Each month, Kinkly staff takes the time to review sex bloggers to bring you, our readers, only the best of the best. This month is certainly no exception. September is known as the month where students return to school to prepare for their future. Here at Kinkly, we believe that everyone should be ready for the future. In honor of that, our Sex Blogger of the Month is Jenna Owsianik of FutureOfSex.net! We love Future of Sex for so many reasons. Not only can readers stay up-to-date on all things related to sex, many of the articles are even safe for work.
Here are Jenna's answers to our 10 questions!
Kinkly: Give us three words that describe your blog.
Jenna: Informed, futuristic, and sex-positive.
Kinkly: What inspired you to start the blog?
Jenna: The site publisher, futurist Ross Dawson, launched Future of Sex in 2011 and I came on as editor in 2014. Ross was fascinated by how new technologies were affecting human sexuality and realized their influence and potential would only grow in the years to come. However, as I’m sure many of your readers already know, sex-related topics often don’t receive the serious and nuanced coverage they deserve in the mainstream media. Instead, sex-negative stories receive the bulk of attention or sexual topics get relegated to special issues or columns.
Future of Sex was born out of the desire to create insightful reporting that sparks discussion on how we can create the best possible sexual future—one that is inclusive and free of sexual shame. Our mission is to help people understand the possibilities and implications of how sex and intimacy are evolving across five domains: robotics, virtual reality, remote sex (including teledildonics), virtual sex, and human augmentation. We want to engage with our readers so we are all better prepared for the coming transformation of human sexuality, which is potentially far beyond what we have ever before imagined.
Kinkly: What's behind the name?
Jenna: I’m pretty sure this one is obvious: We want to help shape a positive future of sex that allows for full human expression.
Kinkly: Who's your target reader?
Jenna: Everyone! Of course, that’s a very general answer. More specifically, we target people who are curious about tech advances related to sex and intimacy as well as news surrounding the sex tech industry.
Personally, I aim to create a space where people with various sexual orientations, gender identities, and desires feel like they are welcomed and accepted. I want to give these readers ideas about sexual avenues they could explore to feel sexually fulfilled and a thoughtful place to have productive discussions—even when there’s disagreement.
So while we target a wide range of readers, the person I really want to attract is the one who’s been taught to feel different or self-conscious. The one who might feel like a so-called sexual freak, a weirdo, or a slut. That person could be the most vanilla cis-gendered heterosexual who’s learned to feel bad about feeling good or the misunderstood robosexual who is waiting for their synthetic lover to come to life.
Kinkly: What's unique about your blog?
Jenna: I think we’ve attracted a unique community of folks and a subculture of sexual explorers whose interests are outside the mainstream. Our audience overall is actually quite diverse in terms of background, location, and taste—and still also includes those who fall inside the bounds of what’s considered acceptable sexual expression in dominant culture. However, our readership has grown into a lovely network of open-minded people who are often very different to each other.
Kinkly: What is the topic you find yourself covering most often and why?
Jenna: Sex robots. People are fascinated with the idea of humanoid robots that could potentially be designed to satisfy an infinite range of sexual fantasies. With this comes tremendous excitement as well as deep anxiety over how human relationships may evolve as a result.
There’s incredible potential to help people with sex therapy robots such as abuse survivors and patients with erectile dysfunction. Sex robots could be a great way for people to experiment with threesomes. These mechanical lovers could conceivably intuit your wants and needs and become the ultimate sexual teachers. However, the more controversial topics include whether or not they should be used to fulfill fantasies of rape and child sexual abuse in order to prevent crimes against living persons. There’s also a lot of concern about whether they would reinforce gender inequality.
This topic is complex and far-reaching. It’s also attracting considerably more attention now that roboticized sex dolls have begun to hit the market.
Kinkly: What was your most popular post ever? Why do you think it drew so many readers?
Jenna: Our most popular article is definitely our review of the best massively multiplayer online sex games. I think it’s because in these adult virtual worlds you can explore your sexuality and try out your most secretive fantasies in relatively safe and controllable environments. They’ve attracted millions of users!
Once inside you create a custom avatar and then meet others in fun and kinky spots like nightclubs, apartments, and dungeons. They can be a fun way to test out what really excites you or to simply build some sexual confidence and experience to use later in the physical world.
Kinkly: What's the best thing about writing a sex blog?
Jenna: The wonderful sex-positive people that I meet. Because people in sex tech are often shunned by the dominant business culture (i.e. denied access to funding, banking, and advertising opportunities), it’s generally a really nice group of kind and supportive folks. They’re also super interesting.
Kinkly: What's the worst thing about it?
Jenna: I can’t always speak frankly about what I do, largely because many people harbor complicated feelings about sex. At family functions or meeting new people, for example, I need to talk in vague terms and feel them out before getting specific. But if that’s the price I have to pay for having a job I love, then it’s really not so bad!
Kinkly: OK, now for the good stuff: Give us your best tip for great sex.
Jenna: Be selfish, and I mean that in the best sense of the word! I can only speak from my own experience as a youngish woman who has predominantly had experiences with men. I feel like growing up, girls were taught our value was based on how much we pleased men and put other people’s needs before our own. It’s no shock to me now that studies show that only about a third of women regularly orgasm during sex, while the overwhelming majority of men do. Look, good sex is about more than the orgasm. Yet, the orgasm gap between sexes to me is a symptom of sexist inequality similar to the pay gap.
Don’t be so selfish that you ignore or mistreat your lover. Just make sure that you put your pleasure and comfort at the top of the list and allow yourself the confidence to ask for what you want. In the end, it makes the sex for both partners more enjoyable.
Oh, and remind yourself and your partners that foreplay begins after your last orgasms!