Kinkly: What's unique about your blog?
Miss Ruby: My perspective and my past quietly shaped my blog's design and choices. I come from a conservative, Canadian, religious, sex-is-very-very-bad background. I grew up being told that sex toys were gross and that self-pleasure was gross.
Over the years, I've (a little sub-consciously) created a blog that subverts the negative internalized messages I grew up with. I talk about sex toys, yes, but I have a squeaky clean, glossy blog...nothing at all like the young me would have expected. Pleasure was something to be hidden and not discussed, so I talk about it everywhere and showcase toys with pretty pictures. I've written about trauma and about how sex toys can help with trauma. I try to be inclusive, sex-positive, and welcoming.
Kinkly: What is the topic you find yourself covering most often and why?
Miss Ruby: Almost all of my blog posts (aside from giveaways) are sex toy reviews. So, that's my focus. My favourite thing to review tends to be small clitoral vibes, but I also review a surprising amount of realistic dildos.
Kinkly: What was your most popular post ever? Why do you think it drew so many readers?
Miss Ruby: My most popular post is my review of the We-Vibe Tango. It was one of the first reviews I ever wrote and it glowed! It was the first toy / anything to get me to ten orgasms. It's a well-known toy, so I get referrals from people who've heard about the brand or who've found the post while looking for a ridiculously strong vibrator.
Kinkly: What's the best thing about writing a sex blog?
Miss Ruby: It's endlessly fun, engaging, and the highs far outweigh the lows. It's my quiet little alter-ego. I get to contribute to the knowledge out there, write scathing critiques of poor business practices in the industry, and see the latest sex toy technologies unfold.
I've met hundreds of great people over the years, helped more find what they need, helped counter harmful stereotypes about sex toys, and had the chance to review hundreds of toys. As an introvert, it allows me to act extroverted on my own terms.
Kinkly: What's the worst thing about it?
Miss Ruby: Sometimes working with companies is infuriating (which is sad because working with great companies is one of the best thing about this gig).
But the treatment from some companies can be exhausting. This ranges from being asked to pay to review them (?), being told I'll be sent a "free" item for review (it's not actually free if I spend hours reviewing it) or being told they're only willing to pay me a fraction of my ad space fee. I'm often asked to write posts for their store's blog, with compensation being a link back to my blog (this is almost always a horrible, horrible deal for a blogger). I think some companies don't recognize the value of bloggers, how much we can collectively boost or crash sales, and how much buyers are turning to us for help.
Most of the time, though, companies are fab. I tend to work closely with a small number of companies I adore.
Kinkly: OK, now for the good stuff: Give us your best tip for great sex.
Miss Ruby: Communication, enthusiastic consent, and reciprocating effort.
As a cis-gender woman in a hetero relationship, my personal rule of thumb is this: have two orgasms before PIV sex starts.
