Sex Blogger of the Month: ‘Dr. Vixenne’ of Sexologist Vixenne

Fall is upon us. It's time for staying warm. For many people, that includes more sexy time. That's why we've chosen Dr. Victoria Reuveni, "Dr. Vixenne," of Sexologist Vixenne as our Sex Blogger of the Month for October. Dr. Vixenne's posts are educated, informative, practical and sex positive. Here are Dr. Vixenne's 10 answers to Kinkly's 10 questions.

Kinkly: Give us three words that describe your blog.

DV: Body positive, vulnerable and self-pleasuring.

Kinkly: What inspired you to start your blog?

DV: I wanted to write about sexuality, kink, relationships, and body positivity from a sex-positive perspective.

Kinkly: What's behind the name?

DV: I decided on Sexologist Vixenne because at the time I started my site I was working through my doctoral program, hence the "sexologist" part. Not too many people know this story, but "Vixenne" was a nickname that I came up with many years ago with my then-boyfriend while we were playing Rock Band. It was the name I gave to my character in the game. Awesomely, it's stuck and it feels right.

Kinkly: Who's your target reader?

DV: I hope to reach people who need that extra bit of permission to love their bodies and sexualities as is. I want to encourage and empower people to constantly be exploring their own sensuality and sexuality regardless of whether they are partnered or not. In my reviews, I hope to be a voice for fat folks who may need to consider whether a toy is something that can fit their needs with regard to length for people with bellies or reach issues.

Kinkly: What's unique about your blog?

DV: This is probably one of the more challenging questions. Would it be flippant to say my blog is unique because I'm me and my life experience is different than another person? I really do think that. How many other sex bloggers were raised Orthodox Jewish (went to Orthodox schools through 12th grade), have a background and doctorate in human sexuality, are a certified Sexological Bodyworker, are fat, kinky, and nonmonogamously exploring? (And that's the tip of the iceberg.)

Kinkly: What is the topic you find yourself covering most often and why?

DV: Not including the product reviews, I seem to write most about self-pleasuring, Orgasmic Yoga, and Sexological Bodywork - topics that overlap and I am super passionate about. Orgasmic Yoga (OY) is a phenomenal practice that encourages self-exploration free of self-judgement and moving away from outside stimulus like porn and fantasy (which are awesome, please don't get me wrong). OY allows us to hold ourselves as is whether aroused or not, erect or not, sad, happy, angry, etc., and simply BE while also exploring pleasurable sensations.

On a related note, Sexological Bodywork is a hands-on form of sex education that helps clients move through sources of sexual concern. It for people who feel stuck, and need help learning to explore and expand ways of experiencing pleasure from head to toe. I want more people to know about OY and Sexological Bodywork because these are valuable experiences to have in one's sexual toolbox. I love Orgasmic Yoga and I love the work I've done as a Sexological Bodyworker.

Kinkly: What was your most popular post ever? Why do you think it drew so many readers?

DV: My most popular review was on the New We-Vibe Touch. It's one of my earliest reviews, so it has the benefit of being an older post. Also, We-Vibe in general is a fantastic company that makes stellar, sturdy toys. The newer Touch vibe in particular is quite a popular clitoral vibe that is a staple in many toy boxes.

My top non-review post is on squirting. I intentionally titled it "Female" Ejaculation. I wanted to bring over the people who aren't savvy about anatomy and gender, but once I got them to read it, I wanted to build on that and explain functions and techniques rather than "women can do this thing and it's the be-all of sex and orgasms." From that framework, I created a non-demo class called Calling Forth the Gush, which I've now taught a few times. I'm very passionate about the class and the tone I have all through it. I think this post has drawn in so many readers because squirting is kind of seen as this next frontier that's become less and less taboo, so now people are curious whether all folks with vulvas are able to do it.

Kinkly: What's the best thing about writing a sex blog?

DV: I love contributing to messages of sex positivity and body acceptance. We need voices from all backgrounds in this conversation because not every writer is going to resonate with each reader. Sharing my perspectives, hopefully with a bit of humor, has been a fun learning process. Figuring out that fine line of how much I want disclose has been interesting and, at times, amusing.

Kinkly: What's the worst thing about it?

DV: Consistency and burnout are two of my biggest struggles. When it comes to products, it's not just jerking off and writing about it. I need to be critical about the item, what works and what doesn't, and differentiate between why something might not work for my body, but is still a good item otherwise. Being critical and objective can be tough to do consistently due to of lack of desire (you have to want to vibrate your bits!), or just wanting my masturbatory sessions to be a get it done and out of the way situation. For other articles, I struggle with feeling like I don't have anything new to say about topics under the wider umbrella of sexuality.

Kinkly: OK, now for the good stuff: Give us your best tip for great sex.

DV: Whether in solo or partnered sex, breath is so important. It's very common for people to hold their breaths (particularly when close to orgasm), and that will alter sensations in certain ways. I highly recommend people play with different breathing patterns - whether more rapid or slowed down or in tandem with a partner - and explore how that enhances, or at least changes, their arousal. The more we breathe, the more we feel! For an added bonus, throw in some Kegels, too!