You've seen the stories and scrolled past the erotic images: you know a woman can be in control of a sexual encounter. While the idea may intrigue you, the nervousness over doing it "right" or the worry about always knowing what to do may have made you toss this idea into the recycle bin of your mind.

Luckily, the simple solution is in most of our pockets: a cell phone. While exploring the beauty of a power exchange dynamic in-person can be amazingly erotic in itself, for those who'd like a simple way to experiment with the idea, using sexting to try out your FemDom persona can be a great solution.

Read: 5 High-Tech Ways to Enjoy Mutual Masturbation

The Benefits of FemDom via Phone

Playing online and via text gets a bad rap in the BDSM community. The common sentiment is that it's "better in real-life" - and you know what? It is! But kink play - via sexting or online messaging - can be a rewarding experience in a different way, and some aspects of it can certainly prepare you for in-person playtimes as well. Some of the benefits of trying out those FemDom heels via texting include:

There's Less Time to Be Nervous

One of the biggest concerns I hear from people wanting to flex their dominant side is that they're nervous and don't know what to do. Many are just worried about giggling in the middle of their own scene! Using sexting to give things a "first try" will eliminate most of those problems. Giggle to yourself after you send something that you thought sounded a little cheesy? They'll never know! But when you receive their steamy reply, you might begin to see why being in charge can have some arousing perks.

There's More Time to Think

In addition to having an easy way to avoid your nerves, practicing your dominant hand via texting gives you a lot more time to think. Instead of the standard milliseconds that are used for person-to-person conversation, you'll have minutes to contemplate your next reply. For those who are concerned they haven't spent enough time in charge to easily play the persona "on the fly", getting some practice via sexting will let you acclimate into your perfect FemDom character.

More Time to Enjoy Yourself Without Pressure

When you're still new at something - whether that something is BDSM or hang-gliding - most of your brain's attention goes towards trying to do a good job at that thing. While that might be useful for the latest work task, it's the opposite of useful for your sex life. You're supposed to be enjoying yourself! Trying out your FemDom persona via sexting will give your brain some downtime so you can attempt to get into an erotic mood - while also being in charge.

Try Out New Things

While texting may not give you the full picture of whether you enjoy something, it can certainly help your brain process the idea of enjoying something. While you might be scared to try being a strict, orgasm-denying Mistress at first, you might be a bit more inspired to give it a try if all of your texting sessions are an arousing success. (You could even bring some interactive sex toys into the mix!)

Read: 10 Things to Know About Teledildonic Toys (Including How to Use Them)

Tips for Success

Now you're inspired, right? You've decided your next sexting session might include a little bit of FemDom playtime. I think you're going to love it! That being said, if you're new to being in charge during sexual (and textual!) play, here are some tips that might help you have a smoother first experience:

Talk to Your Partner

Before you do anything else, you'll likely want to know that the person you're chatting to is interested in being told what to do. Knowing that your partner wants your dominance is an inspiration and aphrodisiac in itself! Consider asking something like "I think it'd be a turn-on if I could be in charge. Would you like that sometime?" or something like "Tonight, I think you and your body are going to be under my control. Would you like that?"

Use Inspiration Beforehand

If you know you want to try being in charge but have never have had the chance to try it before, you might benefit from finding some inspiration beforehand. Consider watching FemDom porn - although you should remember that most of the dominatrixes featured in those films are of the cruel, humiliating type. If that isn't your type of persona, consider written FemDom stories; they usually feature a more dynamic range of dominant personas to get into. You might also consider lesbian BDSM erotica as well; again, those stories tend to have a wider range of domination types to enjoy.

Have a General Game Plan Before you Start

While you don't have to have thought out everything, one of the easiest ways to beat your nerves is to have a general game plan before you even begin. What would you like to do via text today? Would you like him to strip off his clothing, piece by piece, as he sends you photos of himself - and you get to critique whether that photo passes your inspection? Would you like him to take specific instructions for his self-pleasuring - and then ultimately deny his orgasm? It's entirely up to you as to what you'd like to do, but going into your texting session with a general "I'd like to accomplish this" will help you come up with texts as the two of you are communicating.

Decide on your FemDom Persona

Are you going to be caring? Are you going to be strict and humiliating? You'll have to decide what type of personality will fit you best. While you can always switch in the middle of your play, deciding whether you'll want to reward him by sending him erotic photos of yourself or reward him by telling him he doesn't deserve anything from you will help set the basis for your interaction.

You Can Go Small

Are you worried about doing an entire sexting session as the dominant person? That's OK. It can be really scary if you've never done it before! Luckily, nobody says you can't start small. Consider adding a few dominant slants to your regular sexting conversation. Demand that your partner send you a photo of exactly what you want - whether you want to barter with a photo of your own is up to you. Try to tell them exactly what you'd like them to do at that moment. Be up-front and tell them exactly what you're doing - and how you'd make them pleasure you if they were with you at that specific second. You don't have to take control of the entire conversation, but throwing yourself into dominance once in a while may help you pick up the reigns entirely at a later date.

Read: 10 Life-Saving Tips for People in Long-Distance Relationships