Sex Blogger of the Month: Dave from The Big Gay Review

Hello, February! Winter is winding down, but in many places it's still pretty cold and dark outside. The good news is, we are featuring an awesome sex blogger, Dave from The Big Gay Review. As a reviewer of male toys, Dave is in a bit of an elite group to begin with, but what really sets his blog apart is the thorough analysis he puts into each and every toy. If you're looking to buy, this blog will definitely lay out everything you need to know to make a decision. And if pondering a new sex toy doesn't help thaw you out by spring time, we don't know what will. Here are Dave's answers to our questions.

Kinkly: Give us three words that describe your blog.

Dave: Bright, honest and fun

Kinkly: What inspired you to start the blog?

Dave: I had been reviewing sex toys for UK retailer Lovehoney for a little while, and thought it might be fun to move some of the reviews I’ve written over to a blog and expand on them. I never thought it would stick. I’ve had many blogs in the past. I always start them with good intentions, but they always end up fizzling away. For some reason, this one took off and it stuck. On the plus side, it has helped out my relationship in so many ways. It’s only within the last 12 months that my partner confided in me that they are dealing with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Reviewing toys with me meant that we were able to be intimate without the full on pressure of sex. It’s allowed us to be more open and honest with each other, and we’ve both become more open minded and experimental. It really has been the best three years.

Kinkly: What’s behind the name?

Dave: I was always told to keep things simple. It’s called The Big Gay Review because I am a curvy queer fellow who happens to review sex toys. I really wish there was a profound story to go along with it, but sadly that is the tea.

Kinkly: Who’s your target reader?

Dave: Big gays, naturally. But in all seriousness, at the time of starting the blog, I didn’t really have an audience in mind. But as we approach our third year, I’m discovering that I’ve had my writing seen by all sorts of people. So, who is my target reader? Anyone who wants to know more about sex toys! I do my best to be as inclusive as possible when writing; so, whether you are a complete newcomer to the world of sex toys, or someone who is more experienced looking for a new challenge – I hope everyone can find something of value to take away with them.

Kinkly: What’s unique about your blog?

Dave: This is one of those questions that always throws me through a loop, because we are all our worst critic and honestly, when I see who else is out there, I struggle to think of a unique selling point. This may come off as big headed, so if it does, I’m sorry – but I guess I would be the unique thing about my blog? There is only one of me (thankfully) and I like to think that I’ve developed a style that is easy to read, informative, inspirational and at times, amusing. I have a very open, bubbly and friendly personality, and I want to normalize talking about sex toys, as they are nothing to be ashamed of.

But, I do hope that my tone and style of writing helps people feel at ease when they are looking at a review. I am one of those people who writes like they talk, so I try to almost write reviews like a conversation. Even as I write this now, I am sounding it out in my head, just to make sure that it flows in the same way it would if I was physically speaking the words.

Kinkly: What is the topic you find yourself covering most often and why?

Dave: Reviews, pretty much. There are so many awesome sexuality resources out there that I’m not overly certain how much new stuff I can bring to the table! Reviews were how I got into the blogging game, and will always be the focus of the blog. As and when the inspiration hits me, then I might write a piece of erotica or a guide/how-to.

Kinkly: What was your most popular post ever? Why do you think it drew so many readers?

Dave: My most popular post was the one I wrote about prostate massage. It was one of the very first guides I ever wrote, and it still sees thousands of views each month. At the time of writing it, prostate massage was "in." It was one of those subjects that was always a bit taboo because of sadly ill-informed opinions. There was a connotation that if you liked having your butt played with, then you were gay. Before I wrote the article, I had received several emails from guys who were telling me that they were straight but enjoyed using dildos or butt plugs, but they were doing so in secret from their partners because they were worried about what they would say.