Spring is here, and it's time to name our April Sex Blogger of the Month! If you're new to this series or our site, each month we spend a lot of time reading sexy, sultry, educational, and entertaining sex blogs to bring you the best of the best. With summer just around the corner, we want to help you heat things up with our April Sex Blogger of the Month, Miss Ruby!
Miss Ruby is a Canadian sex toy reviewer who is no stranger to Kinkly! We love her honest reviews and sex-positive message. We love her so much that we want to make sure that everyone knows about her. In addition to her place as one of our 2018 Top 100 Sex Blogging Superheroes, we are helping you get to know her better by giving you Miss Ruby's ten answers to our ten questions!
Kinkly: Give us three words that describe your blog.
Miss Ruby: Simple. Colorful. Sex-positive.
Kinkly: What inspired you to start the blog?
Miss Ruby: A perfect little storm inspired me to start Miss Ruby Reviews. I was a grad student, dissatisfied with my program, and looking for a creative outlet. I didn't have any kind of community or friends I could talk about sex toys (or sex, or consent) with, and I wanted one. I recently discovered the joys of online sex toy shopping and purchased toys that weren't effective or body safe because I hadn't been able to find any external reviews of them. When I discovered the difference between non-porous and porous toys, I started to feel a pull towards the industry outside that of a mere consumer.
Discovering that sex toy bloggers where a thing, though, was like a lightning bolt. I knew I had to get in as soon as possible! I really wanted to join the community, critique toys, and help others find a great match.
Kinkly: Who's your target reader?
Miss Ruby: Anyone curious about sex toys. That means anyone looking to buy a sex toy and doesn't know where to start, or they have one in mind and they aren't sure it's a good fit. I also draw in people who aren't sure about sex toys on principle or who are trying to figure out if it's something to bring into their relationship.
Kinkly: What's unique about your blog?
Miss Ruby: My perspective and my past quietly shaped my blog's design and choices. I come from a conservative, Canadian, religious, sex-is-very-very-bad background. I grew up being told that sex toys were gross and that self-pleasure was gross.
Over the years, I've (a little sub-consciously) created a blog that subverts the negative internalized messages I grew up with. I talk about sex toys, yes, but I have a squeaky clean, glossy blog...nothing at all like the young me would have expected. Pleasure was something to be hidden and not discussed, so I talk about it everywhere and showcase toys with pretty pictures. I've written about trauma and about how sex toys can help with trauma. I try to be inclusive, sex-positive, and welcoming.
Kinkly: What is the topic you find yourself covering most often and why?
Miss Ruby: Almost all of my blog posts (aside from giveaways) are sex toy reviews. So, that's my focus. My favourite thing to review tends to be small clitoral vibes, but I also review a surprising amount of realistic dildos.
Kinkly: What was your most popular post ever? Why do you think it drew so many readers?
Miss Ruby: My most popular post is my review of the We-Vibe Tango. It was one of the first reviews I ever wrote and it glowed! It was the first toy / anything to get me to ten orgasms. It's a well-known toy, so I get referrals from people who've heard about the brand or who've found the post while looking for a ridiculously strong vibrator.
Kinkly: What's the best thing about writing a sex blog?
Miss Ruby: It's endlessly fun, engaging, and the highs far outweigh the lows. It's my quiet little alter-ego. I get to contribute to the knowledge out there, write scathing critiques of poor business practices in the industry, and see the latest sex toy technologies unfold.
I've met hundreds of great people over the years, helped more find what they need, helped counter harmful stereotypes about sex toys, and had the chance to review hundreds of toys. As an introvert, it allows me to act extroverted on my own terms.
Kinkly: What's the worst thing about it?
Miss Ruby: Sometimes working with companies is infuriating (which is sad because working with great companies is one of the best thing about this gig).
But the treatment from some companies can be exhausting. This ranges from being asked to pay to review them (?), being told I'll be sent a "free" item for review (it's not actually free if I spend hours reviewing it) or being told they're only willing to pay me a fraction of my ad space fee. I'm often asked to write posts for their store's blog, with compensation being a link back to my blog (this is almost always a horrible, horrible deal for a blogger). I think some companies don't recognize the value of bloggers, how much we can collectively boost or crash sales, and how much buyers are turning to us for help.
Most of the time, though, companies are fab. I tend to work closely with a small number of companies I adore.
Kinkly: OK, now for the good stuff: Give us your best tip for great sex.
Miss Ruby: Communication, enthusiastic consent, and reciprocating effort.
As a cis-gender woman in a hetero relationship, my personal rule of thumb is this: have two orgasms before PIV sex starts.