Learning to masturbate to stimulate the cervix is well worth the effort, though.
"Whereas a clitoral orgasm is felt on the surface of the body, cervical orgasms originate from the core of body. They start from deep inside the body and extends outwards. So it explodes from the center of the body out,’’ Olivia said.
Anecdotally, people report feeling nourished for days or even weeks by the afterglow of a cervical orgasm. They are pretty spectacular and well worth the effort.
Stimulating the Cervix
So how do we masturbate with the cervix in mind? Here are a few tips.
Getting That Depth
Olivia Bryant is a sexologist and founder of Self:Cervix, an online course to help women awaken the cervix and experience pleasure. She says that our ability to reach the cervix easily can depend on our body shape. For example, if you have a long torso and short arms it may be more difficult.
You can try to shorten your torso by lying back in a squatting position, or putting your butt on a pillow. Lying on your side with legs bent up, like a fetal position, can also make it easier to reach.
The cervix changes position during different times of the month, so during your period or before ovulation you may find it easier to get to.
A glass wand or dildo specifically designed for reaching the cervix can also help; even if you can reach your cervix, your fingers may not have the stamina to provide the best kind of stimulation.
Waking Up The Cervix
The cervix is the least sensate of the sexual organs, (despite having the most nerves), so it can take a little waking up.
Bryant says that the cervix tends to become numb after years of poking and prodding with pap smears and medical procedures, as well as traumatic experiences. The cervix can also become numb after sexual encounters when it is banged against in an uncomfortable way, and if we don’t feel like we can speak up for the kind of sex we want.
For this reason both Olivia and Bryant teach a practice called "de-armouring," where gentle pressure is used to release tension from the cervix.
"The cervix can be pretty tender, if you just start stimulating it right away, especially if you’ve had some kind of medical procedure. You might feel numbness, tenderness, for a period of time, perhaps even months where you’ll need to spend time awakening the cervix, so that you can start to feel pleasure there. Do not be disheartened if you don’t feel pleasure right away.’’
Bringing Awareness to the Cervix
During Bryant’s Self:Cervix course, participants try abstaining for 21 days as part of the cervical awakening process. Bryant says that because we are so "clitorally focused," having a period of abstinence can help us rewire and strengthen the neural pathways between the cervix and the brain.
Olivia recommends splitting your awareness between the clitoris and cervix by trying clitoral simulation and noticing the sensations of pleasure, and then stimulating the cervix with slow, steady, repetitive motion and taking your awareness to the cervix.
"Sometimes the pleasure can feel subtle, but once you pay attention it can start to grow. Take your time," Olivia said. "Clitoral orgasms can happen quickly but cervical orgasms can take much longer, perhaps even 45 minutes. The time it takes can decrease over time with practice. ’’
OK ... so why have we never heard about this?
One thing I’m curious about is how our society can be so unaware that the cervical orgasm exists. I can’t help feeling that female sexual pleasure has been hidden or suppressed.
Olivia agrees. "The sexual erotic arts have been hidden from society. When you have full sexual aliveness in your body, it gives you a lot of personal freedom," she said.
I think it’s the psychotherapist Wilhelm Reich who said if people had really alive, natural sexuality they couldn’t be controlled by the state.
Having experienced the the empowering pleasure of cervical orgasm for myself, I can’t help but agree.