal. It’s honest. At some points, it’s even painful (in the heart-wrenching sort of way). I really put myself out there for that post, and I think folks really see that. There’s a lot of looking within and trying to find yourself and where you belong kink-wise in the post. A lot of readers, I feel, might struggle with wondering if something is for them or not, and maybe by doing some of the work for them and putting myself out there, they could find through my writing if it was or wasn’t.
Kinkly: What’s the best thing about writing a sex blog?
Wendy: Meeting so many great people, and making so many great connections. I’ve met some lifelong friends who have taught me so much! That’s another thing- learning so much. I’ve learned a lot about sexuality, gender, and all sorts of ally-ship. I never would have known about so much if it wasn’t for this blog.
Kinkly: What’s the worst thing about it?
Wendy: Writing. No, really, writing. Sometimes you just want the words to appear by themself on the screen. You don’t always have the muse to sit down and write. It’s time-consuming, and it’s hard work. It’s a big reason why I brought my editor, Korppi onboard. She’s now a co-writer on The Wench Works and helps me crank out content more regularly. It’s hard work. Especially if you want to stay current and give good stuff to readers.
Kinkly: OK, now for the good stuff: Give us your best tip for great sex.
Wendy: Be yourself! Be yourself in bed. Make noise, laugh, discuss being spanked if that’s what you’re into! It’s so much fun when you and your partner are relaxed and just enjoying the moment. Sex toys are great to bring into the bedroom, but in my opinion, you can’t bring anything in to play with if you can’t even be who you are with your partner (or fling!). Be yourself and find pleasure in doing so.
Sex is a bit like a secret society; everyone's doing it, it's just that no one talks about it. Kinkly's mission is to start that conversation, answer your questions and help you discover new and exciting things about sex, love and your body. We guarantee it'll be illuminating, enlightening, fun ... and a little kinky. And that's OK with us.
No innuendos, no judgments and no apologies, just fearless, straight-up talk about sex.