(out of five)
The Satisyer Pro Penguin has a few annoying design features, but it makes up for them in orgasms.
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Innovative sex toys are my jam so when I was offered the chance to review the Satisfyer Pro Penguin, a relatively new toy on the scene that bills itself as a "pressure wave vibrator," I was more than willing. With so many toys on the market becoming more and more complicated, I was pleased to see how simple and cute the Satisfyer Pro Penguin is. Its adorable design shouldn’t fool you, though. This toy has some serious vibes. It also boasts some high-end features: it's waterproof and USB rechargeable. It has been compared to the Womanizer Pro40 - without the high price tag - and is said to be great for anyone who likes oral stimulation. Naturally, I had high hopes for my next solo sesh. Here are my thoughts, unfiltered. "Cute" is the best word I can come up with for the design of the Pro Penguin. I love that it’s made of silicone and is small (read: I can put this in my carry-on bag when I travel) but I fear that there was more focus on form than on function here.
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While other Satisfyer toys have the head at a right angle, making it easy to position the toy on the clitoris, the Pro Penguin is angled outward, making it less convenient to use and harder to hold in the right spot. Not a huge deal but I definitely noticed it.
There are two buttons on the side of the toy facing your body. One is the power button, the other is for changing the intensity of the vibrations (we’ll get to that in just a minute). Let me just say, I’m a big fan of obvious buttons. The Pro Penguin’s buttons are not obvious. During my first go at using it, I had to fumble around with the buttons to figure out how to adjust the vibes. After a few moments of mild annoyance, I figured it out. By the time I was ready to turn the toy off (and by ready I mean I really need to get this thing off of my clitoris), I couldn’t easily shut it down. It turns out you have to press the smaller button for several seconds - like, longer than you think you’d need to.
The overall design is not my favorite but, to be honest, none of it was really a deal-breaker for me because, well, orgasms.
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I can get off with just about anything, as long as I’m in the mood, but the Pro Penguin made that really easy. It has 11 different settings ranging from a slight rumble to a generous vibe that was, if I’m being honest, a little too much for me. If you like strong vibrations, push the intensity button 11 times and you’ll be well on your way to an orgasm. Personally, I prefer it on a 5 or 6. And this toy really gets to work; I went from "this feels nice" to "whoa, OK, here we go" in about three minutes, which is pretty awesome if you’re trying to squeeze in a quick masturbation session.
The clitoral suction was nice but didn’t quite live up to the promise of the simulation of oral sex for me. I will say that my partner using the Pro Penguin on me during foreplay was a nice addition to our usual routine, though. It got me ready to go in less time than it took to pause the latest episode of "Scandal," so I’m satisfied with that.
The vibrations are not just for your body, though. They are also for the ears of anyone who happens to be in the next room. The moment I pulled the nozzle away from my body, the toy rumbled so loudly that I was sure my roommates could hear it in the living room. Personally, I don’t care. When you live in a house with other adults, you get used to sex sounds. Some people might find this to be a turn-off, though.
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So, I’ve whined a bit about design and function, I know. But the Satisfyer Pro Penguin has some great characteristics too. It’s rechargeable with a USB (so much easier than scrambling to replace batteries before the mood passes), it's waterproof (hello, bubble bath!), and has vibes for days (if you can handle it).
Well, the "meh" side of the equation for me is the angle of the head and the fact that the clitoral suction wasn’t as strong as I'd hoped for. The buttons were annoying but, again, not a deal breaker because this thing really delivers in terms of quick, satisfying orgasms. The pros outweigh the cons, in my opinion.
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The Satisyer Pro Penguin isn't fancy, but it's inexpensive and it does what it does very well. If you’re looking for a toy to take on vacation, help you reach orgasm in less than five minutes, or supplement your usual dildo or vibrator routine, this is a solid choice. There will always be toys out there that are sleeker and quieter, but the Pro Penguin is adorable and makes for great - if slightly noisy - fun. I say go for it!
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